Focus on what makes you happy!

I am often asked to lecture or hold workshops on personal efficiency for businesses and organizations. It is always lovely to meet people and discuss our challenges in balancing work and leisure.

In my 74 years of experience, I have learned that the key is to prioritize what is important over what is urgent. What is important has to do with personal, family, or the values we create at work.

It is values that make life worth living!

But if you are going to learn how to prioritize the activities you fill your time with, you first need to think about your goals — personally, in your family, and at work. Take out a piece of paper and a pencil, and jot down a few keywords describing the life situation you want to be in, for example, five years from today.

You can hang this note somewhere; you'll see it every day, preferably in the mirror, so you see it when you brush your teeth in the morning. The keywords will burn into your subconscious, and your actions will automatically align with these goals over time.

Give it a try — it works!

But then things get tough. We've set some goals and enthusiastically dive into the tasks. Yet after a while, we start postponing the activities and fall back into old habits.

Maybe we list things to do daily but don’t follow through once we’re halfway through. What’s happening? We’ve set up a system to be effective, but then it all falls apart…

We’ve forgotten that emotions are involved. You can have all the beautiful plans and systems you want. You can have reasonable, logical goals, a plan, and a list of manageable activities.

Yet, it still stops.

Our deep emotions play a much more significant role than many of us realize. When thoughts and ideas compete with emotions, the latter often wins. And the more we fight these emotions, the stronger they become.

The key is tapping into the good feelings that help you follow your plan. You'll need to align them with your ideas and goals.

I often put it this way:

When you speak to people’s heads, they understand what you're telling them. But when you talk to their hearts, you get them to take action!

When you set goals and make plans, you must ensure that they will give you a good feeling — that they genuinely reflect values that are important to you personally and that you are passionate about. Speak to your heart!

Just think about it:

Isn’t it true that the time you postpone a task is because you are reluctant? Do you have a negative feeling about the task?

And isn’t it true that the times you get work done quickly and almost hum to yourself with pure joy — yes, that’s when the task gives you a feeling of accomplishment?

Optimism is an emotion that helps. It is optimism toward the task, and especially toward the expected result. Just think how great everything will be when the job is done — then I will enjoy it!

It’s better to use a carrot than a stick. Decide what kind of reward you’ll give yourself when the task is done. Coffee and cake! A trip to the cinema with a particular person! A vacation you’ve been dreaming of! The bigger the goal you've achieved, the bigger the reward.

But there is also a "stick" you can use to motivate yourself. I haven't tried it myself, but it sounds both fun and motivating:

Could you agree with a friend or colleague? You give them 100 dollars. But if you’ve completed your task by 4:00 PM that day, you get your 100 dollars back. If not, they get to keep it!

That should do the trick!