Focus on What Matters

Today is always a good day to consider what you intend to do with the rest of your life. You could simply be thinking about what you plan to do different or better in the months and years ahead. Perhaps you've got relationships, work, kids, or something else in mind. Regardless, life is short. Yesterday is never coming back, and tomorrow never comes.

You have today. Perhaps your 'today' is now. Perhaps it'll be weeks from now. Or years. Whenever it happens to be, the remainder of your life will be the better for it. I've been fortunate to learn from men who helped me understand the power of today. They taught me the importance of self-awareness, the value in recognizing when it's time to make a change for the better. Hint: Sooner rather than later. Today. Now.

I will forever be indebted to them.

Whatever it is that you want to see improved in your life in the New Year and beyond, the first step toward achieving that shining new state is in recognizing that it is you who must make the improvement you want to see. That sounds trite on first hearing. But the truth of it has its own gravity. The phrase, 'If it is to be, it is up to me,' comes to mind. Tell yourself this every day if you must. You've heard it before...because it's true.

While I was in college, I worked 7p-7a shifts one summer in a Frito Lay plant. This was physically taxing work. You will never appreciate a lunch hour, until you've worked a 12-hour night shift with a 30-minute lunch break which requires a 10 minute walk from the line to the break room. My '30-minute' break consisted of 20 minutes of walking, and 10 minutes of sitting. I counted those precious minutes until I had to start my way back to the line. The person breaking everyone on the line expected you to step away and be back on time. The next person waiting for their break expected you to be on time too. And woe be unto the poor fool who failed to grasp this very important rule. 

If I needed to learn the value of being on time, I surely learned it then and there.

I also gained great respect for folks who make their living and support entire families on such work. Though I didn't quite appreciate it at the time, I was fortunate that summer to learn some hard-earned lessons from a great man-James Gordon Smith, a truck driver for Frito Lay. "Jimmy" treated me like his son in a critical moment in my life when I needed a father, and shared a very simple truth. "Son," he said, "in life, you will either work your back, or you will work your brain."

It took a while for that to sink in. I was proud and stubborn in my youth. But, over time, I came to realize-through much trial and error-that up to that point in my life no truer words had been spoken. That those words came from a man who proudly worked his back for his family-even though his wit and wisdom were second to none-made them all the more profound.

Those words have carried me far. And I've shared them with my own children. Many times. (Just ask them.)

Later on, as a professional with a career to think about, I was fortunate to learn from another great man. When I met Peter Dunn, I had arrived at a critical inflection point in my life. I was ready to take a step forward in my career, and he gave me the shot. But more importantly, he recognized that I was also ready (and very badly needed) to take a step forward in my life.

As if to underscore the lessons I learned that summer in the Frito Lay plant about the importance of punctuality, Peter would remind me, "If you're not five minutes early, you're late." He was full of sound advice.

Among the many things Peter taught me, potentially the most important was the unparalleled power of a positive attitude. Again, I was proud. Stubborn. But I was at least open. All that trial-and-error had taken me nowhere. Self-awareness has always been a strength of mine, so, while I might have given some of Peter's teaching the eye-roll, I kept an open mind. I wanted to be improved.

Another simple truth: In order to be better, you have to want to be better.

With Peter's help, I developed a mission. A purpose. I developed life-goals. Real ones. And I wrote them down on a 3x5 card (because he forced me to). Fast forward to today, and I've long-since achieved each and every one of those goals. Personal goals. Family goals. Professional goals. Even the income goal, which I considered unrealistically out of reach at the time. I'm a better person for it. I'm a better professional. More importantly, I'm a better husband and father as a result.

I still have that 3x5 card. Every once in a while, I take it out and think about the work that went into making those things happen. It was not easy. I've never asked for easy. Only possibility.

And it's with that thought that I hope to pay some of my fortune forward with you today. I've been blessed to know some amazing people like James and Peter. I hope one day someone will feel that way about me.

So, here's the best advice I can give you as you consider what you will become, what you will achieve, in the New Year:  Make. It. Happen.

Should you find yourself in a situation not of your choosing, first recognize that it's you who has to choose to find yourself a new situation. If you're feeling stuck in a job that isn't the work you want to be doing, or you believe you're not properly valued, sit down and make a list of the steps you can take to find new work that covers both bases. Start with step one. Start today. Now.

If you're in a relationship that's not working, think about what you want out of it. What part of changing that relationship can you control? Are you better off stepping away? If it's not the kind of relationship you can simply walk away from, focus on what matters. Focus on how you will handle your part of it. You may be surprised how often that causes the other party to reconsider how to handle theirs.

Regardless what it is you want to accomplish, improve, or achieve, know that it's in your grasp. Today is as good a day as any to reach for the changes you want to make. Start with step one. Keep going. Focus on what matters. Ignore every distraction.

Your friends will likely not appreciate this. Your family may not understand or support you. But what matters is this next simple truth: None of them will ever care about your goals as much as you. And besides, you can be a better friend, parent, child, or sibling when you're happy with you.

Happy New Year. May your next year be healthy, happy, and prosperous. If I can help you with any of that, let me know. I have a debt to pay forward.