Flirting with Retirement
Fausta Luchini
Trauma Sensitive Consultant and Coach. For compassionate professionals who want to keep doing the work that matters to them and the world. Reconnect. Explore your Strengths. Add Skills. Live from Your Heart
“In the?second half of life, the questions become: ‘Who, apart from the roles you play, are you? What does the soul ask of you? Do you have the wherewithal to shift course, to deconstruct your painfully achieved identity, risking failure, marginalization and loss of collective approval?’ No small task.” ?
-- James Hillman
Part of aging is about the option – the opportunity – or, eventually, the mandate, to let go and move on.? President Biden comes to mind these days when I think about this.? I hope that he is reveling in a sense of relief and new-found freedom, but who knows? ?
I am pretty deep in the process of letting go and moving on myself.? Not dying – not today, as far as I know.? But poised in the gap between 65, theoretical retirement age, and 70, truly old age, I am re-assessing my life, re-evaluating where I am and re-defining where I want to be. ?
“I did not live the kind of life that ends with a tidy nest egg for retirement. My life has been full of do-overs and u-turns, jobs left suddenly, career path changes, divorce, travel, and lots of adventure.”
-- Fausta Luchini
Honestly, my retirement plan was to win the lottery – that was Plan A.? Plan B was to just keep working til I dropped.? Neither one is a great plan; I don’t recommend either of them.? As I moved deeper into the “keep working til I drop” option, the less excited I was about it.
Plan C – my latest plan – is to retire somewhere I can afford to live on my retirement income.? Costa Rica or Mexico are my top contenders.? Picture me living in a village, riding my bike to the market every few days for fresh vegetables, living simply and spending time in nature…?
But I’m not going anywhere for a couple of years, so there’s time to figure out the where and all the hows.?
Having decided I’m not going to work forever, I began to question my efforts to build a big private practice as a life coach.? If I’m moving into true retirement soon, why would I do that?? I thought that was my path to making a difference in the world.? Then I started listing the things I already do. ?
I’m working part-time for Lyra Health, which offers mental health coaching, and I love having a steady flow of interesting and challenging clients.? I have some private coaching clients, and they are wonderful. ?
?But that’s not all I do.
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I’m not giving up any of that.? I would probably even say yes to new clients and new opportunities.?So what am I letting go of?
Marketing. I’m letting go of marketing.
I’m not trying to build a business, get new clients, or develop new concepts for coaching programs.??I started to say “not anymore,” but the truth is, I never did market my work consistently or well.? I’d get a great idea, develop a great plan – and stall, right there.
I’d scold myself for not doing more or doing it better.? I’d plan more and play with ideas, but you know, I still would not do it.? So I would have had to actually do more and do it better to make any real progress!? Instead, I became the Queen of Not-Following-Through.??
I could have chosen from a plethora of programs with different approaches that would taught me to procrastinate less. I could have gone to a therapist to figure out what’s wrong with me and try to fix it.? I could have hired a life coach to help hold me accountable.
Instead, I quit.? Often, we think that quitting means giving up, losing the dream.? We think it’s bad.? If we succeed, we win.? If we quit, we lose.
Nope.? With a huge sigh of relief, I let go of the whole thing.? No more of the “I have to build a business, I must market,” nonsense. It’s enough to enjoy the things I love to do.
That feels like a first step toward retirement, doesn’t it?? And a big step toward more of the life I want.
?
“There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.”
Ellen Goodman
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Chief Executive Officer at The Weedon Organization
5 个月I wish you all the best with retirement. You are fortunate to have the energy that enables you to do all the things you're doing now. Marian is like that -- boundless energy. When I retired, I needed to do it, and in my vocation, you really do need to make a clean break, which is painful but essential. My interests and ideas have changed. I don't think I could do the job now, and of course, I still miss it. I celebrate what I had. Most people never got the choices I did. I am grateful and humbled too. I live a totally different life now and I've come to really enjoy it.
Professor, Financial Advisor and Retirement Specialist
6 个月It is important to think about it and prepare yourself so that you are not forced into decisions. #retirement
Chief Executive Officer at The Weedon Organization
6 个月We are on the same wavelength. Mine was a bit more violent. My blood pressure wouldn't tolerate my life anymore. I had to quit and walk away. And then the Covid pandemic hit and there was all of that isolation. My whole life simply vanished. It has been really hard.
COO at NC Rural Economic Development Center Leadership. Innovation. Strategy. Operations. Leadership & Motivational Speaker
7 个月Fausta, This is GOOD! So many hidden gems in this article. Ellen’s quote is on point whether someone is retiring or not. “There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.”