The fog keeps moving

This was something entirely different, something I hadn’t expected or even prepared for. The immediate thoughts running through my head were, what did it mean for my job and everything I had done and built. What was going to happen next? I felt an uneasiness, a warm sensation rising up from my gut. You know? That feeling when you’re nervous, unsure or scared, as if you just saw a lion or a grizzly bear looking at you, mirroring your thoughts. It was a fight or flight response, I suspect. Fairly confident, that’s what it was.?

I took a deep breath, paused and processed what had really been said.

I had to reply. I couldn’t say something that would satisfy my ego or something that would please them. I've been doing that all this while. I had to change tack.

I had to be true to myself and speak of what mattered to me and what I wanted. And I think that’s what I did. Did I perhaps mumble? Maybe. Was I unsure? No. I had been waiting for that clarity. Something you don’t get by looking at a mirror and think you know everything.?

But it was clarity. Like a wave function collapse and then be able to smell that amazing Mutton biryani land in front of your eyes. Sweet sweet candy - mostly really spicy and yummy.

Am I shaken and a bit stirred? I think so. The uneasiness persists, but I have to cross this Rubicon - break this ceiling, if I have to break out of this dream and walk into the next one.?

I’m not here to collect riches now. I’ll take them if they come to me, but I’m not chasing after them. What I’m chasing is that person beyond the dense fog who’s calling my name and saying things I can't fully make out. I need the fog to clear just a little bit so I can hear what they're saying if they're saying anything useful at all.

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. For now, I’m hungry and maybe a bit tired.