Focus, Purpose & Finding Your Why
Emma Simpson, CPCC, PCC
Co-Founder at Institute of Positive Leadership | Founder at Change at Play | Certified Executive & Leadership Coach | Facilitator | CPCC | PCC
Hi everyone,
After the summer holidays, September can be a time to reset and recalibrate. A time to identify the goals and things you’d like to achieve before the end of the year. With just over 100 days left until the year-end, how will you spend this time?
For me, I typically have a long to-do list of all the things I want to check-off and achieve… and I still do. But this week I was inspired by Michael Bungay Stanier’s (MBS) newsletter where he shared nobel-prize winner Daniel Kahneman’s idea of “releasing the brake” versus pressing harder on the accelerator. It reminded me of the concept of slowing down to speed up, and it requires being intentional about what you will and won’t do, setting boundaries and mastering the art of saying no.
No easy feat, and for me and many, this requires a lot of focus and discipline.
My partner (who has witnessed the challenges I have with shiny object syndrome) recently sent me this video clip. It’s a video from an interview with Jony Ive, who was Apple’s Chief Design Officer for many years. In this interview, Jony shared some of the lessons he learned from Steve Jobs. One of those lessons being “focus”. Jony said “what focus means is saying no to something that with every bone in your body you think is a phenomenal idea, and you wake up thinking about it, but you end up saying no to it because you’re focusing on something else”.
To have a good chance of this, an awareness and understanding of our purpose or north star becomes paramount.
Dr. Ruth Gotian speaks to this in her book “The Success Factor, Developing the Mindset and Skillset for Peak Business Performance”. Ruth’s research found that intrinsic motivation - a north star, or unrelenting passion (the why we do what we do), is one of the core attributes that successful high-achievers share that allow them to achieve extraordinary success.
Finding that north star or purpose can be challenging. People think it has to be this one big thing, and a life-long focus, and this can be daunting. Mark Manson, author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”, humorously speaks to this in his blog…
“Part of the problem is the concept of “life purpose” itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it. This is the same kind of shitty logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 34 (but only on Tuesdays or during full moons).”
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Mark goes onto say…
“Here’s the truth. We exist on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them?are unimportant. And those important things?give our lives meaning?and?happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time. So when people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life purpose?” what they’re actually asking is “What can I do with my time that is important?”
I like this question as it helps to move past the overwhelm of trying to pick just one big thing that has to define our life.
Another approach is Simon Sinek’s WHY model popularized in his TED talk. Simon says “I believe fulfillment is a right and not a privilege. We are all entitled to wake up in the morning inspired to go to work, feel safe when we’re there, and return home fulfilled at the end of the day. Achieving that fulfillment starts with understanding exactly WHY we do what we do” His book Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team provides a framework to help you find your why and achieve more inspiration in your work.
Derek Sivers also encourages us to start with why. Derek, a writer, programmer, and founder of CD Baby, suggests that we determine what it is we want from the following list… is it money, prestige, fame, leaving a legacy or freedom. He says know what it is, focus on it and don’t diffuse your energy or focus on other things. Use that as YOUR measure and focus on that, not somebody else’s ideals.
Clarity around our north star, our why, can allow us to stay on track and keep going in the face of obstacles and setbacks. It can allow us to be intentional about where to place our focus, on what we’ll say yes to and what we can say no to. It can also be the driving force that keeps us going when fear or doubt shows up.
So three questions for you…