The First Steps to Imposter Syndrome Recovery

Ok, so you're bloody successful in your chosen path – at least that's what everyone else seems to think!

But have you ever felt that your success is down to luck rather than your hard work and talent?

Or you might find yourself worrying that you may be "found out" as a fraud any day now because you've been conning your boss, your college, your colleagues, your clients, your friends, and your family for as long as you can remember?

Perhaps you feel that you don't deserve the role you are in and that someone else would do it better than you?

It may even be that you compare yourself to others in general and consistently feel that they are more successful than you despite objective evidence to the contrary? You just don't feel good enough?

Or is procrastination the biggest issue holding you back just now? Are you avoiding doing the one thing that will move you forward? Is the washing-up becoming more important than doing a workout, writing a blog, contacting a new lead for your business, or launching your new business? In my experience, this last issue is the #1 thing that brings people through my door asking for help but is often a red herring symptom rather than the cause of the problem.

Anyway, if you find yourself identifying with any of these descriptions, you may well be experiencing Imposter Syndrome.

What is Imposter Syndrome and why should you care?

The definition of Imposter Syndrome posited by Clance and Imes in 1978 is:

"an individual experience of self-perceived intellectual phoniness"

This a distinct issue and not linked to lack of confidence, self-esteem issues and is not down to genuine incompetence which is another topic altogether.

There's a false impression that Imposter Syndrome is a classified mental illness, but this is not the case. So, what is it then? Well, it's a recognised syndrome linked to experiences of anxiety and depression and is thought to affect up to 70% of people at one time or another.

I find it interesting that most people facing Imposter Syndrome (IS) symptoms do so around a particular situation to which they attached their identity. If you connect your self-worth to having a particular skill or talent, you're more likely to experience IS than if you don't, especially if you are a high performer.

While you may experience the thoughts and beliefs associated with IS and not have any adverse impacts on your life or business, some people find it can keep them stuck and playing small, not fulfilling their potential, and even ending up in treatment for conditions such as anxiety and depression.

The good news is that you can do something to help yourself which means that you don't have to put up with IS and can move forward with grace and confidence. Imagine how freeing that would be?!

My Relationship with Imposter Syndrome

The first time I remember feeling the effects of Imposter Syndrome was when my boss entered me for a selling skills competition. I was an incredibly good salesperson and had the skills to do well in the challenge – my boss wouldn't have put me forward if I were not a good candidate, would he?

The problem lay in my need to be perfect in the competition situation coupled with my innate feeling that everyone else was better than I was, and I would be sure to be "found out". This was something that wouldn't usually be a problem for me in my everyday sales conversations with customers. I would just get on with things.

The level of anxiety I felt was enormous and totally out of proportion to the scale of the challenge. Just horrible!

Of course, I didn't know what was going on for me at that time, I just knew that I felt awful and that I sabotaged my performance as a result.

I now realise that this worry about being discovered to be a fraud has led to any number of the poorer decisions I've made over the years.

I've procrastinated, let perfectionism hold me back, been on medication for anxiety and depression, and generally played very, very, small. This means that I've held myself back from offering my services to people to whom I know I could make a difference.

Believe me, nobody wins when you make Imposter Syndrome your friend!

First Steps to Freedom from Imposter Syndrome

In my practice as a coach, I use a variety of tools to help people work through recovering from Imposter Syndrome and, although some of the techniques I call on are best facilitated by a qualified coach, I want to introduce you to the following 4 steps that may help you start that recovery process.

Acknowledge the Problem

The first thing to do is to acknowledge that Imposter Syndrome may be at the root of whatever is getting in the way for you.

Do you sometimes feel like you are about to be found out as a fraud?

Do you feel like any success you've achieved has come to you by accident or because of someone else's efforts?

Do you feel that you have to work harder than anyone else because everyone else is better than you?

If you answer "yes" to any of these, the chances are that you are letting Imposter Syndrome get in the way for you and you can choose to recover if you choose to do so.

