F...k, I got triggered yesterday!!!

Hello my dear friends,

I’m really hoping you’re in a good place and life is bringing some deliciously amazing learnings your way.

It did bring a massive learning to me yesterday and I want to share it with you because EVERY SINGLE one of us experiences what I’ve experienced yesterday.

I got REALLY triggered yesterday.

I don’t get triggered a lot these days. I actually can’t remember when I got triggered last time. Certainly not the way I got triggered yesterday. That’s why it is even more important for me to pay attention to it.

I got triggered by a friend who plays a very important role in my life. The trigger was not intentional. I received a little innocent fun video, like you share with your friends. A silly little reel.

Only that as soon as I saw it, my blood went right up my brain and I wanted to punch the wall.

If you were on my Immersion last week on a Day 3 – we spoke about handling emotions which is an EXTREMELY important part of our healthy and balanced mental and physical health.

I certainly had an opportunity to put my own teachings into practice yesterday.

***

I did not punch the wall but I went to the gym. The trigger was very powerful. I felt it in my core. I needed to move and let the energy out before I started addressing it. ?

I know that when I am triggered – it has ZERO % to do with the person who I think “caused” the trigger. And it has 100% to do with me. The trigger is pointing at my own internal situation.

When we are triggered like that – it’s not an easy thing to accept. Our default reaction wants to go into blaming the other person, people, situation. In my case – I swore a lot, yelling at my phone??.

I even (once again, very much unlike me) sent an attacking reply back to my friend who (very wisely because it’s a person with a very strong self-awareness) did not react. It was clear I needed my time to process.

After I came back from the gym, I cried a lot. Pain the trigger caused needed to go out. Gym was not enough. Sadness came. Hurt came. ?

Video evoked the feelings of being disrespected, not being good enough, being rejected, feeling violated, betrayed, ignored.

It was literally a 4 second video which you would find hilarious.

But our subconscious functions from a different place. Our subconscious is programed with certain programs which get created between the age of 0-7 and those programs often run our lives.

As a matter of fact, most of the time they run our lives. 95% of our behavior comes from our subconscious. 95%!!!! It basically means that we run from the place of autopilot – not realising we run from the place of autopilot.

This particular trigger has been running my life until like 5 years ago – without me realising it. I have done A LOT of work in this area of my life to process it. But it will always be there. It will always want to bring the familiar patterns back into my life. Particular feelings and emotions.

As it did yesterday.

However. Today I know it is JUST my subconscious pulling out stories which are so ingrained in me that they will from time to time (out of nowhere) want to run my life again.

NO, thank you.

And what does it mean when we feel disrespected, not being good enough, being rejected, feeling violated, betrayed, ignored. (or anything else that might come up for you?)

In very short and simplified explanation:

It means that I don’t respect myself, I believe I am not good enough, I am rejecting myself, I am ignoring my own needs, I am not paying attention to myself.

NOT the other person. ME.

Yup – hard to swallow and digest. It would be so much easier to blame my friend – which I momentarily did when I sent that message and then apologised for it afterwards.

We get triggered because we do not feel whole ourselves.

These triggers will be coming up – it’s a lifelong work and F…K – does it hurt!!

And yet – it’s a beautiful opportunity to self-explore, go deep, cultivate the most important relationship we will ever have – a relationship with ourselves.

No-one to blame. Not ourselves, not our parents, friends, spouses, children. No one.

Simply paying attention to our own patterns, beliefs, triggers. With love, compassion, kindness. ?

***

This is a core work I do with my clients.

And yesterday I went into my own pain – just to hold myself tighter, to assure myself that I am not rejecting myself, I am enough, I am lovable, I am not being ignored by myself, I am not betraying myself.

I am here for myself. I love myself exactly as I am. And I hold that little girls asking for my own attention. I am here for her.

***

If you are often run by your triggers, it’s time to turn the mirror inward. It has nothing to do with your outside environment.

You might want to say right now: “BUT…”

Stop yourself right there. I know it feels like somebody else is hurting you.

But they are not. It’s your own pattern running your life. It's your PERCEPTION of their action.

It’s time to take responsibility for that pattern and dive deep. Once again, with love, tenderness and patience.

A life-long journey my friends. The most beautiful one.

Coming back to who we were born to be.

***

As Peter Crone says:

“Life presents us with people and situations where we are not free.”

Life presented me with a situation like that yesterday. It was a hard day yesterday and I am grateful for it.

***

Reach out to me for your 1-2-1 coaching on your triggers and start discovering where you can free yourself from your unwanted patterns, pain and stuckness.

Take responsibility and allow me to hold that space for you.

Safely, with much love and in your own speed.

Festive Season often brings many triggers. Let’s start our work this side of Christmas so that you can align your awareness and feel into the opportunities that the time with your family offers. ?

Reach out for your free 1-2-1 session before committing to your paid coaching.

This is the most important work you will ever do in your life.

With so much LOVE,

Michaela xx