Focus on the doughnut, not the hole

Everyone has an inner critic. We have around 70,000 thoughts every day. 70% of them are negative. Most of those are the same thoughts we had yesterday.

Just think about that for a moment. We have the same 49,000 negative thoughts Every. Single. Day.

It’s a wonder any of us are able to function.

Those thoughts lead to the same negative feelings, which lead to the same unhelpful actions, and the same disappointing results.

Your thoughts are not facts.

Working on your mindset is not a quick fix. It takes time and practice — I’m only just getting started.

Here are a few techniques you can try:

?? Notice — what was the trigger for that thought. Write it down. Notice any patterns with curiosity, not judgement.

?? Name it — distance yourself from it and trivialise it. For example, say ‘ha, there’s my judge again, telling me I’m failing at this task, how interesting!’

?? Sensory focus — focus your attention on one of your senses. Rub your fingertips together for 20 seconds. Really focus on your fingers in as much detail as possible. Feel the texture and temperature.

It’s normal for your mind to drift. Notice that, and then come back to the sensory exercise.

You can do this every time you notice your negative thoughts. You can do it in meetings, on the train, anywhere.

It’s a mindfulness exercise that takes practice. The more you do it, the quieter the negative voices will become.

?? Move — do some star jumps. Run up and down the stairs. Hula hoop! Shake it off (sing it if it helps). Moving interrupts negative thoughts.

?? Appreciation #1 — read through positive feedback, emails or testimonials you’ve received. If you don’t already have a folder for these, create one now!

?? Appreciation #2 — send a message to a friend, telling them how much you love/appreciate them.

?? Gratitude — write down three things you’re grateful for every morning and every evening. Gratitude is a gremlin-killer.

You can have amazing goals, but unless you work on your mindset, nothing is going to change.

If you want to achieve your amazing goals ??

Focus on the doughnuts ??, not the holes ???.

(I made that up. I won’t give up the day job).

Try these techniques and let me know if any of them make a difference.

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P.S. I post about communications, careers and confidence most weekdays (around 8.30am). Ring the ?? on my profile page so you don’t miss a post. See you then?

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