To Follow A Crowd Or Stand Out From The Crowd?

Being someone who has never really liked to conform to the norm, I was always destined to stand out from the crowd. Many people who meet me are often surprised to hear I am an introvert.

An introvert born to stand out from the crowd … is doesn’t make sense really does it?

When I am on stage, coaching or delivering training my passion for what I do takes over, that is how I can do what I do and deliver my talks in such a way.

But as a person I am an introvert. I have very few people in my inner circle and very few people in my life that I open up to. Now I don’t see this as a bad thing at all, I am just simply someone who goes by the quality of the person and the relationship built with that person.

Everyone reading this knows I talk a lot about the importance of having a coach or mentor in your life. Being involved in networks of like minded people and watching what these people do so you can build your routines and habits to match theirs. This fundamentally allows you to develop into that person you desire to be.

But where do you draw the line? Where does that line between changing your habits / routine and changing who you are start to blur? When do you start following a crowd rather than being your own person?

Social acceptance these days is such a big thing. People want to feel accepted and sometimes will drastically change their morals, values and beliefs simply to fit in with the crowd of people they want to be associated with.

But how long do you keep up that pretence for? How is doing this serving you and allowing you to fulfil your purpose? If you have a gift or a service that you want to put out into the world and make a difference to people, how can people get to you and reach out to you if you are in the middle of a crowd?

Let me share a story with you …

Three years ago I created my annual event Ignite Your Inner Potential which has gone from strength to strength every year. Now when this first began I had it firmly set in my mind that this event was going to be a platform for new and upcoming speakers.

Over the years I had heard from so many inspiring people with such empowering stories and I would always ask them ‘why don’t you share your story?’ The answer would always be – ‘I have just never had the opportunity.’ Well I wanted to change that.

As Ignite began to grow I was approached by many established speakers and people recommending speakers to have at my event to build the interest and attract more people, but I always said no. Ignite was to grow authentically because of the value we deliver, not because of the name on the stage. People had to WANT to come and WANT to make changes in their lives, not be drawn in by a well known name.

I took a lot of stick for this.

“Kul, your event will never grow as much as you want it to unless you start associating it with some known names.”

“Why don’t you just have one known speaker?”

“Do you realise you could be missing out on making some serious money here.”

But this is what EVERYONE was doing. This was not what Ignite was about. Authentic growth and providing new and upcoming speakers with a platform – that was what was important to me.

When Create and Speak took off around 18 months later I was blown away by the radical changes of ALL attendees within such a small time frame. The talks were empowering, inspiring, strong and most importantly they all had a key message behind them.

These were the people I wanted on stage at Ignite. The new speakers who had invested in themselves to be better and took their speaking seriously; these were the people I wanted to help. So I merged the two together – ALL attendees of Create and Speak were to be put into a pool to have the opportunity to speak on the Ignite stage.

Again out came the critics! In fact it surprised me how much criticism I had! But then I was daring to stand out from the crowd. I was going down my own path and doing things my own way and people simply didn’t like it. But my passion for doing what I was doing was so strong I stuck to my guns.

Did I have doubts? Of course! Was I worried? Temporarily. But I had faith in myself, I had faith in my vision, I had faith in my team and I had faith in my speakers. I mean what a better way to show case the pure determination and hard work of my Create and Speak attendees than on my own stage.

This year was the year it paid off …

In January 2019 I had four sensational Create and Speak attendees take to the stage to deliver their talks. They were outstanding! The quality of their talks and the rapport they built with the crowd was just sensational. It was a real proud Dad moment.

The key moment was when I was informed at the end of the day that February’s Create and Speak had sold out and the one after was nearly at capacity. So many people commented on the quality and impact these speakers had made and loved the fact that these were new speakers. They wanted to follow in their footsteps. They wanted to have their own opportunity and all because four inspirational people took to the stage and showed them what was possible.

So what did I take from this?

Following a crowd will only take you so far. Watching like minded people to get you on your way serves well until you want to see your own personal success, then you have to be prepared to something no one else has done before to stand out.

No matter who or what tries to move you off course, always stay true to your vision. People feel uncomfortable when you are not falling into a norm and can sometimes feel threatened, but then it is down to them to follow their unique path and do something to make themselves stand out.

Nobody can live your life for you. Time is the one thing in life we never get back, so you can spend your time worrying or utilise your time to take action.

If I had listened and followed the crowd then Ignite would not be reaching the hundreds of people it is today and I would not have that platform for upcoming speakers. What we do with Ignite and Create and Speak changes lives, that is the difference between following the crowd and standing out from the crowd.

Perhaps move along and find your feet to begin with but once that golden path shows itself, no matter how scary it is and no matter how much people try to pull you back, begin that walk down your ind, ividual road. You will not regret it.

Kul Mahay is the Founder of Ignite Your Inner Potential, one of the UK's fastest-growing personal development events. Ignite Your Inner Potential has grown into a powerful brand that now focuses on:

• Leadership Development
• People Development
• Strategic Development Consultancy
• Public Speaking Training
• Keynote Speaking

Kul Mahay has 32 years experience within the UK Police Service and over 26 years of leadership experience and he now helps organisations create emotionally intelligent leaders.

If you are interested in attending the next annual Ignite Your Inner Potential event or speak with Kul please contact us at:

Email: [email protected]

Tel: (+0044) 7773 324924