FOMO, SOBO, JOLO, MOFO : At which phase are you?

At some point in life, we feel stuck. We want to move forward, yet, we do not. We want more. There is no escaping this feeling of wanting 'more'. Not having more means settling for less. And that is no good for us. What can we do? Where can we find the means to end this tragedy?

[NOTE: This is an excerpt from the book, Clueless at 30 ]

There are four phases of a clueless mind: Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), Search of Better Options (SOBO), Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) and Move Forward (MOFO).

In the FOMO phase, you feel clueless and left behind. You feel you are not good enough. You are punished. You are left lonely. You experience deep-rooted fears and invariably feel people around you are having more fun and leading a better life. You, on the other hand, feel like you live your life on autopilot, locked in by your choices—whether it is a job, a relationship or both. Here, you experience anxieties and fears aroused by family, friends, social media and also some that are self-inflicted.

In a quest to rescue yourself from your nagging thoughts, you cruise right through to the second phase—Search of Better Options (SOBO). Here, you want to reinvent yourself. So, you decide to quit whatever that is holding you back and try out new experiences to shape your new future. You aspire to get out of your cozy comfort zone, only to experience several 'firsts' akin to fear. You realize, whatever you do, the irking fear is always there. It follows you everywhere, and you cannot avoid it. Eventually, you learn there is no growth without going head-on with anxiety and, at the same time, embrace the fear that comes with every new step. You embrace your idiosyncrasies and vulnerabilities, and not treat it like a cursed feeling. You become bum pals with every emotion that has held you back. Together, you experiment with new careers. You take on adventures together. Together, you fall, you rise.

In your journey to find meaning in the hustle, there comes a turning point. You come to realize the fallacy of career ambitions. You discover that you had wrapped yourself in a dangerous loop of focused illusions that had led you to be a victim of your own beliefs and other pre-conceived notions. At this point, you pensively transition from SOBO to JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). JOMO is a way to throw the garbage out and experience life at its purest; it is to be here and now. Pamper the present moment because that is what you have. That is where life is happening. You can utilize time in a way that allows you to act on intent-based ideas, such as creative projects or solo travelling.

After travelling through the treacherous terrains of FOMO, SOBO and JOMO, you attain the state of Move Forward (MOFO). At this stage, you stop looking for passion. Instead, you focus on developing and cementing new commitments that better reflect your interests and aspirations. You invest in yourself and decide to be a ‘work in progress’. You are a micro- goal setter and decide to take on small steps that will unleash new opportunities ahead. You figure how to be on high octane despite not- knowing what is ahead of you. It becomes your playbook. You do not look for passion anymore. Instead, you create your own playground to experiment with new things and introduce your different new avatars to the world.

For more on the workings and goof ups of a clueless mind, buy "Clueless at 30" on https://amzn.to/3CXcgYD