The First Punch

The biggest problem with society today? Some people have never been punched (and some really need it!).

I was 12 when I first stepped into a karate dojo. I had been struggling with schoolyard bullies, and the school counsellor threw around words like "self-esteem" (a very 90s way of saying, "You need to believe in yourself"). I just knew I wanted to feel stronger, more capable. So, I kept asking my parents to let me do karate. Eventually, they said yes, and I’ll always be grateful for that.

By my early 20’s, life got busier—work, long hours, and long commutes made it harder to train and get to class. But by then, I realized something important: I didn’t need the dojo in the same way anymore. The discipline, confidence, and respect I had gained weren’t just skills for karate; they had become part of who I was.

Now, in my early forties, I find those qualities resurfacing in unexpected ways—perhaps because, as a business owner, I spend so much time helping others step into their own strength. Maybe it’s something else. But whatever it is, I feel different. I feel more like myself. And as I grow, I notice the ripple effect—not just in my work but in my relationships, my mindset, my life.

Starting out as a 12 year old white belt—a complete beginner—was intimidating. ensei and black belts at the front of the class moved with speed and confidence. They were strong, focused, and honestly, a little scary. As I progressed through the ranks—yellow, green, brown, then black—I encountered the challenge of kumite (sparring). That meant being paired with older, more experienced students, adults who were taller and stronger, and sometimes even black belts or world champions. It was nerve-wracking and anxiety inducing.

At first, I didn’t even know how to throw a proper punch. I was trying to remember the moves I had been taught, but everything felt clumsy. I got knocked down a lot. I got back up. I kept going. Then came my first real punch.

It landed. It hurt. And my first reaction? I cried.

I vividly remember sparring as a white belt against a higher-ranked student. He threw me around the mat, and I went home in tears, convinced I wanted to quit. But I didn’t. I went back. And over the years, I took more hits—punches, kicks, sweeps. I even took a punch to the throat once (which, for the record, is worse than a kick in the groin—completely stops you in your tracks). But the key is, I learned how to handle them.

By the time I earned my black belt, I had been through it all. During my grading, I was thrown across the room, backed into corners, forced to defend and fight my way out. But this time, there were no tears. The fear was still there, of course—but so was the focus, the discipline and the tenacity. I had learned how to push through.

And that lesson? It stayed with me far beyond the dojo (and in hindsight prepared me massively for my 30’s, but that’s a whole other story…).

Karate didn’t just teach me self-defence. It taught me resilience—the ability to take life’s hits and keep moving forward, the ability to stand within my own power. It gave me the confidence to tackle challenges head-on, rather than waiting for someone else to fix them.

One of the greatest challenges we face as a society today is that many people move through life on autopilot, carrying a false sense of confidence, never having faced real adversity. They have never been punched! And because of that they’ve never been truly tested, and never had to navigate hardship on their own. So, when life inevitably throws its first punch, they’re caught off guard—overwhelmed, waiting for someone else to step in and fix things. But resilience isn’t built by avoiding challenges; it’s built by facing them head-on and learning to stand on your own, within your true power.

So many people today struggling with this. They’ve never had to work through difficulty, never had to stand up after falling. And because of that, the first real challenge feels overwhelming to the point that many just give up and accept their fate.

Now, I’m not saying you need to be tough all the time. I’m not even saying you need to do karate (though it certainly helps). But I am saying that we all need to take responsibility for how we handle life’s punches like a job loss, loss of home, loss of partner, or for many mortgage holders in recent years 12 + rate rises from the RBA.

The first punch always catches us off guard. But what matters is how we prepare for the second one—because it’s coming, whether we like it or not.

So, when life throws that first punch, take a moment:

• Reflect on what happened – What did you learn? Where did it come from? Could it happen again?
• Prepare for what’s next – What can you do differently next time? What adjustments need to be made?
• Reflect on yourself – How did you handle it? Could you have responded better? What strengths did you discover?

Looking back, I wouldn’t have made it through the karate years without the support of my parents—my dad, who took me to every class, and my mum, who washed and ironed my Gi (which, let’s be honest, was just as much a labour of love). Without them, I wouldn’t have had the incredible experience of training for a decade, going from a white belt with no idea what I was doing to a black belt—the first phase of ‘true learning’ and truly understanding the art.

At the heart of it all, life is about how we respond to the challenges thrown our way. No one can fight our battles for us—not our parents, not our friends, not society—it’s up to us, and our true resilience comes from within. It’s built through experience, through setbacks, through getting knocked down and choosing to stand back up and push on. And just like Chumbawumba said in their song ‘Tubthumping’ (for you 90’s music fans), “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down!”

Self-reliance isn’t about never needing help; it’s about knowing that, at the end of the day, you are responsible for how you handle what life gives you. The world isn’t always fair, and it won’t always go to plan. But when you take ownership of your choices, your actions, and your mindset, you gain something invaluable—the ability to move forward with confidence, no matter what comes next.

?