Five Books that Changed My Life

Over the last two years, I have read many books, articles and papers that inspired me. Inspired me to grow, learn and develop, and give me the courage to take bold decisions. As a life coach, I encourage people to change their lives for the better - personally and professionally. To make the decisions that are right for them, that align with their values and passions, and that ultimately will bring them happiness.

Today I’d like to share five books with you that changed my life and hope that in return, you’ll share your inspirational reading with me too. What have you read that sparked you to make a big decision? That inspired you to change something in your life, big or small?

1. Helping People Change – Coaching with Compassion for Lifelong Learning and Growth

Richard Boyatzis, Melvin Smith, Ellen Van Oosten

It was late 2020. As so many that year, I had found a renewed desire to grow and develop, so when I received a webinar invitation to join Professor Richard Boyatzis and hear more about ‘Compassionate Coaching’ it sparked my interest. I couldn’t have imagined the impact it had on me – everything just seemed to fall into place: the central theme of compassion throughout the coaching process, a clear framework to guide people through, and all of this based on over 30 years of research into coaching. I bought the book, devoured it, and immediately booked myself on the course that taught this particular coaching method. In May 2021, I launched my private coaching practice and I’m still loving every minute of it.

2. The Five Regrets of the Dying

Bronnie Ware

In the same dark days of December a year later, I read The Five Regrets of the Dying and my learning from this wasn’t perhaps as obvious as the title suggests. Yes, this is an absolute must-read for anyone searching for meaning in their life. In Bronnie’s words, “After all, we’re all going to die and none of us wish to do so with regrets.” Translated in 31 languages and read by over a million people, I’m clearly not alone in this. For me though, it wasn’t only the power of knowing what those regrets are, but rather it was the central theme of love that resonated with me. As one of her dying patients says, just before he passes, “Don’t worry about the little stuff. None of it matters. Only love matters. If you remember this, that love is always present, it will be a good life.” So, compassion and love – powerful themes to take into 2022…

“After all, we’re all going to die and none of us wish to do so with regrets.”

3. Gelukkig Zijn Is Geen Kwestie van Geluk Hebben

Roué Verveer

I’m afraid this book hasn’t been translated yet, so apologies for those of you who won’t be able to read it in Dutch. The concept is simple: Happiness isn’t a matter of being lucky, it’s a choice. Of course, this verges dangerously close to the recently coined term during pandemic times of ‘toxic positivity’, however, it is written with a certain humour and playfulness which makes it both endearing and light-hearted. The key message for me was to keep asking myself the question: Does it make me happy? If not, why I am I doing it?

Simplistic? Yes. Helpful? Yes, also. It somehow brought a simple clarity to so many of my worries and questions. As I like to over-think and over-analyse things, this is a helpful reminder to keep coming back to. So I will continue to ask myself in 2022: Does it make me happy? If not, why am I doing it? It’s surprising how much more is in our control than we may initially think or assume.

4. Person-Centred Counselling in Action

Dave Mearns and Brian Thorne with John McLeod

As a first introduction to Carl Roger’s humanistic, client-centred psychology, this book absolutely blew me away. I devoured it. This is a study book for counselling students and practitioners and some may find it too academic to enjoy, but I read it with so much pleasure. It’s unrelenting focus on staying with someone’s agenda, without judgment, and without ever redirecting that attention, struck me as so powerful. I still try and use this all the time, in many of my conversations with others, not just with my coachees. It sparked my curiosity, which also led me to study counselling last year, an experience that embedded that foundation of unrelentless focus and compassion for others. This book may not be for everyone but for me, it opened up a completely different way of interacting with others, and if nothing else, it gave me a great lesson in how to become a better listener. ?

5. Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life

Héctor García and Francesc Miralles

By contrast, this lovely little book is a treasure that anyone can cherish. ‘Ikigai’, according to the writers, is the Japanese word for ‘the happiness of always being busy’ but, I hasten to add, not the ‘busy’ that most of us know – a busyness that comes from stress, endless tasks and a never-ending workload – but rather the magical combination of four elements that come together to give you the ‘spring in your step’, the purpose that ‘makes you jump out of bed every morning’ or your ‘raison d’être’. What if you can spend your life doing what you love and what you’re good at while being paid – and it is something that the world needs? That’s where we can each find ‘ikigai’. Ever since I heard about this, I have set this as one of my life’s goals. Seeking out ‘ikigai’ in what I do. I love helping others, my coaching clients tell me I’m really quite good at it. They’re happy to reward me, and in some way I believe it gives the world something it needs. But, finding ikigai isn’t easy. It can be very difficult to seek out what it is that ticks all four boxes for you, but when you get there, you’ll probably say it was worth the effort.

“My secret to a long life is always saying to myself, ‘Slow down,’ and ‘Relax.’ You live much longer if you’re not in a hurry.”

Cécile runs a successful coaching practice focused on helping people achieve their personal and professional goals. Having managed, mentored, and coached many over the course of her career, she started her coaching practice early in 2021 after completing a Psychology in Leadership course at Cornell University and a coaching certification focused on Intentional Change Theory, developed by Professor Richard Boyatzis, revered by Harvard’s Institute of Coaching as one of the world's leading experts in leadership development and emotional intelligence.

She lives with her husband and two children - a Golden Retriever and recently-adopted rescue cat - in Gloucestershire, in a quiet little village.

Find out more at www.cecilejenkins.com