Five Tips for Dealing with Family at the Holidays: Stop Being Your Authentic Self (Gasp!)
Andrea L. Enright
? Life’s Boxes, But Still Feel Blah? || I Help Women Do Hard Things & Come HOME to SELF || 25 Yr Brand Messaging Guru, Speaker, Podcaster, B Movie Actress || You CAN Go Your Own Way--Fleetwood Mac Was Right
We interrupt your regularly scheduled program (Top 10 Excuses for having a Shitty LI Profile) to bring you this important news bulletin….(find Tom Brokaw's voice in your head).
A lot of people give these at Thanksgiving, but in my mind, anyone can get through a few hours…a few DAYS is harder!)
What does this have to do with your LinkedIn Profile? So much.
Just wait until you see how I tie these seemingly disparate red ribbons together.?
You know how I’m always gently poking you to be your authentic self on LinkedIn??
Well, the holidays is where I’m giving you a BIG FAT PASS.
Because families, whom I appreciate for so many reasons (Showing up! Loving me anyway! Sitting in the messiness with me! Making me laugh! Remembering the 20-something me!) are…
COMPLICATED.
And not always the best place to be our COMPLETE selves. Because….
We may not feel accepted. We may not feel comfortable. We may not feel safe. We may not feel like it.
So here are five handy dandy ideas to get you through:
(And yes, I do wear a Santa onezie outside the house sometimes....and often wear a Santa Hat during the holidays.)
>>>>>Carry A Unicorn Pendant. Or a rock. Or a water bottle with a sassy saying. Or a lighter. Or a package of Starburst. Just carry around something that brings you comfort. An item you can touch when you’re feeling triggered or lonely or so unGodly pissed off. That’s all. Again: No need to be yourself. Just try and be present.
>>>>>Play Family Bingo. Fresh off the presses from Thanksgiving, and not recommended for public play, on our road trip through the plains of Nebraska and Iowa my immediate family and I listed off all the most common phrases from my parents and my siblings that we KNEW we would hear, and created Bingo cards. Things like:
(Insert Name Here) tells a story about a vehicle.
(Insert Name Here) talks about how much she hates coffee.
(Insert Name Here) lists off all the things there are to eat in the fridge.
(Insert Name Here) quotes a movie.
This made for very funny sideways glances when we all probably could have shouted Bingo in the FIRST two hours.?Again, no need to be your full self. Just have fun.
>>>>>Just Play Your Jelly Role. Cheers to Glennon Doyle for this one. And I’m not even sure I agree. We all have our role in the family so what if we just sank into it? How hard would it be to not resist it? Whether your'e known as the one who gets drunk, gets mad, gets all the gifts or gets a Slurpee, just embrace it! I know this is complicated. I totally get it if you’re swearing at me right now. Again, no need to be your authentic self, just play along and go with the flow....
>>>>>Lower Your Expectations A LOT. Don’t let football Sunday commercials elude you. Families are complicated. Issues will arise, whether they’re passive-aggressively shoved under the scalloped corn or loudly announced as you bite into a Scotcharoo. Again, no need to be yourself. Just try and be present to it all. Grief and frustration are not only feelings......they are a navigation of the reality that doesn't look like you thought it would.
>>>>>Look Hard for GD Joy. A recent acquisition from the Illume Gala, compliments of @kristine munro, called the Five Minute Journal, taught me that we can actually wire our brain to look for joy. It's just like a muscle when you work out......so give it a shot. (No, not a tequila shot....unless that's your role). Again, no need to be big authentic self, just find joy. It may be in a candy dish, or across the tracks or hidden in the Carharts collar of the cashier at Home Depot.
This is your ONLY CHANCE EVER NOT to express your full self.?Ok that's not true. But its the only time I'll tell you to do with unabashed shamelessness.
__________________________
I’m Andrea, small town girl, living in a Colorado world, listening to too much 80s music, and wearing a SANTA HAT every day this week. Writing my whole life. Running a business since 2000. Personal brand messaging since 2016.?
I write stuff for people.
They feel good about themselves.
They hate social media less.
They attract the right clients.
Vibrant success ensues.?
Meow.
20 Year Therapist || Top 25 Most Powerful Women in Business || Cultural Strategy Officer || Laughter, Feelings & Function || 5 Year Resilience Consultant || Organizational Leaders...Resilience is Around the Corner
1 个月Andrea L. Enright I’ve used some of these strategies before but I am going to work on hardwiring my brain for joy this year. Thanks for that!
Executive Assistant
2 个月Andrea L. Enright Thank you for these insightful and creative tips for navigating the holiday season. The idea of carrying a comfort item and playing Family Bingo are particularly fun and practical. It’s a great reminder that sometimes, it's okay to prioritize presence over authenticity in complex family dynamics. How do you balance being your authentic self with the need for self-preservation in these situations?
Speaker | Author | Mentor Science & Tech Execs to Drive Decisions Faster| HOW-TO Model??Creator | Your Guide to Telling 'Stories that Stick' to Stakeholders
2 个月Haha, I love the Tom Brokaw voice intro! The holidays definitely bring out the complexity in family dynamics. A unicorn pendant? Genius. I might need one of those myself! Thanks for the reminder to embrace the messiness and stay true to ourselves, Andrea L. Enright
Step into the spotlight with confidence & charisma! Helping executives, entrepreneurs & consultants speak and lead with maximum impact.
2 个月So great! I love this! One more suggestion: Have a really close, cool friend call you in the middle of your "Holiday Family Experience" and remind you that your actual life is a whole lot bigger than what you may be experiencing in that moment. My pal Joe did that for me at around day 4 of my weeklong family Christmas visit many years ago, and it was like he threw me a lifeline!
America’s “Usable AI for Business” Expert: Keynotes and Consulting | Specializing in Firms, Franchises, and Organizations: Automate the Ordinary, Personalize the Extraordinary
2 个月Andrea, I love the practical and lighthearted approach to navigating family dynamics during the holidays. What’s your favorite personal tip from this list?