Five Steps to Develop a Mental Six-Pack and Become Ultra-Resilient

This is my first article in January and like every new year, people around the world are lacing up their tennis shoes and trying to jog again (even through icy rain), visiting the gym in hoards (and injuring themselves after months or even years of bodily neglect), and declaring they will eat healthier (which they try for a couple of weeks before going back to their usual diet). The sad news is that this motivation wanes and it only rarely leads to long-lasting changes. In fact, studies have shown almost no one sticks to their new year’s resolutions past February.

Why is this, and how can we change it?

As a business coach, I must motivate professionals to work hard on their businesses long before they see rewards, including navigating self-doubt, rejection, anxiety, and more. Yes, business is mental. And stressful, for some more than others.

Not everyone is cut out for busines s, but I’d like to argue that building mental toughness is a key factor in determining who will fail and who will succeed. Of course, this goes beyond business to determine who will be fit, have a good career, and more.

While there is an entire culture focused on excuse-making and coaches making good money off enabling this behavior, I am not a fan. Instead, I’m going to push you. Because I personally know there is only one way to win. You don’t win by sitting on your laurels or whining or waiting. You win through targeted, disciplined, consistent, repetitive, and challenging action.

One of my clients once joked that nothing seems to rattle me. She asked how I maintain a clear and calm head throughout life’s ups and downs. My secret is mental toughness. I don’t feel sorry for myself, I don’t let setbacks or obstacles stop me, and I certainly don’t waste any precious time complaining, overthinking, or waiting “for the right moment.”

Below are five steps I can teach you to build mental toughness that, when followed, will help you achieve your goals.

1/ Accept That Obstacles and Setbacks Are Normal

I’m always surprised since this is so obvious, yet people seem shocked when life doesn’t go as planned. Maybe we overdid it in our society by driving kids to be winners and constantly praising them. Because, as adults, many seem unable to cope with failure. It totally devastates them, leads them into a deep depression, and, worst of all often seems to result in a sort of paralysis or shock where they can’t seem to move on. How can a person live life this way? It is clear that setbacks and failures are normal and part of everyone’s reality, including the smartest people in the world. I expect things not to go as planned. So nothing surprises me when a hiccup occurs.

2/ Tackle One Goal At a Time

We live in an “all or nothing” society of extremes, yo-yo behavior, and contradictions. People seem to want to do it all. In my online business world, this translates into launching a top podcast, writing a best-selling book, gaining a million-plus followers on social media, launching a million-dollar course, and more….all by Summer. Completely unrealistic and unattainable, not because the goals are bad, but simply because they are trying to stack them.?Shiny object syndrome ?will bring you down and lead to burnout. Do the opposite: cut back and achieve one major goal, then pursue the next, and so forth. Sure, it means more time, but would you instead finish one thing successfully this year or have multiple half-started projects? Less is more.

“Success demands singleness of purpose.

You need to be doing fewer things for more effect instead of doing more things with side effects.”

— Gary Keller, The One Thing

3/ Craft One Well-Designed Plan… with Contingencies

Too often, I see people trying to do a lot without proper planning and precautions. This is a recipe for failure. All goals must in writing but also it is important to plan that many things could and probably will go wrong too. Having the “perfect” plan is not the goal. Staying flexible and having a 30% deviation margin is much more realistic. If you anticipate for some failures, then you won’t be as stressed out over them when they happen and you certainly won’t give up and stop everything just because a couple of things aren’t going as well as planned.

4/ Develop a One-Track Mind

I strongly advise avoiding ‘To Do’ lists because they clutter the brain, set unrealistic expectations, and fill the time often with tasks that are not the most important. Plus, they never get shorter. Instead, I believe in getting laser-focused on just a few key goals and then doing everything rain or shine to work towards them. Everything beyond is a clear ‘no’ and is deleted or delegated. This enables you to direct all your energy towards a few things instead of spreading yourself too thin. This is most important when it comes to mindset to commit to absolute focus on achieving your goal. There is no room for complaints, no time for overthinking, just clear, targeted action.

5/ Be In It for The End Goal

Too often, people have short-term thinking. Often I meet people who say “If it works out…” or “I’ll give it 3 months.” Life doesn’t work like that at all! You don’t control the timeline. You must be willing and prepared to put in the effort for as long as it takes. Even if you fail ten times, you will try again. Because success is always closer than we believe, and often would have come right after the next round. People give up too soon because of the lack of vision and the desire for instant gratification. When you work towards achieving something big, it isn’t quick nor easy. Be ready to keep at it until the finish line.

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