The Five Mothers of My Life

They say that behind every successful man is a woman. While I hardly consider myself a success, I owe a debt of gratitude to the five most important women in my life.

They are my paternal grandmother, my maternal grandmother, my mother-in-law, my mother, and my wife.

Let me begin with my paternal grandmother.

My paternal grandmother (a.k.a. "Lai Ma") was a Peranakan Teochew matriarch. Immaculately dressed in the traditional nonya-style kebaya, she had an aquiline Roman nose and a calm and regal air about her. You'd never catch her with her hair out of place!

A fastidious cook who cared about what she ate, Lai Ma was very careful with her diet. Often, she made brown-rice porridge infused with the fragrance of the broth from pork bones and fortified with red dates. She also shared her recipes of spices which filled our kitchen with delicious aromas.

While Lai Ma never quite stayed in our house for long—she "rotated" staying with her different children, often for a month or two each time—she did leave an indelible impression on us with her elegant ways. I'd recall her resilience and her strength.

The polar opposite of my paternal grandma, my maternal grandmother (a.k.a. "Gua Ma") was a salt-of-the-earth Hokkien lady who sold chicken wings in the wet market. She had to support her large family of nine children from a fairly young age as my maternal grandfather died in his 50s.

A casual dresser, Gua Ma's secret vice was to smoke hand-rolled cigarettes in the toilet. We called the loo the "torture chamber" because of its stench and humble conditions. Though poor, she cooked delicious meals for her large family—I'd always remember how the rice she cooked was especially fragrant with each crystalline grain separated from one another.

Gua Ma and her brood (which included my mum of course) had to shift from home to home over the years. I recalled how spartan her homes were—concrete floors, cheap tacky sofas and furnitures, store-rooms overcrowded with Chinese books (my uncle was a bookseller), and rattling floor fans to keep us cool. During school holidays when my mum had to work, my brother and I slept on mattresses on the floor at my Gua Ma's home, but we'd always appreciate the effort that she put into our welfare.

Like my maternal grandmother, my mother-in-law (a.k.a. "Mother") was raised in a humble household. Although she lacked education, she was savvy enough to stretch the dollar and help her children to thrive and succeed in life. A masterful Teochew chef, she whipped up delicious and flavourful meals for our extended families during festive occasion.

Thrifty and resourceful, Mother could turn simple ingredients into a grand meal. She supervised the kitchen and taught her domestic helpers how to cook in the proper time-honoured Teochew tradition. A holder of high hygiene standards, she was exacting in how her children should be groomed—she bought them new clothes and shoes every year during Chinese New Year.

Always caring for her grandchildren, Mother prepared special dishes that were fortifying and nutritious—like the peanut roots soup that my son imbibed which would help him to grow taller.

And what about my own mother (a.k.a. "Mummy")?

A nurse since the tender age of 17, my mum is the epitome of the working mother balancing multiple roles. She had to rush for work early in the morning, leaving home at 7 am or 7.30 am, and made it a point to prepare nourishing breakfasts for my brother and I before she left.

My mum will always call home sometime during lunch to check on how we are. Somehow or other, hearing her voice on the line brought me comfort during the latchkey years. Although my brother and I had a string of domestic helpers who took care of us, we never quite bonded with them the way we did with our mum.

As a staff nurse (and later senior staff nurse), my mum is always on her feet. Although she returned home fairly early at about 5-ish, her work never really stopped. She would immediately change out of her nurses' uniform which emanated the scent of Dettol from the polyclinic, have a quick shower, and then cook dinner for my dad, my brother and I.

Finally, and certainly very importantly, my wife—the mother of our son.

My wife (a.k.a. "Mama" to my son) is always "puttering around" as she puts it. Her work is never done as she handles multiple jobs of feeding our family while helping me with the business as my business partner and director. We blend our roles very well—I am the dreamer and creative person who charges forward (sometimes chaotically) while she brings in the level-headedness needed to manage our operations and projects.

Her heart always in the right place, my wife blends empathy with energy, compassion with conscientiousness. Focused on the well-being of both our immediate and extended family, she always helps to think ahead and plan ways to "spark joy" in our home. She is also extremely efficient and fast in anything that she does, balancing so many balls in the air—most definitely a doer and not a talker.

With my wife being the better person in our relationship, I could concentrate on honing and improving my craft while she helped to ensure order in the wake of my creative "destruction".

I feel very blessed to have the advantage of these five amazing women in my life. Each of these women are strong in their own unique ways—they demonstrate generosity, grit, and problem-solving abilities in ways that are difficult for me to describe in words.

As Asian mothers, they may not be as eloquent or lyrical as the fabled mothers that we read about in the news, but they have demonstrated superlative qualities that encapsulate what a mother's love is all about.

This Mother's Day, let us spend some time celebrating the mothers in our lives.

And if you're a mother yourself, do also give yourself a break as you enjoy a Happy ? Mother's Day!

Walter is the founder and editor of Cooler Insights—a critically thinking content marketing, social media marketing and brand storytelling agency. Fuel your business with the latest insights in digital and content marketing, public relations and personal branding.