First Step To Being Happy

I know how tough it is to look around us and feel that we may not be enough; feel unjust that life does not seem to be fair to us etc...

I still do feel that once in a blue moon but I am ok with that. It is just basic human emotions that I don't think anyone of us should deny ourselves of. However, I am mindful of how 'comparing' myself to others can affect me so I do it tactfully.

Here are the boundaries that I set for myself and hopefully, it may help you:

1. To begin with, there is no equal basis for comparison.

The TOP mistake we make, whenever we compare ourselves to others, is that

we only compare the visible (final) results.

For example,

• He has found a job quicker than me
• Her remuneration package is better than me
• He got a promotion faster than me
• She has such a loving family
• He is financially so much more successful than me
• It seems effortless for her to look good in her own skin
• ... the list goes on

Sounds familiar?

Let's not even mention our upbringing, culture, environment, and exposure, each one of us is so uniquely different that I am not even sure where to begin if you want to talk about FAIR comparison.

Life is never fair and it will never be fair, but I do believe that life is reasonable,

I do believe in the 12 laws of the universe .

2. If I really do 'compare', I am 'drawing references'

Comparison if done right means progression.

Instead of wondering why I did not get the results I desire and feeling bitter (and demoralised), better questions to ask will be,

• What did the person do right?
• What can I learn from the person? (on my own analysis)
• Can I be in touch with the person to learn from him/her? (even better!)
• Can I duplicate the same methodology to my own?
• If I can't duplicate the exact same model, what is relevant to me that I can implement to possibly change my results?

3. If I really want to find someone to 'compare', it will be 'me-from-yesterday'.

Keep a journal or sort, whereby you are able to jot down your reflections. Your reflections should consist of

• Goals for the year, month, week
• Happenings in the day
• What are you grateful for

Do it daily, and take time to read it every now and then. You will surprise yourself with your own progress or lack-of-progress.

Here's the thing:

1. Even though the results of someone else seems good to have, it may not really be what we really want.
2. There is no such thing as wanting the same results and not putting in the same effort.
3. And then again, how can we measure one's effort to another's?
4. We simply fear success as much as we fear failures. I've worked with so many people who subconsciously sabotage themselves.
5. Most of us do not know what we want and why we want it.

If you STILL have not notice, we are our own biggest enemy and own best comrade.

Becoming Irreplaceable ?aims to empower fellow professionals to build sustainable and meaningful careers, this is definitely one way for us to increase our own happiness index! It is really about taking the control back.