Flirt, Come on You Know You Want To

After reading yet another sexy issue of Cosmopolitan, I got to thinking. What exactly is all this talk of sex and being sexy doing for us? By now we know what all guys want in bed, what girls want, every kind of fantasy and all the little tricks to turn all of us on, but is it really making our love lives more satisfactory. That I don't know about. What I do know is that while everyone is reading about sex and being sexy, it certainly is not showing on the streets. While everyone is trying to be sexy, where is the simplest part, flirtation?

I must tell you I am a late blooming flirt. When I was young and single, I was too shy and self-conscious to flirt or to even notice if someone flirted with me. It was a very sad time. Of course, life decided to play one of its cruel jokes after I got married. I became flirtatious. I'm not a big flirt, but I do like to from time to time. For me flirting is just a bit of fun, a little appreciation of another person and I get the same from it. I don't believe in cheating, in fact I abhor it, so for me flirting is purely innocent and just for fun. Is there anything wrong with that?

Innocent Flirting? Yeah, why not? But what is innocent flirting? It’s the little looks and smiles that show us that we're attractive to one another. It’s the conversations where jokes are told that may not be that funny, but seem to be at the time. It's body language that we do subconsciously in attempts to be noticed. Seems like a funny thing to be worried about, but we all know instinctively why we do it. The step between flirting and an affair is up to us and that step is only taken when we want to take it. We are above animals, although sometimes have I wonder just how above (I am still waiting for anthropologists to describe a new species of man, Macho Erectus. They are usually observed in groups and can be identified by their calls which are mainly heard on Saturday nights or after football matches. Their behavior can be described as being somewhat more advanced than a dog but not quite to the intelligence of a small child.)

Flirting is good for us. It's safer than sex and cheaper than a gym. It raises our heart rate, eases stress and improves our mood. It’s a good alternative for those of us who don't have time for any other kind of exercise, well this may not all be true but it sure feels that way. Flirting with people we meet throughout the day also connects us to the world outside our lives. It helps to make new friends and we all know we can never have enough friends.

Why is something that makes us feel so good considered so bad? That answer is very easy. Society has not advanced that much. We haven't advanced form the ideas such as, flirting is being unfaithful as it is the first step to cheating, as well as insecurity and jealousy, should we find someone else attractive. Of course, if these feelings are apparent when a partner innocently flirts, the relationship is bound to fail anyway.

Aside from all of that, let's make life a little more exciting. When I walk around, I can't help but to think we're all stuck in a rut. Why aren't we having more fun? Why aren't we all living the fun sexy lifestyle that we are supposed to be living? How does this generation that has all the opportunities for being the most fun, sexy, honest, open and exciting generation move from only looking the part and to start living it? That's where flirting comes in. We are bombarded with the ideas of being sexy, dressing sexy and everything else sexy, but I'm not sure sex is exactly what we want. We're past the sexual revolution. Sex is sex and it should stay where it belongs. Being a flirt means being sexy but being sexy doesn't mean being a flirt. That's where the trouble is. The exciting sexy that I believe that we want has nothing to do with how we look but how we act with each other and flirting is a major part of that excitement. The difficult thing that we all know is that it is much easier to change your appearance but not your personality. But whoever said that getting what you wanted was easy.

The important thing to recognize is that I am only talking of innocent flirting. There's no need for me to go into picking someone up. I've never been very good at that anyway. I'm talking of a kind of flirting where there is neither a need for jealousy nor any need to hide your flirting. I'm talking of flirting that can take place not only by singles but also by couples, who still enjoy the excitement but are confident in their relationships. Concepts of good relationships are changing all the time. Our parents considered loyalty and commitment to be more important to our ideal of honesty and equality. The excitement of flirting and having the confidence in your relationship is as sexy as you can get and it shows. As the song goes, "you can dance, but don't forget who's taking you home and in whose arms you're going to be, save the last dance for me." There's nothing wrong with enjoying life while being someone's only one.

Personal note:

Flirting, excitement, being sexy, being happy, love, lust, good sex, better sex, great sex, living the good life, living a good life, feeling like a supermodel, being made to feel like a supermodel, being loved in that special way and showing love in that special way are all things I believe we all want in one way or another. A few of them we can get on our own and a few we need someone to help us with. While we're trying to achieve these things let's not forget that everyone else is trying to achieve the same. And just think of how great it would be if we achieved them together.