Focussing on MERIT: 5 Life Lessons From COVID-19

As an adage goes, we either learn from our mistakes or are then condemned to repeat them. Covid-19 with all the negativity and stress it got, also did bring along major life lessons. These, if taken forward, can help us grow as individuals and as a society. No, these lessons are not what we can learn from the disease; because though a Dr. I am a Ph.D. and not a medical professional. The lessons that I would be talking about here are the lessons I have learnt that I hope to consciously carry into the future and apply. I am sure that they will make me a better person and that, after all, is the purpose of life. So here goes – for all my students, colleagues, friends, family and people out there.

Lesson 1 – Magnanimity: Simply put the attitude of placing others before the self. Most would agree that we live in an increasingly self-focussed or self- centralised world. Whether in the context of competition, desires or anything else, we are a part of the rat race and believe that that the only way to progress and succeed is to focus on the self. This is not to deny that most of us do things for others; however, it is when and how much we can, as per our desire and convenience and not based really on the other person’s need. Altruism and magnanimity are largely demonstrated through donating money or things that we do not need. The class in Living Philosophy that I am currently doing is trying to change this attitude of people. Whether that, yoga or meditation, they drive us to dig deeper to see that ultimately we are a part of the cosmos and true progress will be when everyone progresses. It cannot be at the cost of others. A case in point is one that starkly stood out last week. A neighbour of mine – Bijal – had raised a query on the society group. She wanted to know where vegetables were available because she had run out of them. While a few did offer suggestions on the group – what was touching was that she received over 50 messages in less than 10 minutes, offering her the vegetables they had. This despite knowing that they themselves could not be sure, when they would get vegetables next. Many more such instances are people taking pains to organise groceries, vegetables, fruits etc not only for their neighbours but for the entire building/complex stretching beyond themselves, balancing work and this, to make it happen.

Lesson 2 - Essentialising: Although most of us know the value of thriftiness or consuming less; it remains an ideal in a consumeristic world! Most of the things and habits become for us ‘must haves’ and like Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist, we still long for more. We thus can never really break out of this cycle of desire, because, in fact, we often stop seeing it. It thus becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yet, if we pare our lives, we realise that those are really things we can do without. What makes us want to acquire them then? Bluntly put, it is our desires and wants and our misplaced sense of identity and identification with them! A case in point is newspapers. In the almost 50 years of my existence, I have heard many times how people just can’t do without them – how it makes it impossible to even complete their morning rituals and routines without reading them. But, what about now? What are these people doing? Of course they are doing without and still managing their morning rituals and routines. That is an extreme example (I don’t advocate not reading papers, as they help us remain up-to-date) – the more common ones are eating out, watching a movie first show, clothes, shoes, gold, just not being able to manage without a holiday…the list can go on. Well I am not saying that one should necessarily live without them; one need not, for, after all, we all have our desires and dreams. My only question is can we not reduce them and take charge of them, rather than letting them rule us. Are eating out less often, seeing fewer movies, choosing family over expensive holidays not a possibility?

Lesson 3 – Resilience: Although we have often heard that the best help lies at the end of our own arm, we rarely remember that. We are constantly looking at people and things to give us joy, comfort; in fact, our very sense of being. And then, when they fail us, we fret. An equally important lesson that the airlines repeat for us (most being now frequent fliers) is that put on your own mask, before assisting others. In short, help yourself first. Now, some of you may think that this goes against Lesson 1. But hold your breath! Actually, any person who can really make a difference to the world is either someone who is too full of himself (like Hitler), whom we don’t wish to be; or then has achieved a sense of balance. A person who is rooted and anchored (again something our philosophy course focuses on). People like Mother Teresa, Ratan Tata and Baba Amte are cases in point. See any form of yoga or meditation. It too tells us the same thing – first dig deep within; connect to your inner light and then use that to connect with the universe or the cosmic power. Those, who will emerge mentally and physically, stronger and have always done so, from any trying circumstance, are those who demonstrate this quality. So, in trying times create a routine, build relationships, develop qualities and engage in your passion/hobbies and then you will be able not only to carry on, but thrive!

Lesson 4 – Innovation: It is often difficult to believe that every problem has a solution and not the other way around. This is because we are so caught up in the problem that we are unable to see beyond it. Consequently, we wallow in it and forget to really work towards a solution. The awareness of the fact that we are never given a problem without the capability of dealing with it, at such times totally escapes our attention or then we fail to associate with it. In fact, no situation is unconquerable, if you think calmly and think differently. Most companies, bosses, people have a long list of ‘have to’s; and this makes them inflexible and failure as leaders, places to work and people. There are always alternative solutions that can be worked out, only if one cares to look, see or acknowledge them. We would all know of companies or bosses, who just had to have the employees in the office, who refused to understand, who were unwilling to be flexible. But now, what has happened? We are working from home. And it is working out. In fact, people are finding innovative ways to do the same things. A case in point is an employee of Mahindra First Choice, which deals with used cars. Obviously, they have to first inspect the car and make a report and then search a buyer for it.  Despite the lockdown, and without breaking it, he has sold a car – by making the most of available technology. People are running classes and courses on Zoom! You name the problem and people are finding solutions. In our personal space to, women are experimenting with recipes and people are finding ways to lighten their chores. So, bosses and people – understand, think, innovate and you will find the world a better place!

Lesson 5: Thankfulness: In life we take so much for granted - people, their contribution, their work etc. that we are rarely grateful and almost never show our gratitude. Additionally, some of us have a sense of entitlement or a misplaced sense that if we thank people for what they do, they will become proud and vain. Let us just look around – while we no doubt are stuck in a lockdown, we have a lot to be thankful for – a roof over our head, electricity, water, our family being with us, access to the internet etc. There are always people less privileged than us, so we need to understand that while our glass may be half full, at least we have something to drink! While working around the house, let us be thankful for our domestic help and learn not to complain about her little absences or inadequacies; let us focus on the value, instead of nit-picking and fault finding. Let us remember what a difficult job they are doing! Something that goes hand-in-hand and which is also important to remember is that – waste not, want not. Whether resources or food, we consume them and not use them. Let us learn their value and learn to use them more cautiously, so that they can last longer, not only for ourselves, but others. Let us be grateful for our access to family and things. I will end with an insight I got, from my 9 year old grandkid – Shaunak – when his parents were discussing that their annual holiday might not happen, as also a family get-together has been cancelled, his immediate response was, “Aai, the trip is all fine, but I am really sad about the family get together. I was so looking forward to being with family.” Time to learn this profound lesson from the mouth of babes! Let us learn to give more time as a sign of gratitude to what really matters – our family and friends!

All in all let us learn to focus on MERIT from here on Magnanimity, Essentialism, Resilience, Innovation and Thankfulness…..all the best in your journey towards MERIT!