Five Feedback Fumbles That Will Get You Uninvited to Lunch
César Gamio
Founder & Managing Director of Dharma Centre for Wellbeing | International Speaker
This week, let's focus on what NOT to do when giving feedback.
Done well, feedback can inspire growth, improve performance, and strengthen relationships. However, giving feedback poorly can lead to frustration, resentment, or a breakdown in communication.
To ensure your feedback is effective and constructive, here are five things you should never do when giving feedback (please take note!):
1.?Don’t Make It Personal
Feedback should focus on actions or behaviours, not on the person. Avoid statements that attack someone's character, such as "You're lazy" or "You're not good at this."
Instead, focus on the specific behaviours or outcomes that need improvement.
For example, say, "I noticed that you missed a few deadlines this month. Can we discuss ways to manage your time more effectively?" This approach helps the recipient understand what needs to change without feeling personally attacked.
2.?Don’t Give Vague or Generalised Feedback
Vague feedback like “You need to improve” or “That was okay” provides little value.
The person receiving it won’t know what specifically to work on or how to improve. Be as specific as possible when giving feedback.
For example, instead of saying, “You need to work on your communication,” you could say, “I think your presentation could be clearer if you provided more examples and summarised the key points at the end.” Clear, specific feedback gives the recipient actionable steps to take.
3.?Don’t Give Feedback Publicly
Criticising someone in front of others can be humiliating and is likely to cause embarrassment, defensiveness, or resentment, even in psychologically safe environments.
If the feedback is critical, always deliver it privately where the person feels safe and respected. Public praise is wonderful, but public criticism can damage morale and relationships. Remember, your goal is to help the person improve, not to shame them.
4.?Don’t Overwhelm with Too Much at Once
It can be tempting to point out multiple areas for improvement in one go, but this can overwhelm the recipient and dilute the effectiveness of your feedback. Instead, prioritise the most important points and provide feedback in manageable doses.
If you try to address too many issues at once, the person may struggle to focus on any one area, which reduces the likelihood of improvement. Start with one or two key areas, then offer additional feedback over time as necessary.
5.?Don’t Give Feedback Without Context or Examples
Feedback without context can be confusing or even misinterpreted. Always provide specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, saying, “You’ve been disengaged in meetings” could leave the recipient unsure of what you mean.
A better approach would be, “In the last two meetings, I noticed you didn’t contribute to the discussions. I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts as your input is valuable.” Providing examples helps clarify your feedback and ensures it is grounded in observable behaviour.
Final Thoughts
Giving feedback is an essential skill, but it requires care and consideration to be effective. By avoiding personal attacks, vague language, public criticism, information overload, and context-less statements, you can ensure your feedback is constructive, respectful, and actionable.
Remember, the goal of feedback is to support growth and improvement, so approach it with empathy, clarity, and a genuine desire to help others succeed.
"Think of feedback as constructive Lego building—not a demolition derby." AA
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Global Faculty & Learner Experience Lead | Inclusion and Diversity Lead at Accenture Learning
1 个月Thank you for calling this out boldly César Gamio in addition to the wonderful and practically doable points you've mentioned here, I'd like to add one more point about how feedback is handled in reality. It's always best to share feedback with the person directly, in a timely manner and with respect instead of talking about feedback loosely with others and making it a gossip. There is no need to discuss feedback about someone in open calls where there is audience, there is no need to call out names in meetings where others can easily form perceptions and most importantly there is no need to escalate it to skip levels unnecessarily causing more anxiety. The current corporate fabric doesn't allow for this. Feedback reaches the concerned person after being handled by several people. The big reason why feedback doesn't work is because it was never handled correctly in the first place.