Five Stages of Personal Growth?

I have often asked people, what they meant when they said they continuously worked on their growth. Answers often have been similar. To most people, growth meant higher designations, assignments with bigger companies, and this with correspondingly higher compensation. And, frankly, i never disagreed with their answers. It's a personal choice to decide to grow - however one may wish to. To say that their personal choice was good or bad would be too judgmental - and some would say pedantic.

Perspectives may vary, nevertheless.

Here is mine.

Growth is a fundamental aspect of existence. Universe grew from a tiny point through big-bang to unimaginably gigantic proportions today. Various phenomena and things grow from one stage to another - in terms of complexity, size, impact.

Growth, perhaps, has a special significance for life, and to human life even more specially.

Personal growth, to me, means increasing independence in various spheres of life. It starts with absolute dependence on others, climaxes in being a dependable source of strength to many others, and actualizes in enabling others in becoming independent and grow.

Stage 1 - Absolute Dependence on Others

Stage 2 - Limited Dependence on Others

Stage 3 - Independence from Others

Stage 4 - Provider to Others (Source of Dependence to Others)

Stage 5 - Provider of Independence and Growth to Others

A human baby is born utterly helpless and dependent on the mother. It needs caring to survive. As the child grows, dependence on the mother reduces but the family still provides the shelter and protection from the outside world. The child learns how to adapt, adjust and respond to society's many demands. When the child grows into an adult, and leaves the safety of home, the society provides protection from unruly elements, ambiguity, and chaos. Some people grow further and become a source of support to the society itself. And only a few strive to make others in the society independent and push them on the path to growth.

This journey can be transposed on to the professional life (as to other aspects of life, too).

A fresher from a college joins the profession as a trainee, an apprentice (Stage-1). Dependent fully on others for instructions and directions. As they gain some experience they are ready to independently carry out most of the tasks themselves, with minimum level of supervision and support (Stage 2). Then, in sometime, they become independent and are ready to move to the next level (Stage 3). It is this transition which is very difficult. Now, they don't need to just independently do what they are supposed to do, but also help others, who still are dependent on instructions and directions (Stage 4). Poor managers are examples of premature transition to this stage. The ability to manage others is a skill that few really progress to. Still more difficult is the next stage where one helps others become competent enough to work independently and grow (Stage-5). This step requires one to transcend oneself and find fulfillment in others' success and growth. It requires integrity, humility, coaching skills, and a high level of empathy.

One needs also to realize that growth from one stage to another requires one to:

1. Face challenges that belong to the next higher stage - even when not fully ready - and persist despite failures. A child strives to be independent, falls down, gets hurt, but eventually becomes independent. Similarly, in professional life one needs to take on challenges that require higher level skills and challenges. Challenges that create some level of anxiety are the ones that one should go for. As long as one finds comfort in what one is competent in - growth is not possible.
2. Voluntarity face ambiguity and chaos. Things appear ambiguous and chaotic because you have not faced those things earlier. As you wade into it courageously and voluntarity - you develop new ways of thinking and behaving that make you competent at facing things that many can't.
3. Never believe that you are entitled to external markers of growth like higher designation/position etc. You will not get it till you prove your worth. And if you get it, you won't be able to retain it for long, if you are not worthy. No one ever gives anything to anyone. External growth is only a reflection of internal growth.
4. Transcend Self. As is evident in the five stages - growth takes an individual from completely egoistic and self centered existence to one where purpose of existence is well-being and growth of others. It requires holistic thinking, deeper relationships, following purposes that lie outside of one's own self.