First Thing Monday #42

?? Good morning! Thank you for bearing with me as I was out last weekend at Heroe’s Con in Charlotte with The New Futurists. I’m back home, and boy was it hot this weekend. It was really the humidity, though, that kept me inside. So far, I’m grateful for air conditioning and ice machines this summer!

?? FTM is a weekly newsletter that includes a recap of all the news you need to know to make better career decisions. Each issue also includes four tips for developing better relationships at work and a deep dive into a pressing workplace topic. Weekly issues come out on Monday mornings!

? Have a work question or topics you’d like us to discuss? Drop me a line ?? simply reply to this email or leave us a comment below!

I’m Jon Cochran , a workplace sociologist with over 15 years of experience leading sales, marketing, and product development teams and working with brands like J.Crew, Hilton, and Mattel. I want to provide resources to help you take control of your career and maximize your satisfaction in the workplace.

Thank you for reading First Thing Monday! If you like it, I hope you’ll consider subscribing to receive new posts and support my work.

? What to read before your first meeting:

• How to take—and give—criticism well ( The Atlantic ): In our hyper-critical world, from online reviews to student evaluations, criticism is everywhere. While it can sting, the article offers ways to navigate it productively. The key is to detach your self-worth from the feedback; instead, see it as a chance to improve. Trusted colleagues can be a valuable source of honest criticism. When giving criticism, focus on helping the recipient, not making others feel bad. Offer specific suggestions for improvement and deliver it privately, not in a meeting or even necessarily in front of others. What if we turned criticism from a source of stress into a tool for growth?
• Why Do We Put Up With Misconduct at Work? (The Cut): Societal conditioning, particularly in the US, fosters a culture of silence that allows sexual misconduct to persist in workplaces. Reah Bravo’s new book explains how cultural norms around work ethic and gender roles contribute to this issue. In the US, intense focus on work and career success can make people hesitant to speak up about abuse for fear of jeopardizing their careers. Our cultural emphasis on individualism and self-reliance discourages seeking help and admitting vulnerability, especially when reporting sexual harassment. Traditional gender roles where men hold power and women are expected to be agreeable further complicate the situation, making it difficult for women to challenge male superiors. Our cultural tendency to avoid discussing sexual harassment and blaming victims perpetuates a system that protects perpetrators and silences those who come forward.
• The ‘Coordination Tax’ at Work Is Wearing Us Down ( The Wall Street Journal ): Many companies now allow employees to choose when to work between their home or in the office, but this flexibility can make it difficult for teams to collaborate. As a result, many of us are spending more time figuring out who is working remotely and who is in the office. The time spent tracking down who is where is referred to as the "coordination tax." The extra time spent tracking people down can be frustrating and lead to decreased productivity. Some companies are trying to address this issue by setting specific days for in-office work or by using technology to help employees coordinate their schedules. However, it is still a challenge to create a productive work environment when employees are scattered across different locations. Just because there is a green circle next to their name in Slack doesn’t mean they are around!
• 6 in 10 Americans Support DEI in the Workplace ( Inc. Magazine ): A new poll shows that while there is some recent pushback against Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) programs, most Americans still support them. The details of the programs seem to matter, with strong support for things like mentorship programs and anti-bias training, and opposition to paying executives based on diversity goals. Companies themselves are hesitant to fully commit, with some even waiting out the perceived backlash or getting rid of their DEI teams entirely. Overall, there's support for DEI efforts, but skepticism about achieving true racial equality in the workplace.
• 3 Ways AI Can Bridge The Generational Gap In The Workplace ( Forbes ): There's a financial and emotional gap between Millennials/Gen Z and older colleagues. Younger workers feel less secure and cynical due to traditional management styles, leading to a productivity slump. The challenges stem from differing preferences for feedback, communication styles, and overall work approach. Traditional training often fails to consider generational preferences, leading to misunderstandings and a lack of empathy. AI steps in by personalizing feedback and using simulations to help people see things from each other's perspectives. Managers can practice essential skills in a safe space and receive actionable coaching, all while the training itself is designed to be more memorable and transferable to real-world scenarios. Have you had any experiences with AI-based training? I’d love to hear more!

?? The Water Cooler

• When I read the headline “The End of the ‘Era’ Era Is Nigh” I giggled to myself and also breathed a sigh of relief. The context of the new Katy Perry song really helps explain why we need to use a new word instead of “era”!
• To celebrate Dries Van Noten's final menswear collection on June 22nd in Paris, Phil Oh (one of my favorite street style photographers) shared his favorite photos of Dries' iconic styles captured over the years.
• As I approach a milestone birthday, I find myself reflecting on aging, specifically my gray hair. I read this article from National Geographic that lays out the science behind gray hair—it’s not stress that grays you out! It’s stress that causes you to lose hair, thus making your gray hair more prominent. The more you know!
• If you’ve been in any big city lately, you’ve noticed the empty storefronts. But I bet you’ve also noticed the amount of new retail and stores that are currently being developed amidst our national housing crisis. The cause? Zoning prioritizes retail over residential needs in many areas.

