Fix your energy.
Jerome Arab
Founder & CEO at Underrated Individuals | Creative Strategist | Business & Life Coach | Award-winning African Producer
(Content Warning: I talk about suicide early)?
Let me take you back to one of the lowest points in my life. I spent five years grinding in a foreign country, for three and a half of those years I was homeless. I had no paperwork to get legal work so I was doing the odd cash in hand job to survive. I would sometimes sleep on the Studio 25 couch in Manchester and help out with the maintenance to get food. I worked in a karaoke bar, a cafe, a strip club, a restaurant and a night club but was always scrambling to get ahead of myself.
This period of my life was so hard that even when I had a love interest the idea of not having anywhere to take them after the date or explain to them that I had no home, made me anxious about dating in the first place so I became more self conscious and less confident. Because of the lack of paperwork I could never get a good job despite my qualifications in TV and Film. The best paying job I found was at the strip club, I would DJ for four to five hours and make seventy pounds/UK sterling a night. It may have been the best paying, but it was also the most uncomfortable set up. I met some amazing people in that space. One person I will never forget about is Tanya. She was one of the stripper’s there and she helped me settle in. But regardless of her kindness and care, she committed suicide. She had all the time in the world for others. She made me comfortable in a room full of half naked women. It is not easy to walk into that situation, filled with sex work, drugs, and alcohol - the list goes on. But Tanya was able to remind me that this was not the end of my journey, just a chapter in my book. I wish she’d known that about her own life. Her words began to ring even louder in her passing, and I remember my energy shifting.
I started to think about the next chapter and what I wanted for my life, I started to look for options out of the situation I was in. I began to fight to make things change. I wanted to go back to Africa to sort out my paperwork because I needed papers to get ahead. So I started to look into going back and deportation was an option, but I also heard about getting a travel document to get back home. I could go into details, but I’ll leave that for the biography. In the end, I hustled for my flight fare and the British Border Agency returned my passport to me as I boarded my flight back. I remember handing my passport to them 5 years prior, with a skip in my step and hope in my heart, and here I was, tail between my legs, broken, receiving it back feeling truly defeated. Sometimes things have to completely fall apart for you to realise they need fixing.
The energy shift made me look for all the possible ways to better my life. By flying back home to Zimbabwe I would get rid of the homeless problem in one flight. I would be in a country where I was allowed to earn money legally which meant I would not get exploited by individuals trying to save money or dodge taxes (not everyone was like this, but there were two or three people that actually took advantage of my situation and I don’t blame them). And, it meant I could be around loving, caring people who loved me regardless of my situation, my parents. When I was in England struggling, I had contemplated suicide on several occassions but somehow God managed to save me again and again. I needed the energy shift that came about after Tanya's passing and this shift made me realise that rather than waiting for everything to go bad you can make sure it gets better by being purposeful in action to shift your energy.
How to fix your energy
? Remind yourself daily, what your goals/dreams are. (This is your Personal Mission Statement)
You are what you spend most of your time thinking about. There are a number of really good ways to do this and here are a few of the ones that served me well:
- Vision board if you use your computer daily, make an illustration with all the things you want for your life. Your dream self, house, company name, bank amounts, whatever you want to put in. Save it as your screensaver or desktop background. You could use old magazines if you are a physical kind of person and do the same. Hang it in your room near your mirror. Basically somewhere you get to see it daily.
- Another way is to buy a journal and write out 10 - 15 major goals you want to achieve. Do this every day for 2-3 months without looking at the previous page. This will first help you solidify what it is you want and this exercise will automatically help you shift your energy.
? Remind yourself that life is a book and is full of different chapters and constantly ask yourself what is the purpose of the chapter you are in.
I suggest you do this whenever you feel stuck and when all is going well too. In other words, all the time. This helps you constantly look at what you can or need to learn from life at that particular moment. It is also a way of staying sane and humble. You will begin to see the self-aware people in your circle and this is a great way to move when you do not have a mentor. Simply asking what is the point of all this helps you skip past all the madness and focus on solutions, which in turn builds a positive energy.
Throwback: During a four year period from 2008 to 2012 in Manchester, my music career seemed to be on pause yet I was still working. I was putting stuff out but was lucky to get 5 views and this started to get to me. I decided to pull back and first understand how the industry works. I had only used YouTube to watch music videos and it had never crossed my mind to start looking there. In 2016 I spoke to my then girlfriend, Namvula, who is now my wife, about how she did things. She shared her distribution platform details (DITTO) with me and helped me set up an account. She helped me set up my PRS. Then I spoke to another artist I had access to because of mutual friends, Jay Rox. He basically said take control of your production, make a record, shoot a video and get it out there. This sounds simple and easy but I wasn’t asking the right questions even as I tried all the
advice that people in the industry shared. That chapter in my life was a major turning point looking back because I started to learn again. All my pride was out the window and I even began to read between the lines in industry conversations. For example, seeing the differences between Africa and the western world in how their industries worked, but instead of feeling stuck when I wasn’t seeing the numbers, I began to ask how the numbers work. Looking for the lessons made me work smarter. And always reminded me that I had the power to make the next chapter better.
? Do the things you are good at, to eventually do the things you love.
Always make time for your hobbies, the things you are good at, and the things and people that love you. I am sure you have heard about making time for yourself to read, or paint, or play football but make time for things or people that love you. These things breed an energy that is infectious. When you feel like you are the centre of attention, it shows in a way that you cannot hide. Think about it this way, you go on a date and the other person is fully engaged. They are fascinated by your line of work, compliment your attire and smile at you at every given chance. When you get home after that date your housemates say that you are glowing. Yes, that is the thing I am talking about. Make time for your pet, your children, your loved ones and lovers. Surround yourself with that energy because that energy, like sunshine, will make you happy and that will help you fix your energy. Going back to Zimbabwe put me back in a space where I was genuinely loved and it showed. I strongly suggest that you make time for the things that you are good at because people will praise you for them and that in itself will make you happier. That is pretty much how singing became part of my life, the comments people would pass or the feedback I would get always made me feel good and I realised this could be something I do for life, plus you don’t get paid for things you suck at.
? Healthy living
Try and exercise daily but also eat more unprocessed foods. Raw vegetables, plentiful fruit, nuts and seeds are all easy elements to add to your day that make you feel better instantly. Besides these things all being good for you, the benefits physically are hard to ignore. Over time your energy levels climb and your body becomes more in tune with it's natural mould. All this does is boost your confidence and make it easy for you to wake up daily and move.
I was not really the healthiest in terms of diet but I trained hard in my younger years and it showed, but now with two kids and all the career paths I have ventured into I get an eighth of the workout time I used to and so I have started to clean my diet. My diet has helped me through a lot of tough times and my weight and physique have not really changed much over the past ten years. I am not as built but I don't look or feel bad about my body. I share that because it is probably the easiest place to start if you want to fix your energy.
Fixing your energy means you put yourself in a head space that is ready to make life happen regardless of the situation. If you are good and as we say on the continent of Africa, "unshakable" then everything works, life grants you favour.?