Flight, fight or freeze: how do you handle your challenges at work? (oh, and have you signed up for fifty50 MindCoach LIVE yet?)

Welcome to the latest edition of "Thank God It’s Monday!" the newsletter designed to get you moving from awareness to action on all things mental fitness & wellbeing.

Welcome to 2023, and a very Happy New Year to you all!

Am I the only one who feels like the break was a lifetime ago? After possibly the most hectic run-up to Christmas I've had in several years, I really did enjoy being in the moment with my son, our new pet bunny Sweep & spending time with my loved ones over the holidays. It was a welcome break from a hugely busy year; sometimes, doing nothing is just what the doctor ordered. Country walks, pub fires, overindulging with Netflix, playing make-believe games with my son, "talking" as the voice of every toy he has (Teddy and Sweep are his favourites; imagine being woken up at 6 am to "Good Morning Mummy, talk Sweep! What is he saying!?"). Memories made & I'm hugely grateful for the opportunity to spend time together.

I also spent some time working as January is a busy month for us with the launch of fifty50 MindCoach LIVE & I'm good with this. I run my own business, so work is a big part of who I am. It's my passion, my love, and it's the impact we create that keeps the fire burning in my belly. I love spending time on fifty50, and we've lots of exciting plans for this year to help you support workplace wellbeing.

Wellbeing, not welldoing.

Feeling healthy and happy comes to mind when we talk about #wellbeing .? And, let’s face it, this is what we all want! There are many components to wellbeing, including social, physical, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual. When my wellbeing is high, I’m often experiencing a blend of the following:

• feeling part of a community with a sense of belonging
• exercising regularly, and feeling physically fit
• ability to control emotions and keep thoughts in check
• the mental space to be creative?
• feeling positive about life, feeling happy and laughing a lot
• reacting less and creating more

In a working context, we often get dragged into the doing rather than the being. We are accustomed to pushing our emotions, specifically our negative thinking and feeling, to one side, in an attempt to create space to do our job “better”. If we don’t think about it, it will go away. Or will it?

Living through these past few years has seen us work differently, work smarter (for many, this means doing the same, or more, in less time) and allocate huge energy to just getting through each week and month. We have been faced with an onslaught of global health and geo-political crises and the subsequent knock-on effect on global #mentalhealth . It's unsurprising that workplace wellbeing is very low.

Being in a state of hyper-alert for almost three years has taken a toll. We’ve been in a heightened state of awareness and living in the “red zone”, which sparks a different chemical composition in our body, where we’re hardwired to react and respond immediately. This hypervigilance creates stress and impacts our nervous system, resulting in a knock-on effect on how we think, feel, and respond to everyday life.?

With our collective resilience low, and the once stretchy band of bouncebackability now feeling a little floppy, it’s a stark reminder to invest in finding ways to slowly build back our tolerance to change and challenge, building mental fitness and ensuring our cup is full, first and foremost. Then it’s time to focus on family and our teams.?

Flight, fight or freeze?

Let me ask you a question. When you’re experiencing challenges that occupy headspace, how do you “handle” this when you go to work? Do you:

1. FLY: place the thoughts and feelings to one side, and get to work on your day job with no distractions.
2. FIGHT: acknowledge there are issues you need to address and take action in the present moment.
3. FREEZE: spend hours ruminating over what’s happening and struggle to focus at work.

Flight links to #compartmentalisation . For some, this will involve shelving the problem or challenge until there is an appropriate time and place to handle what is going on for them. Getting into this now, during work time, is simply not an option. Think about the surgeon performing life-saving surgery; absolute mental focus is required, and there is no room for emotion. Here, compartmentalising is not just a valuable skill; it’s critical to survival.

Freezing can result when you feel trapped and held hostage to your thinking and feeling. Do you recall Dr Jill Bolte Taylor's finding that a 90-second chemical process happens in the body, and after that, it's a person's choice to stay in an emotional loop? Our physical body feels what our brain thinks - so if we think negative, disturbing, distressing thoughts all day long, this will impact how we feel. We’ll feel tired, stressed, and achy from the tension, limiting our performance in and out of work.

Most of us flit between all three, depending on the context. Be aware that freezing can be draining and result in #presenteeism , so here are a few tips to try to compartmentalise when you think you can't:

1. Break the state: create physical and mental distance from your thoughts and feelings
2. Move your body: ideally, outside the house or office, get some fresh air into your lungs and walk.
3. Occupy your brain with something completely different: think of cognitive tasks such as a crossword.
4. Be in the moment: yoga stretches, and breathing exercises work well.
5. List your worries: place them in a jar (great to do with children), or journal, then tackle them one by one in structured worry time that you set aside each day, week or frequency that works for you.
6. Take action, one step at a time, to handle the worries and work towards removing them.

Better later than never.?

Compartmentalising is a highly effective coping mechanism that can support high performance. But it is not sustainable. When does “later” become too late?

Pushing emotions to one side for an extended period of time is like trying to close a door on water. It will find a way. It will push its way through the cracks. As pressure mounts, it will wear down the door to the point that it will be forced open, and the water will come flooding in. Before you know it, you’re underwater, struggling for air at best, drowning at worst.?

To tune in when you're not addressing your "laters" or perhaps it's a member of your family or team, you'll note the following red flags:

• Emotional outbursts
• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability
• Worrying all the time

It is, of course, difficult to spot some of these in others; regular check-ins help, along with plenty of unstructured talking time where people are free to share what is coming up for them openly. Conversations can be led in a direction; for example, as a manager, I could share challenges around sleeping and feeling worried and open the door for my team to follow suit. Active listening will help you pinpoint areas where people may be struggling, and you can make a mental note to revert and support.

What’s causing the worry?

While our situations are unique, the biggest challenges we’re facing right now regarding workplace wellbeing are common among us all.

Navigating hybrid working, overwhelm, isolation, anxiety, imposter syndrome, role clarity, career pathways, communication confusion, job insecurity, financial strain, and low motivation all feature high on the worry agenda.

Since we started trading in April 2021, we’ve undertaken thousands of #mentalfitness coaching sessions. We're in a privileged position to understand what's really going on for people, and we use this information to help us better understand how we can support people at work.

We have a preventative solution for you...

As a result of this, and the many requests we get from our partners to provide more support and resources in between coaching sessions, this month we launch our new subscription service, fifty50 MindCoach LIVE , which gives all of your people access to live, preventative support for mental wellbeing.?

We’ve created a content-rich calendar capturing the key wellbeing dates (#internationalwomensday , #mentalhealthawarenessweek , #mensmentalhealth #menopauseawareness ) along with intel from our experience of coaching C-Suite to the front line. The calendar offers something for everyone in your business, and we’d love you to join the thousands of people ready to take proactive action to build mental wellbeing and #resilienceatwork .?

The service is a flat fee of ￡125 + VAT per month.

We start on the 31st January at 1pm GMT for a session on navigating loneliness in a hybrid working world, so please get in touch with me to request the full calendar for 2023 and more information on how to subscribe .

I'm acting on feedback and moving to two newsletters per month, so I'll be back on the 30th with my next edition of #thankgoditsmonday .

Have a great couple of weeks!

Best, Cam :)