Five tips on how to raise a dyslexic….

I was back at my old school this weekend and it reminded me of the blog I wrote about my journey with dyslexia.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/dyslexic-investor-edward-keelan/

At the end of the blog, I’d offered my time for anyone that was struggling with a dyslexia diagnosis. Unsurprisingly there weren’t that many recently diagnosed 11-year-olds reading LinkedIn blogs, but I did get quite a few requests from the parents of children who had been recently diagnosed.

I also got quite a bit of interest from the wider dyslexic and neurodiverse community! This has led to a neurodiversity group at work, which is now over 20 strong and is making waves in everything from how we recruit to just being a support for one another.

?And, I also got to speak on the awesome Andrew Kitley Podcast the Invisible Gift! https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/venture-capitalism-the-dyslexic-investor-with/id1548460193?i=1000566454683

I’ve thought hard about what advice I can give to those raising a dyslexic, and these are my top five tips!

DON’T PANIC

They’re failing every spelling test? They seem frustrated? Unengaged in the work? Don’t panic, the skills that you need to “pass education” are not the same as those that are required for work. Try not to show concern as it will do little to build confidence and with the right support, you’ll see it wasn’t required.

When I meet with parents face to face with recently diagnosed children, they are often worried that the child has been given some sort of life sentence. I actually don’t use “diagnosed” anymore as it suggests something sinister. I prefer to use “identified” as dyslexic. This just means their learning path and skills will be different. What it doesn’t mean is that the child is anyway limited in what they can achieve.

So you must be patient. Their grades at nine with the right support will not define who they become as they grow up as long as you can give them the confidence that it will all come good in the end.

ENCOURAGE THE THINGS THEY’RE GOOD AT

A lot of school misses those skills that a dyslexic is good at, here’s just a few: problem solving, creating new ideas, looking at the world differently. When you see these, or whatever you have seen, focus on them and pay much less attention to spelling, fact retention and multiplication tables.

Perhaps the thing I dislike most about school is the value put on the retention of facts. I’ve had quite the debate with the head of maths at my daughters’ school that the amount of time spent regurgitating multiplication tables was a complete waste of time and would be better spent on a child’s mental health. They didn’t agree, “multiplications are so important”, I didn’t disagree with this. Understanding and being able to apply multiplication is essential. Knowing what 8 x 7 is, not so important. Everyone has a calculator in their pocket today, why not spend time working through problems that can be solved with the technology we all have readily available, rather than grading seven year old children on memory tests! Rant over.

As an example, what I was good at, and was always encouraged by my parents to explore, was thinking up and organising stuff. When I was 5 or 6, I created a football fan supporters club which I ran from the playground; I even had mum and dad work in my home factory making the merchandise! When I was 10, I was running a school conker tournament for the RSPCA, and by 16 I tried to launch a golf tournament; that didn’t go very well, but then failure wasn’t really something I got too bothered about. Always always encourage them to try and not worry about failure.

Lean into whatever your child is good at. Whether that be creating a car washing business or putting on a play with their friends. This is so much more important than 10 out of 10 in the weekly spelling (memory) test.

HELP THEM FIND THEIR WAY TO LEARN

For me, listening to a teacher talk at me or mark work with a red pen was pointless. The picture below is from when I was about 9. It’s hard to imagine what was going through the teacher’s head to think that somehow all that red pen was actually going to help me learn. Or that the advice of, use a dictionary, whenever second world was spelt incorrectly, is particularly helpful. For those wondering I think the paragraph has something to do with the plague.

But, if someone sat down and we talked through the subject and debated it; all of a sudden I started to do much better. I also had to realise that I could only do well with a lot of self-study. Encourage them to work hard but in a way, they learn, not in a way a school teaches them to (sit up, listen, and repeat).

When I look back on learning in this way, I sort of remember it felt like I was cheating. Even though I still had to do the same exams and course work, because I was retaining nothing from the teacher and having to find my way of learning that felt like I wasn’t learning in the “right way”.

For example, I remember failing at my Computing A-level. Fortunately our close family friend, Andrew Barnes, who was a lecturer in the subject kindly gave up his time to sit down and go through it with me (for many hours without payment). Having been predicted a D or E by my teacher there was much surprise to find out I’d been awarded a B. I felt a bit of a fraud as I knew I’d had Andrew’s help. The truth is the fraud was the school who got the grade because of the work Andrew had done with me.

So I could do it, I just needed to learn what worked for me. For your child that might mean watching YouTube videos that they can pause and think through. Or, it might mean you getting involved in the subject so they have someone to debate it with. Almost certainly it won’t mean reading a textbook for hours, or being lectured in a classroom. Help them to find out how they best learn and then double down on the hard work using that method.

ASK FOR HELP

I’ve a list too long of people that have helped me. But there’s no doubt without seeking out that help I’d be nowhere. To the point above, without the people to sit down and explain a subject, many of them without pay, I’d never have made it through education! If there’s a subject, they’re struggling with do everything to find them help. I know this is not always easy but there are a lot of cheaper online tutors these days and also you could get involved in the subject yourself.

Okay I can’t help it. This is just a few people that have helped. My dad (Business Studies – GCSE) Andrew Barnes – Computing (A-Level), Amy Baxendale (Business Studies Degree) and Kieron Wesson (Masters). There will be more I’ve forgotten, but these are just some of those that sat with me and talked me through complex subjects in a way that worked for me.

I should also mention Jenny Brent who made it possible as my dyslexia tutor, helping me to at least get to the first base of learning.

ALWAYS TELL THEM TO BELIEVE

Perhaps the hardest thing when the grades are coming home is to stop believing they will ever make a success of their life. My parents only ever made me feel like my dyslexia was something that had been identified and would mean I needed to work harder. It was never something that meant I was going to fail at life, quite the opposite.

There will be many times that they are called out for being stupid and they will need the confidence to know that it’s just not true. Here are my top three:

1)?????Every day at school up to the age of 16 (see red pen picture above)

2)?????In a book shop. The girl at the till asked the man to write down the name of the book that he was looking for, as she was dyslexic she was struggling to find it on her system. He said

“if you’re dyslexic you shouldn’t work in a book shop”.

I’ll never forget it because a little part of me thought it was true – I don’t now.

3)?????When in my first job at Rolls-Royce the well-meaning management trainer said

“if you’re looking after someone with dyslexia, don’t give them a computer give them a hammer”.

I was too embarrassed at the time to say I was a dyslexic with a computer.

If there was only one tip, it would be to make the person believe that anything is possible, and their dyslexic gift will one day be the thing that sets them apart. If you believe this, then so will they.

#dyslexicthinking #dyslexia #education