Five Years of Struggle and Growth: My Journey Through Mental Health Challenges

Five years ago, I was floating—both mentally and physically—with no idea where I was going, where I wanted to go, or what to do. I was sitting and drifting in a cove, writing about my struggles with mental health.

Five years ago, I left management consulting and was just focusing on finishing my MBA. I was in the worst place I had ever been mentally. Work had burned me out. My decisions (and lack thereof) had burned me out. And I had no clue what to do. All I could think about was disappearing. Suicidal ideation consumed most of my thoughts.

Life was dark. I was struggling badly. Despite all surface appearances showing so many accomplishments to be proud of, I was near rock bottom, and I thought I had no way out.

Five years ago, I was taking life week by week, day by day, and sometimes hour by hour, moment by moment, trying to grasp my purpose and contemplating why I shouldn’t take my own life.

With time, I learned that day by day was okay. I gave myself a break from the never-ending pressures of the future and just existed from moment to moment.

Slowly, very very slowly, I found myself further from rock bottom by the day. But it was a damn struggle. Every day was a struggle to keep going.

Four years ago, I finished my MBA and found myself in a brand-new role, excited and invigorated by learning about sales, marketing, and all things intelligent automation.

Three years ago, I was back in consulting, leading intelligent automation projects and designing cutting-edge products for the hospitality industry.

Soon after, I drove across the country and moved, hoping to find meaning and purpose along the way. A move that led me to meeting the love of my life and moving to St. Thomas, USVI.

Two years ago, I got engaged, bought a condo, and adopted the best Black Lab puppy in the world.

One year ago, I got married to my best friend, joined Evergreen Services Group and the world of private equity, and rediscovered that I’m capable of so much more.

This past year, I’ve celebrated 10+ months as the CEO of Infonancial and built a home with my wife.

There are still days that I battle with demons and struggle with myself.

There are still days when it’s tough to get out of bed.

I don’t think I’ll ever fully overcome mental health issues.

But over time, I’ve won battle after battle.

With time, I’ve learned to coexist with the demons.

I’m sure there will be dark days in the future.

And I’ve learned that the rain and thunderstorms make the sun seem so much brighter.

If you’re struggling, I hear you.

I see you.

I’ve been to a similar place.

And so have so many others.

You're not alone.

Be patient with yourself.

Give yourself the power of time.

And know that it’s okay if you need to take things week by week, day by day, hour by hour.

If you need to talk to someone or you feel stuck, reach out—I’m happy to connect, share my story, and see how I may be able to help.

It’s weird and a bit scary being this vulnerable, especially within a space that seems all too often hyper-focused on successes and wins, but I hope it reaches people who are struggling and reminds leaders that you may be managing and leading those who are struggling as well.

About the Author:

Tucker Sholtes is the CEO of a Canada-based Infonancial Solutions, a software and solutions company focused on Credit Unions and unlocking financial products for their members. Passionate about mental health advocacy, Tucker shares his personal experiences to inspire others to embrace vulnerability and seek support. Connect with Tucker on LinkedIn to follow his journey and join the conversation on mental health and well-being.