Five Lessons I Learnt About Communication From Being a Grassroots Coach.

It’s the end of the football season, and that means a couple of things for me.

First, the mighty Derby County are returning to the Championship, having been promoted from League One following a difficult couple of years, where we almost ceased to exist as a club. Being a football fan is a lifelong commitment and, as a Derby fan, moments of success in my lifetime have been few and far between, so it was nice to enjoy the celebrations a couple of weeks ago.

Second, and most importantly, it is the end of my third year as a grassroots coach, and my team’s second season in the local grassroots league. It’s safe to say that over that time, it has become a passion of mine, bordering (according to my wife) on an obsession! It feels fitting to write about it, as it has taught me a few lessons that I think are valuable to share.

But first, some context. To tell the truth, I became a football coach by accident.? My eldest son was four at the time and had started at the local kid’s club and the coach there was clearly overrun with the number of kids attending. A nudge from my wife on the day (“Go and help!”) was followed by my hesitation (“I can’t just step in without being asked!”) and then after the session, a sensible request for volunteers from the coach, a call which I promptly answered (“It’ll only be an hour a week… won’t it?”).

From there, I got stuck in. And from the first training session, I LOVED it. I love seeing the group of players I’m working with (the same group since I started) engaged and having fun. I love seeing them improving and putting into practice their learning and am enjoying seeing them grow as people.

As a team we’ve had lots of brilliant moments, including winning our first tournament. I’m particularly proud of them in that event because there were games where we weren’t at our best, but they showed determination and character, and found ways to win. Even better, the team (parents and players) has become a little community – we have regular social events and enjoy spending time as a group beyond football matches.

As we reach the end of the second football season for our team, I reflect on the experience and realise how much I’ve learned about development and coaching in the time I’ve been trying to become Etwall FC's answer to Pep Guardiola. It has taught me about how I communicate, and how the way I do so has an impact on the development and performance of those I am working with. I find the below points are also applicable in my professional life as a management consultant, and I thought I’d share them with you, in case they resonate:

1. Set clear expectations, early

We have invested time in ensuring we set expectations for both parents and players, and we have experienced far less challenges with managing both groups than many other teams around us. Both parents and players are clear how the team works in terms of subs/game time, taking a turn in goal, rotating around positions. It gives the chance for initial objections, which means they can be managed, and it provides a reference point for issues down the line. This is ultra-important when we work with clients – it’s taught me that even if the expectation-setting has a difficult message/point of conflict, it’s best to do it early, for the sake of progress, and building trusting relationships.

2. Communicate concisely

Kids have an attention span like a goldfish. If you can’t give them the instructions within 30 seconds, you’re faced with a metaphorical game of ‘whack-a-mole’ trying to bring them all back into focus. More importantly, make sure that the message provides value - if I pause the game, what am I asking of them that will help them improve when they restart. Is it clear, can they use it? If it's done well, it is less likely to need repeating ('re-work', in my work world). It’s extremely relevant to our work with clients – how can we most effectively get to the point of what we are trying to say, at the first attempt?

3. Ask, don’t tell

It can feel quicker and easier to tell the players what they need to do. But if they can come to the answers themselves, they learn faster, and often commit more to putting it into practice. Use your knowledge of the answers to ask the right questions. This approach is often helpful when working with clients – even if you feel you have the answers, you can create earlier buy-in and ownership to solutions (“their idea”) by helping them come to the solution themselves.

4. Respond productively

This is really thinking about how your response will help the person you are feeding back to in the future. Celebrate good process, even if it doesn’t create the outcome that was intended. Be careful with how you respond to good outcomes achieved in the wrong way to avoid reinforcing the wrong behaviours. At OutForm, we live by a principle: “Do the right thing, in the right way” and in our responses to decisions and actions, both parts are critical considerations.

5. Reinforce the positives

Very much linked to the above. As humans, we love praise! When you see something done well, recognise it in front of the group. The rest of the group are much more likely to try and replicate the action to receive praise themselves. This works much better than calling out the wrong way to do things. At work, this principle stands strong – we can shape behaviour of teams and those around us by calling out what is desirable. Not to mention giving those around us the sense of pride of being recognised for their hard work!

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Summary

Reflecting on these point, I realise that my points above are about communication, but also about leadership. If we do the above, we create an environment with clarity of direction, self-guided learning, and where failure is framed as a learning opportunity. No matter how old you are, these factors will help you learn quicker, and subsequently deliver to a higher standard. As leaders, creating these environments is critical for getting the best out of your team. I'd love to hear more about your own personal learnings about communication when coaching or leading a team. What tips do you have? How do you get the best out of your teams?

Jack