Five Principles To Follow If You Want To Influence Others

By: David W. Glenn, Ph.D. Director, Professional Services Consulting Partner CIO Advisor with Kyndryl Consult

Have you ever stopped to think how much of your day is spent influencing others?

According to industry experts, it’s close to 40%. If you’re in sales, it’s even higher.

Influence, with and without authority, has become a hot topic as our workplaces become more cross-functional and collaborative.

No matter your role, influence is key to solving problems and making things happen. In the business world, this means persuading people to help you affect change, implement key decisions and create buy-in around your ideas.

In fact, influence is happening all the time at work, whenever you make a connection, nurture a relationship, or build your credibility. The key is to get others to do what you ask because they actually want to, not just because you said so.

This is a skill the most influential business leaders have mastered.

Here are five principles to help you move others.

1. Influence is a persuasive process. It doesn’t happen all at once.

Influence is much more than giving a persuasive presentation. The process includes building relationships, understanding the perspectives of others and having clarity about what you want and what they want.

To integrate this process into your daily routine, think of every interaction you have as a touch point for current and future influence.

For example, take time to really get to know the people around you. Pay attention to what they care about. Build a strong reputation by being consistent, genuine and empathetic.

Before you suggest a change to an area of the business, consider the different points of view of those who will be affected. Marketing’s perspective may differ from finance’s, for example, because they have different priorities.

And never try to influence anyone without clarity. Get clear on what you want and why you want it, and be able to clearly articulate your reasoning. Just as important, get clear about what others want and how they feel.

Ultimately, influence is the result of this ongoing persuasive process.

2. Influence is a product of trust.

This requires building relationships and your reputation.

Why should people trust you? What have you done to earn their trust?

One way to establish trust is to promise something and then?deliver?on that promise. This needs to be ongoing – not just when you need something.

3. When people feel heard, they’re more open to being influenced.

Take time to understand where others are coming from, both in what they are feeling and thinking.

The ability to ask thoughtful, probing questions is essential, both for understanding the other person’s perspective and to subtly influence.

When you understand where people are coming from, you know what information will resonate with them. You can frame your ask in a compelling way because you’ve taken the time to understand what’s important to them.

Asking insightful questions has the added benefit of making people feel valued and listened to. When people feel heard, their defensive walls break down and they’re more open to what you have to say.

Yet many of us struggle to ask probing questions.

Ask thoughtful and probing questions such as:

• Illustration questions: “Can you share or describe what this project would look like if everything went perfectly?”
• Clarification questions: “You just said that quality was very important to you. What, exactly, does quality mean to you?”
• Consequence questions: “If this issue persists, what other issues might it cause?”

Then, listen to their responses. Take their ideas and feelings into account when structuring your ask.

4. Influence requires persuasively communicating.

There are a variety of frameworks that help you get your message across to internal and external stakeholders in a clear, credible and compelling way.

Here’s one communication framework:

• Describe the current state. What is going on now?
• Establish a need/problem. What is the problem with the current state? What is there a need to change?
• Describe the desired state. What does “good” look like? Why is it important to make the change or do what they are suggesting?
• Satisfy or solve. What needs to be done? What steps need to be taken to solve the problem or make things happen? Lead with a mutual perspective or their perspective.
• Visualize. Picture the benefits when the problem is solved. Why is this better?
• Call to action. Get commitment and/or agreement.

5. Influence isn’t about winning; it’s about solving problems.

As much as you would like to get what you want, you always want to think about the long-term impact.

If you are viewed as a problem-solver and solution provider, you will build your credibility in the long run, which will make the next time you want to influence much easier.

Remember that all five of these principles work together as part of an ongoing process of persuasion. Integrate them all into your daily life, and you will be more successful at moving others.