?? Reflections for this week:

This week, we're focusing on the power of giving back to the community through volunteer work. It's not just about helping others; it can also enrich your life and strengthen your relationships.

• For you: Volunteering connects you to a cause you care about, fostering a sense of purpose and satisfaction. It can also help you develop new skills and build confidence. Even a small time commitment can make a difference. Explore volunteer opportunities that align with your interests and discover the positive impact you can make. Consider online volunteer platforms to explore a variety of opportunities that match your interests and availability.
• Your boss: Let your boss know you're interested in volunteering! Many companies offer paid time off for volunteering or partner with local organizations. You could even suggest team-building activities focused on volunteering – it's a great way to bond with colleagues while making a positive impact on the community. Volunteering as a social activity also beats any lame happy hour or boxed lunch! Your enthusiasm for giving back can inspire others within the company, and your boss might be supportive of these efforts.
• Your direct reports: Your boss might not be the first to sign up for your volunteer activity, but you can always start small and work just with your team. Encourage your team to explore volunteer opportunities that resonate with them. Consider flexible scheduling to accommodate their volunteering commitments. Review your handbook or talk to HR about volunteering to make sure you share the policies you have in place. Offer to connect them with volunteer resources or even organize a team volunteer event. Supporting their individual efforts through positive reinforcement can boost morale and create a more engaged workforce.
• Your co-workers: Sharing your volunteer experiences with colleagues can inspire them to get involved too! Casually mention your volunteer work during conversations or break times. Look for opportunities to weave volunteering discussions into existing social interactions. Perhaps mention a cause you're passionate about during lunch or share a volunteer story during a team meeting. Volunteering alongside colleagues strengthens relationships, builds camaraderie, and fosters a sense of shared purpose outside of the office.

?? And one last thing…

After two months of research and planning, I was ready to launch our new wallpaper product with my larger team. As with any team project, careful preparation is key. You need to consider everyone involved and how the new initiative will integrate with their current workload. I’d prepared what I wanted to say, had the handouts ready to go, and launched into describing the plan. I walked the team through the market research showing how we compared to our competitors. Even our creative team was on board when they saw the financial opportunity we had before our eyes.

As we began to discuss the next steps for each department, almost everyone at the conference table seemed relatively excited about the project. But then I couldn’t help but notice how Rachel softly but firmly closed her computer. She started rubbing her temples and her eyelids fluttered shut for a moment. Something about the way she was acting made it seem like she was overwhelmed. Or maybe she was just tired?

All of this happened while I was extolling the benefits of how I’d thought through the timing of everything. But something really struck me about Rachel’s behavior–was her reaction to something I said? I know she doesn’t like spreadsheets so I also prepared a two-page memo explaining my rationale. It must be that she saw the list of tasks and the number of them tied to her name. Many of the project details I was describing I’d already worked out with my boss, but I started to worry that we’d misread everyone’s calendar and there was no way we had time for anything new. I couldn’t figure it out, but I felt like I had something to do with her reaction.

I didn’t check in with her during the meeting to see if something had happened. That only occurred to me afterward! Instead, I felt confident enough to keep the presentation going. I looked around the room and most everyone else seemed engaged and clear on what this project was about. I had to let go of any “what-ifs” and just get on with the show. I also couldn’t dwell on the fact that I didn’t acknowledge her demeanor, but that doesn’t reflect the concern or care I have for her.

When I reflected afterward, I realized in the past that I would’ve let Rachel’s reaction affect my presentation–I would’ve tried harder with jokes or maybe sped through what was left, just to get it over with. The amount of responsibility I would’ve taken for her reaction would’ve made me feel so guilty. But instead, I walked out of our meeting feeling good about how it all went down. The mood was light and everyone was smiling by the time it was over.

As the afternoon wore on and everyone was working, Rachel and I worked closely on a small project that came up suddenly. She seemed like her usual self, and we got through that project like it was easy. It was almost like her reaction earlier might not have been about me at all.

So many of us care about our coworkers and how they feel. We don't, though, have to take responsibility for them or the way they react to things. In this case, by trusting my presentation and letting Rachel process the information on her own terms, I avoided unnecessary disruptions and allowed her space to manage her workload. This experience solidified the importance of self-compassion. It's about acknowledging our effort, trusting our preparation, and focusing on the overall team buy-in, not micromanaging every individual reaction. Walking out with a positive team spirit, even with a single colleague needing some personal processing time, is a win for everyone.

Monday mornings are for taking it slow,

Jon

Follow me on Instagram at @misterfantastik