Five Ways Workplace Boundaries Saves Lives and Boost Careers

It’s no secret that as Black women, we are expected to take on more at work and do it with a smile. This shows up as taking on additional work commitments often without an increase in pay. There is an unspoken expectation for us to always say yes to more responsibility even if it means sacrificing our mental health. In my forthcoming book, I talk about how the toll of overworking and constantly tending to others caught up with me. I was chronically fatigued, and my body developed multiple?tumors as a result. It was a wake-up call, and I knew that my body was crying out for care and attention. As Audre Lorde wisely noted, "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation."?

Today, I want us to have a little chat about healthy boundaries and how they can be your saving grace at work. My favorite definition of boundaries is by Nneka M. Okona, she says:

“Boundaries are the space between you and another person, a space where you end and the other person begins. Setting boundaries is a method of informing those around you how to treat you, how to care for you, how to interact with you in a way that is nurturing, fulfilling and makes you feel safe. It isn’t about forming a tight fence around your inner being. It is about ensuring you feel free enough to be yourself, in totality, with those you bond with, and interactions are healthy, reciprocal and beneficial. And also that your values are acknowledged, honored and respected.”

Disclaimer: Before we dive into the art of setting boundaries, let's make one thing clear: speaking up is essential. Self-advocacy is the key here. If you tend to be a people-pleaser, consider enlisting the help of a therapist or coach because sacrificing your own needs to please others isn't serving you anymore, Sis.

So let’s begin with a few boundaries you can start to practice at work this week.?

1. Decline meetings where your presence isn't necessary

Most modern workplaces thrive on a culture of urgency and relentless grinding that can wreak havoc on our nervous systems as Black women. We are no strangers to juggling multiple responsibilities and we can particularly feel the pressure to attend every meeting, whether essential or not. However, here's where a crucial shift in mindset is needed. The way we turn the tables is through reclaiming our time (thank you Auntie Maxine!) and prioritizing our own needs, starting with your calendar.?

2. Take your one hour lunch break.

It may seem simple, but taking that full one-hour lunch break is a fundamental act of self-care. All too often, we? find ourselves eating at our desks or working through breaks thinking that doing so, others will recognize our hard work. Sometimes working through lunch is part of the workplace culture so we’re conditioned to skip taking breaks. But the lunch break isn't just for nourishing your body; it's a mental refresher, a moment of solace in the midst of a busy workday. By reclaiming this time, you're sending a clear message to yourself and your colleagues that your well-being matters.

3. Opt for 30-minute meetings whenever possible.

Let's face it; not every meeting requires an hour or more. When I realized this, my meeting schedule looked a lot more spacious and I didn’t have to dread hour-long meetings anymore. By advocating for shorter, more concise meetings, you're not only respecting your time but also encouraging greater efficiency. We often find ourselves navigating various responsibilities, and this simple adjustment can make a significant difference in your workday.

4. Explore full-time remote work options.

In 2011, when I left my last corporate job to start my own business, it meant no longer having to go into an office. I realized the beauty of being free from office politics, and it did wonders for my mental health. I made a bold decision: I wouldn't return to any office unless it was on my own terms. I have only held remote jobs ever since. It's essential to acknowledge the privilege this choice represents as not all workers have the option to go remote, but it's also a powerful reminder that we can shape our work environments to align with our well-being.

5. Out of office means exactly that

Whether it's your PTO or a well-deserved wellness day, taking time off means unplugging from work so that you can actually reap the benefits of taking a break. It's natural to worry about what might happen when you step away from the office but this is an opportunity to put plans in place while you’re away so that the work can continue smoothly without your physical presence. Start by enlisting someone to cover for you while you’re away. Make sure this person is someone you can trust to step up on your behalf. Train them on what to do in your absence and empower them to make choices on your behalf. Be sure to communicate clearly to your team that you won't be checking emails during your time away. This is a practice of instilling trust in yourself and in your team that they can handle whatever comes their way. It's possible to fully disconnect and take necessary breaks. Your well-being depends on it.

A note on labels as Black women

When you push back against toxic systems to safeguard your mental health, be prepared for potential consequences. Some might label you as "not a team player" or the dreaded "angry Black woman." However, it's crucial to recognize that these labels don't define us; they merely reflect the biases and misconceptions of others. Rather than internalizing these labels, see them for what they are: attempts to maintain the status quo and resist the change you're championing. We have a long history of resilience and strength. Stand your ground and let your boundaries be your guide in how you want to be treated.?

In a world that often overlooks the needs and well-being of Black women, setting boundaries is a radical act of self-love and resistance. Embracing rest and ease at work isn't just a matter of preference; it's a necessity for preserving your mental health. So go on and speak up, protect your calendar, and don't be deterred by labels. As you do this, you pave the way for a more peaceful state of mind and harmonious workplace, one where we can thrive.?

PS: To learn more about my work visit me at www.arianehunter.com. To support my writing, consider becoming a premium subscriber today.

[This article was originally published on the Dreaming + Doing digest, October 2023]