FIVE FOR THE L'ODE: OF DE NIRO IN JAPAN AND SOUTH KOREA, THE ST. PAUL RACCOON AND STORMY DANIELS' BIPPY
—- Pacific Rim politicos are insisting Shinzo Abe, the prime minister of Japan, and Moon Jae-in, president of South Korea, have both formally asked Robert De Niro to visit their countries…And each has asked De Niro to limit his arrival remarks to two words…
—- That raccoon who took days to successfully climb a 20-story building in downtown St. Paul reportedly has signed to be represented by top Hollywood agents Joel Lubin and Jack Whigham of CAA…First property under consideration is said to be a paw noir thriller in which he, Rocky and Bullwinkke thwart an international election-rigging ring out of their Frostbite Falls HQ…
—- Triple Crown winner Justify will be paraded at Churchill Downs during a night card Saturday…And no, the chestnut colt won’t be visiting the White House —- backstretchers are already saying he would have finished second in the Belmont if he wanted to see another horse’s ass…
—- Snow-white Stormy Daniels opens a three-day run at Chicago’s Admiral Theatre on Thursday…The late Johnny Carson might note that how intensely she’ll be tweeting her bippy remains to be seen…
—- And while LeBron James continues to plant mums about where he’ll be playing next season, the Akron-bred nets eminence apparently has only one non-negotiable item on his demand list…All locker room chalkboards and stupid teammates heads must be made out of styrofoam.
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