Fitting In
By Cottonbro Studios

Fitting In

I was talking with someone I had recently met a couple of days ago, and he told me that his parents were Norwegian. Our discussion was about inclusivity and how important it is when you go somewhere new, like a new school or a new workplace to feel welcomed and valued.

During the course of our discussions I asked him about his surname which was a double barrelled name like Lee-Smith. He told me that Lee-Smith was not his parents original name. I asked him why they had changed it, and he responded that he wasn't sure why they'd done so.

I told him that it was likely that his parents changed their surname in order to 'fit in' better in British society. He thought about that for some moments and then said that he had never thought about it, but it made sense because he said: "I think lots of people would struggle to pronounce the name."

I agreed they probably would at first, but that if they made the effort, that I felt sure they would be able to manage it, in the not too distant future.

We had been on a course together and whilst on it a lady, whose full name we never got to hear, told the person running the course (who normally prided themselves on their ability to remember names) to just call her 'Riti.'

Not because that was her name but because, she had learned that people tend not to make the effort to learn to pronounce her name properly. So instead of having to go through the hassle of telling each person who mispronounced, or wasn't able to remember her name. She asked them to simply call her by the abbreviated name 'Riti.'

People of course did so because it was easier for them, but what was the cost to her, or to my new found friend's parents? They were losing part of their identity. They were changing their name or what they were called, in order to fit in and be more accepted by the majority.

Lots of people anglicise their names in exactly the same ways discussed above, and I think it is important when working with others from a different country and culture to recognise the pressure that they experience when living in the UK.

This recognition would no doubt be helpful to share with others, when you hear the claim that foreigners and immigrants don't make any effort to 'fit in' and become more British.

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