First sit still

Sitting still isn’t a skill I have ever cultivated. But in systems thinking, we must sit still in order to notice all the systems at work in our lives. Why? We cannot identify “what’s not working” unless we know all the systems at play and how they tie together.?

When we reach burnout or some version of life dissatisfaction, we can either grasp at solutions or we can sit in the discomfort, notice the spinning orbits within our lives and determine what needs to be tweaked or completely redesigned.

Here are a few examples of the systems that are interwoven in our lives as well as three mis-alignments I have experienced. There are, of course, many others. Perhaps this might jump start a systems-thinking “sit still” for you.

??Energy (food): how we fuel ourselves and our families is a process of selecting, sourcing, preparing, and consuming. It can use a great deal of time and financial resources but is necessary.?

There is more than one system to access with different trading mechanisms: restaurants, convenience stores, conventional grocery, farmers’ markets, food banks, growing our own, exchange/gift, foraging directly from nature (or the waste stream).

How we manage this flow of energy into our life impacts our health across all domains.?

?Shelter (housing): where we protect, comfort, rest, entertain ourselves is a system operating within a much larger paradigm of supply and demand, interest rates and geography. As we all know, this broader system’s strains are having ripple effects in many people’s lives.

It can be relatively challenging to step outside of the mainstream convention but many do it. These are the stories I feature on my podcast .

Often by redesigning this aspect, even if only for a season, these individuals are able to better balance other elements.

??????Personal relationships: our most close knit family and friend circles can be systems of mutual?support or complete chaos. These can be sources of great fulfillment and pain. However, these are the relationships that make us feel connected and valued. They also aid our sense of resilience in uncertain times.?

These valuable systems are often depreciated in favor of work. As humans in a productivity-focused world we are responsible for defending our need for more than an exchange of dollars for our time, attention and energy.

??Professional relationships: where social capital is built and/or we trade time and talent for currency and other things of value. This system supports our economic and mastery needs. It is also one that frequently requires redesign if it is derailing other systems.

Only by attempting something more advanced than taking basic care of ourselves are we able to contribute to a wider community, grow in our skill, and reach fulfillment of our human capacity. Our professional relationships (paid and unpaid) are a conduit for our own growth. When we reduce the financial load from other less fulfilling systems (consumption/shelter), we may be able to optimize for our professional mission aka financial autonomy.

??Economic: we live within a highly persuasive economic pattern that encourages our personal economy to align with the goals of the broader system. We decide the pros and cons of assimilation within the consumption-based model which only recognizes currency based value.

Though we cannot completely escape this system, as it encircles all the others, we can carve out a safe space for ourselves where our own value is sacred beyond our productivity. Say it with me. “I am not my productivity!”

??Relationship with self: it is here that we can sit still and notice both the smooth interplay and the ricocheting contra-orbits within the areas of our lives above. There is a lifetime worth of development available here in which new perspectives shift entrenched views and behaviors. When we see something differently for the first time, it can literally change the trajectory of our lives, if we have the time to notice.

“Sitting still” system questions that changed my life:

Does the economic system’s version of a housing ideal (buy as much house as you can afford) conflict with my need to have meaningful work in enjoyable amounts??

Do my professional relationships consume the available resources I would prefer to dedicate to my personal relationships or my mental/physical health?

Do I feel fragile and undernourished by being so dependent on the primary economic and food systems to sustain myself in uncertain times??

When we sit still long enough to observe the way that the default systems in our life are impacting other more significant values we start to find areas ripe for redesign.

If you want to see examples of life redesign, check out three case studies on my website.