Five tips for making decisions you won't regret

Life gives us choices, and it is our privilege to make decisions. Each decision - small or big - is an opportunity for us to get feedback and learn.?

However it always doesn’t feel like a privilege. Not many of us have fun or feel comfortable making decisions, especially when it comes to big ones. It can come with a feeling of frustration, uncertainty, or reluctance. For some of us, it can be really hard not to know if we are making the right or the best decision at the moment of deciding. Have you ever found yourself thinking through your decision over and over again even though there is no new information that your brain can chew on??

How can we feel better and better about ourselves and about the decision itself? Decision making had not been my strength in the past either. And these are the five secrets that I would love to share with the younger version of myself and you.?

Magic ingredients for decision making:?

• Get clarity on the meaning of your decision?
• Consider the ripple effects?
• Reflect on what might be at stake?
• Choose from your heart and soul?
• Stay in your body?

Let me elaborate one by one.?

Get clarity on the meaning of your decision?

A great question to ask yourself for this is, “What will making this decision do for me?”?

For example, imagine you are thinking of buying a property. What will having that do for you? You might get a larger balcony than your current flat. What will having that do for you? You can get more sun in the evening. What will having that do for you? Maybe you can enjoy quality time with your family and friends after work. So it’s an investment for connection and joy.?

This question might come across as similar to “Why?” but it’s not the same. People tend to feel quite defensive when they are asked about their motivation using the phrase “why”. “What will having that do for you” creates a more expansive space for you to explore freely within yourself.?

Choices and meaning are the two things that human beings can’t avoid making throughout life. If the meaning of our life can in part be defined as a compilation of the choices that we’ve made, it makes sense to reflect on the meaning of major decisions that we are making.?

Consider the ripple effects

You are like a spider who lives in the center of the web that you created for yourself. Any one event on the web may pull the silk in other areas. Therefore it’s sensible to take some time to envision the overall structure or the shape of the web after any major change or decision in your life.?

How might this decision impact other areas or important people in your life? It may be positive or negative. In the previous example of buying a property, we can say that the family and friends who can enjoy more quality time with you are impacted positively. But what if you were thinking of leaving your job? It may not be a good idea to get a mortgage and leave the job at the same time.?

Sun Tzu famously said, “Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.” in his book “The Art of War.” It is always worth assessing your decisions within a broader context of your life.?

Reflect on what might be at stake?

You will likely not have a hard time making a decision when there is nothing at stake - it would be a no-brainer. We have a hard time making decisions because there is something at stake - even though we may not be consciously aware of what that is.?

What might you lose that you value when you make this decision? The answer might come easily. In the previous example, it might be the chance to turn around the career. If the answer does not come smoothly but you still feel reluctant or wary about the decision, it might be your unconscious that is registering something at stake. My recommendation is to sit with it for some time, meditate or spend time with yourself. Maybe the answer will come to the surface.?

When we access the specific content or belief in the subconscious, it often is the case that we don’t actually lose what the subconscious is afraid of losing. For example, the subconscious can have a prejudice that when one is courageous, one can no longer be kind - which is not true. The misguided assumption needs to be revealed and appreciated so that we can go beyond.?

Choose from your heart and soul

Who wouldn’t want to choose from heart and soul? Most of us, if not all.?

Therefore the key question is this: How do we know when we are doing that? My advice is to calibrate yourself. No one can give you the answer but yourself.?

Can you think of a time when you felt good about your decision in your body, heart, or soul in the past? It can be any big or small decision. What was the feeling or impression that you had back then? It can be different for each individual - warmth in the body, sense of being guided, a certain aroma - anything. Bookmark this feeling or impression, and ask yourself if you have a similar sense for the decision you are about to make.?

It might take some time for you to calibrate yourself. Decision making is a process for us to receive feedback and learn. Our experience of deciding itself is part of that feedback process, too. Start to get curious about your experience today, and you will be more and more of an expert in the years to come.?

Stay in your body?

Many of us spend time outside of our body - here and now - though we are not always aware of it. When we are daydreaming or our mind is elsewhere far into the past or future, we are not present here and now where we have the most power. And this doesn’t help us in making decisions. Our body holds a wealth of information, and it is something that grounds us so that we can generally operate better. Our intuition is higher when we are embodied as well. Therefore embodiment is the key ingredient for effortless decision making.?

Hence when you are reflecting on your decision, first take a few big breaths and be present in your body. Notice the floor underneath your feet, notice the clothes touching your skin, and become aware where you are now. And decide. I generally recommend physical practices that enhance mind-body connection. Personally I enjoy Qigong, and there are many other practices out there such as yoga or meditation.?

You can do this

None of us can make decisions with full certainty, awareness or knowledge about what will unfold in the future as a result. Part of our learning revolves around how to commit ourselves to uncertainty with more ease and trust in ourselves and life itself. There is no one else who can do this better than you. You have the privilege to decide and take consequences.?

Contact?

Do you have an important decision you would like to make and would like some professional help? Or do you generally have difficulty deciding, and would like to do so with more ease and trust in yourself??

Let’s have a chat. Contact me at [email protected] to arrange a short catch-up.?

Feel free to visit my website for more information or my blog articles: www.AyaTransformation.com