Flirting in the age of #Me-too

(Flirty Greeting e.g.)

?He:?“Good morning sunshine!”

?She:?????????“Hello hottie!” ?

Flirting has a bad name. Too often, it seems a supreme form of duplicity, a sly attempt to excite another person and derive gratification from their interest without any corresponding wish to go to bed with them.

?It looks like a manipulative promise of sexual affection in our sadness, back home alone after the nightclub or the party, we may rail against the flirt for ‘only’ flirting, when it had appeared there would be so much more.

But this kind of pattern represents only one, unedifying and regrettable possibility around flirting. At its best, flirting can be a vital social process that generously lends us reassurance and freely redistributes confidence and self-esteem.

The task is not to stop flirting, but to learn how better to practice its most honorable versions.

Good flirting is in essence an attempt, driven by kindness and imaginative excitement, to inspire another person to believe more firmly in their own likability, psychological as much as physical.

It is a gift offered not in order to manipulate, but out of a pleasure at perceiving what is most attractive in another.

Along the way, the good flirt must carefully convince three apparently contradictory things: that they would love to sleep with us; that they won’t sleep with us; and that the reason why has nothing to do with any deficiency on our part.

Good flirting exploits – with no evil intent – an important truth about sex: that what is often most enjoyable about sex is not the physical process itself so much as the idea of acceptance that underpins the act, the notion that another person likes us enough to accept us in our most raw and vulnerable state and is, in our name, willing to lose control and surrender aspects of everyday dignity.

It is this concept, far more than the deft touching of skin that is what contributes the dominant share of our pleasure as we undress someone for the first time or heed their request to call them the rudest words we know

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?...??A casually dating scenario to a more serious dating relationship. Flirters are sometimes driven by the exploring motive. ... Sometimes we may flirt simply because it is fun or the interaction is playful

“You’ll make a great wife and mother.”

A wink, a coy

A subtle trick to see if he likes you is to give him a light touch. Simply touch his upper arm playfully or while you’re laughing and see how he reacts. He might not touch back, but if he does, you’ve definitely got the green light.

Men who are attracted to you might even engage in more touch. If a man actively tries to touch you during your interaction, it may mean he wants to get closer to you or close the distance between you two.

Watch his eye movements. Do they show eye dipping to “take you all in?”

In true attraction, a male will make lots of eye contact, with the occasional dip. Eye dips are when the eye moves in a triangle shape—from one eye to the other, for the most part, but occasionally they will “dip” down below the neck area.

Studies show that men will often gaze from face to breasts and the midsection if they are attracted to someone.

So if you catch him looking at the ground, he might actually be trying to take a quick glance at your body.

????Men have a really hard time noticing when someone is not interested.

Nope, not all that shocking. What is surprising is that most rejection comes from miscommunication and misunderstandings that happen during flirting.

Do you want to add a word or two?....

So, if you want to avoid that awkward did-he-just-touch-my-butt moment, here are some subtle body language tips you can use in bars to thwart unwanted advances:

Rejection

If you want to show someone you are not interested, the easiest thing you can do right away is turn your torso away from them. When we’re engaged with someone, we aim our torso toward them as a sign of respect. So if you’re not feeling it, an easy way you can show it is by aiming your torso away. This not only makes the distance between the two of you bigger, it also nonverbally says to them, “Step away.”

Shake Your Head No

Do you want to add a word or two?....

If the torso turn doesn’t work, the second thing you can try is shaking your head “no.” We shake our head from left to right when we don’t want something. You can do this while you’re speaking, as a way to nonverbally emphasize or bold your verbal no.

You can also nod negatively while they’re speaking. So if they say, “Hey, you want to dance?” or “I’d love to get your number,” you can start shaking your head no right away, and that already tells them, “Ah, I’ve crossed a line.”

Your comments........?

Say It Like You Mean It

Sometimes when women are nervous, they use the question inflection. This inflection is when the voice goes up at the end of a sentence.

Instead of saying, “I don’t want to dance!” they say, “I don’t want to dance?”

Cross Your Limbs

You want to tell them, “No,” instead of, “Go!” and this means closing your body off-limits. An open body, with relaxed arms and legs, invites them closer, so I want you to think of a closed door versus an open one. It’s much harder to get through a closed door because of the barriers–and that’s exactly what you need to create:

???Cross your legs. Point your knees and toes away from them if you’re sitting. Make sure not to become unbalanced—you want to stand on firm ground and show them you really mean it.

?Couples who are attracted to each other will smile around each other, but if you’re trying to push someone away, you wouldn’t be smiling, right?

And if you’ve already got the stone-face body language or resting bitch face going on, why not add in the pursed lip?

This is the stern mother’s way of saying, “Don’t you dare take another step.” Add in other negative facial micro expressions like disgust, contempt, or anger for that extra oomph.

He gets it. You get it. Everyone gets it. Win-win!