Disown the Label

Once you realise that IS has been an issue for you, the next thing I want you to do is to reject the label!

WHAT?!

The reason I want you to let go of the label "Imposter Syndrome" is that too often I see clients realise what's going on for them and start to use the "diagnosis" as an excuse for their lack of progress.

The irony is that, by doing this, people make it exceedingly difficult to move forward and they remain in danger of letting the syndrome dictate what happens to them.

What you need to believe is that you are good enough, regardless of whether you succeed or fail.

Let me repeat that: You are good enough, regardless of whether you succeed or fail.

So, let go of the label and change the beliefs that are the real cause of the behaviours you habitually exhibit.

Change the IS Habit

Now that you have realised what's been going on for you and have made the decision to let IS go, it's time to choose to change the internal dialogue that's kept you stuck.

Decide what you want to believe instead. Some suggestions might be:

I am unconditionally worthy

Everyone (including me) gets to choose their beliefs and actions

Making mistakes is part of learning

Perfectionism is an impossible standard and 80% is generally good enough

There's a point at which constant improvement doesn't add any extra value

I know that I am doing my absolute best with the resources I have

I'm not the only one who feels this way and it's not real

Write down these new beliefs and read them out loud at least once per day. Don't just read them, feel the feelings associated with them as you listen to the words. Take them on board until you start to believe them for real. Look for evidence that they are real. Get feedback and engage with other people who can help you to see things from a different perspective.

Progress Journal

Write down everything you accomplish in your journal for you to refer back to when IS rears its head in the future. As well as what you do, make sure to document how you did it too.

Remember, the beliefs that have kept you stuck were not formed overnight so they won't go away overnight either. It takes time, patience, and support to develop new, empowering beliefs that will carry you forward with confidence and ease but, if you make that choice to change and commit to it, you can finally become who you were meant to be and to own your success like a proper boss!

Client Story

Laura had been running her fitness business for 4 years when she came to me as a client. She was doing ok, pulling in ￡5K each month but had big goals and wanted to double her monthly turnover.

She’d done the sensible thing and had invested in training to understand marketing, joined a mastermind group, and had a mentor guiding her efforts. She knew exactly what she needed to do but something was holding her back.

She came to me complaining about procrastination. She just wasn’t implementing the valuable and potentially game-changing advice and learning from the programmes she’d invested in.

As we spoke, it became clear that Laura had some beliefs that were getting in the way for her. These unhelpful beliefs were behind her lack of action-taking and her inability to move forward.

She had persistent thoughts about what other people thought about her, that she wasn’t actually as good as they seemed to think she was. This constant cycle of “I’m not worthy” “It’s just luck”, “I’m going to get found out any day now” and “They do things so much better than I do, so who am I to compete?” was leading to procrastination and, when she did take some action, perfectionism was also rearing its ugly head.

Our goal in working together was to help her to consistently show up in her business, implementing the great stuff she’d paid coaches and mentors thousands of pounds for.

Laura recognised that her procrastinating and perfectionist behaviours stemmed from an underlying belief that, despite outward evidence to the contrary, she was a fraud in her business and that sooner or later, she would be found out.

The first thing we did was Time Line Therapy? to remove her unwanted limiting belief behind her experience of Imposter Syndrome. This involved taking her back on her time line to the root cause of the issue and then clearing up every instance of the experience back to now.

We then identified triggers of the belief and came up with an action plan to enable her to park the emotion so that she could finally take the actions she needed to take.

Fast forward to today and Laura has a thriving business that has successfully transitioned to an online model during the last year and is now consistently pulling in ￡11K per month. She is working fewer hour in the business because she’s let go of that need to be perfect which she finally recognises is not only unattainable but that there is only so much polishing you can do before any extra benefits are lost.

Are you letting Imposter Syndrome get in your way?

How is it affecting your ability to own your success?