Fixing The Fear of Failure (simple steps)

The major problem with the fear of failure is the ability for fear itself to always be rational to the individual. 

Think of what you are scared of, there is always a rational reason, at least to you , of why it makes sense to be fearful.I’ll be quite honest with you, I am fearful of roller coasters and rides that you know can potentially catapult me out of the sky and kill me if anything goes wrong! See, even right there in explaining my fear I was already justifying why my fear is rational.

99.99% of fear is rational. It makes sense! God designed us to have fears. It is a defense mechanism, a mode of survival, it keeps us alive. Fear can be positive in some cases, but fear is never positive when it is limiting your potential.

A 2011 study published by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, asked two groups of college students to write about what lay in store for the coming week. One group was asked to imagine that the week would be great, the other group was simply asked to write down any thoughts about the week that came to mind. The students who were asked to imagine the week would be great reported feeling less energized and went on to accomplish less during the week than the control group.

So this clearly shows that positive thinking alone is not enough. Research has shown that the best outcomes are created when we balance positive thinking with visualizing the future obstacles and struggles we will encounter. Positive thoughts are great, but they do not fix the problem of fear.

So how do we get the results that we want when it comes to overcoming fear of failure? The first step is acknowledging the scared little kid inside of you that Pierre referred to on the last episode of the Build Your Vision Podcast. Avoiding the feeling of fear is not the answer, embrace that you, in fact, are afraid.

English writer and philosopher Aldous Huxley one said, “Most ignorance is evincible ignorance. We don't know because we don't want to know.” Awareness and acknowledgment are things that seem easy but so often are the key contributor of being stuck in fear. This is the case, not because fear is difficult to discover, but because we often do not look at ourselves in the mirror.

I want you to write down what specific fear of failure is potentially holding you back from reaching your goals and vision. Be honest with yourself, brutally honest. No one is going to see this but you.

For example, I had a fear of calling myself vision-actualization coach and podcaster to people outside of my immediate circle. I would often down-play what I did or rather explain some other facet of my career. I first realized that I had a problem. I was no longer going to continue making excuses or justifying my behavior. I have realized that I was doing a certain action that I was not proud of and the root of that action was fear.

Now I needed to ask myself WHY? Why am I afraid? There is always a reason, fear doesn’t appear from thin air. Even if it sounds silly, even if it emotionally hurts, write down why you are afraid. We are diagnosing the illness not the symptoms.

My reason for being afraid was that I thought some people would not take me seriously. "What if people think I’m too young?", I would say to myself. Deep down inside I honestly felt imposter syndrome. Who am I to call myself a coach? Am I even qualified enough? I didn’t have a bunch of clients and I wasn't proud of my online presence. What if I they look me up on google and think I’m a joke!? 

These were all the reasons why I was afraid, but I didn’t realize this until I took the time to ask myself the right questions and write it down. Sometimes we can cover our fears with blanket statements like “insecurity, phobia, or being soft”. Even if that is true, the real reason is more detailed than one word. Get into the REAL reason. 

Now that you know the reason, let's see if we can find some answers. How do we solve this problem of fear? Is it even solvable? In the context of fear of failure, yes, there is usually a solution. The solution is usually pretty simple, not easy, but simple.

I really want you to try your hardest on this part, and I know you are smart because you’re reading this article, so I know you got this. 

Provide a solution to fix the reasonings for your fear. I know that sounds kind of weird but it really is life changing if you try. For example, I came up with reasons why being young is an advantage in my field and I can clearly express that to others who inquire about my age. I asked myself, "if people do not take my career seriously, does that affect my financial or physical well-being?" No it doesn’t! So whatever they THINK shouldn’t have an impact on me. Now of course we do crave the affirmation and respect of other human beings, it's in our nature. But those who take the time to understand and respect what I do are the people who’s opinions I care about. Those who don’t, their respect and affirmation was inauthentic and shallow anyway. 

This is the kind of thought processing I am suggesting and I hope you are grasping my point. I made sure that I got my website professionally designed so that I would no longer have the fear of people laughing at my online footprint. I took immediate action to resolve my fears at the root of their reasoning. Some of these solutions will be immediate and some will take time, but the confidence you feel from knowing that you are moving in the right direction will definitely change how you feel and will alleviate some if not all of that fear of failure. 

If you want to discuss this topic any further always feel free to message me on LinkedIn or on my website.