Followers and Likes : The worst of 'keeping up with the Jones's'

A friend of mine just called, they were upset, dejected, and rejected. They had been turned down for an opportunity because they didn’t have a big enough fanbase. Yes, you read that right - not enough social media followers. The fact that they had more than 20 years of experience, a proven track record of internal success they had been turned down for not having enough?external?validation.

The pressure to have a following is one of the downsides of modern living. The expectation that we need to be active on all platforms, creating Tik-Tok challenges etc gathering followers to be considered successful is an unfortunate consequence of always being ‘on’. For those who love these social media streams I say "go wild", for those who avidly track their statistics and number of followers - you do you!?

I’m certainly not completely immune. I’ve enjoyed more than one dog video or a ‘cute things kids say’ montage. I regularly post my own People First! Podcast videos. I’ve felt the warm glow when a connection request is accepted and the momentary heartbreak when a request is ignored or declined. I’ve felt the pressure to ‘post regularly’ and the rush when a post goes viral (I was trending in Australia with my ‘Leadership lessons from a dog owner’ article)’. The reality is the number of followers isn’t a true picture of the health of your relationships, nor is the number of your Facebook friends.?

The true test is what happens when things go wrong. When you’ve made a mistake and need help, when the project deadline gets moved up and you need to pull out all the stops to meet it. When you find yourself laid off and looking for your next job, or your flight is canceled and you need somewhere to stay (Which happened to me a few years ago). It’s in these moments that you find out who your real friends are.

My experience has shown that it’s quality over quantity every single time. The numbers mean nothing if, when you are in a pickle, there is no one there to pick you up. Whether it's to listen, to take action, to help you find that next job, to help open a door for you, or to make up the sofa bed (thanks Sarah!!).?

Our research for?You, Me, We?uncovered a startling and heartbreaking statistic. 20% of the more than 500 leaders who have completed our Ally Mindset Profile indicated they had no-one at work that they could call an ally. Not one friend. No one.

Think about that for a moment. We had an epidemic of loneliness before the pandemic, and working at a distance (even with all the virtual happy hours) hasn't helped things. One in five of us have no one they feel they can turn to in times of stress, uncertainty, or change. The very time we need someone they are left vulnerable and exposed.

High trust relationships are the duct tape that holds a team together in times of crisis and the WD-40 that enables things to move effortlessly on sunny days.

Morag Barrett - You, Me We. Why we all need a friend at work (and how to show up as one!)

What about you? In a crisis, how many followers, facebook friends, work colleagues, people in your sphere would step up and have your back? As importantly, as you think about your followers, facebook friends, work colleagues, and people in your sphere - who’s back do you have? Remember that to have an ally you need to be an ally!

Feel free to?complete your own Ally Mindset Profile?and add to our research, and if the answer to 'How many allies do you have?" is none - call me. We’'ll be your friend at work. We’re here for you.

The Punchline.

If you've read this far I want you to know that you are enough. If you are considering starting your own business, writing a book, applying for a promotion, in fact reaching for any dream - and you are telling yourself (or being told) that you don't:

• Have a big enough platform
• Don't know the right people
• Aren't ready

Then I call B.S. You are enough. Start now. You don’t need a million followers to get started. You don’t even need 1,000. You only need one.?

Relationships are the heart and lungs of our journey through life. Success is built one conversation, and one relationship at a time. The right people are already in your network and if they aren’t then start nurturing your network today.?

Forget the old adage of ‘six degrees of separation’, in today’s world it’s more like ‘two degrees of connection’. The people you need to know are only one introduction away, and you’ll never find those folks unless you start to reach out. Unless you ask. Unless you go first. To have a friend at work you need to be a friend at work.

And please, if you receive a call from someone in your network asking for help, listen with empathy, then do your best, no matter how small, to help them make progress towards their goal. Every tiny ripple helps create a tsunami of mutual success.?

(On which note, we’ve been told that our new book?You, Me, We?is close to ‘making a list’ - please help us by ordering 3 copies (one for you and some of your allies) from your favorite retailer.)

Don't fall for the myth that you need a large following to be successful. Instead go first. Believe in yourself. Live YOUR best life.

We'll share more in future newsletters, however?we have an ask of you today:?Please be?our?ally. If you're interested in reading?You, Me, We?(and we hope you are!) it'd make our day if you'd?order a copy now!?It'll ensure booksellers know that it's going to be in demand and have enough stock on hand.

You can pre-order from Amazon?or?your own favorite retailer.

Order You, Me, We Here!

12 Minutes for Laura Gassner Otting!

Have you ever had that feeling when you realize you are meant for more?

And in?that same moment felt excitement and fear? The promise and anxiety, of joy and uncertainty? These are the feelings you experience when you glimpse the wonder of what lies ahead, if only you can manage the hell of the burden of potential that it plops on your shoulders.

Take 12 minutes to listen to my friend and colleague?Laura Gassner Otting?in her latest, fabulous, TEDx where she introduces us to the concept of Wonderhell.

You, Me, We

Available now, out in October!

You, Me, We?is the book for leaders who want to improve not just at work but outside?of work too. It?will help?you?build deep, long-lasting?relationships that set everybody up for success.

We've put our hearts into our exciting new book. We're sharing the insights of our research and experience as authors, best friends at work, and our leadership development programs around the world.

We've had some amazing feedback, including this endorsement from?Brian Fetherstonhaugh.

Order Here!

P.S. A final ask: Please consider nominating Morag for the Thinkers50 Radar. It takes only a couple of minutes to submit. Thank you!

RADAR Name (i.e., the nominee's name) is?Morag Barrett

RADAR Email is [email protected]

Nominate Morag!