First, know (and be!) thyself

It’s September, and although no one in my house is heading back to school this time around, I somehow still feel like things start anew this time of year. (Not to mention, this September brought the “new Yahoo” and my company really is getting a refresh!). For me, renewal brings reflection, and a few things from the last several months have really stuck with me.

One of them is a discussion series I hosted in partnership with The Female Quotient titled "Lift As We Climb". Named after the inspirational quote from Mary Church Terrell, the Black activist for civil rights and suffrage, the series took that theme into the realm of women’s leadership, featuring both established and emerging women executives sharing what they’ve learned along the way. I was truly blown away by how open, insightful and vulnerable these women, dropping wisdom that felt like gold.

?So much so that I can’t stop thinking about them! So, I wanted to share a few more thoughts on some of the topics that came up. First, on the subject of self-awareness: In my conversation with Sarah Iooss of Twitch, Dwayna Haley, now of Metro Atlanta Chamber and then at Porter Novelli, and Arlene Manos of AMC Networks, we got into how we came to appreciate our own styles -- or “superpowers,” as Sarah put it -- the strength they give us and the sometimes rocky road we took to discover them. A few nuggets I took away from our chat:

?1. Find your professional Board of Directors -- and lean on them!

Dwayna talked about the power of having your cadre of trusted advisors nearby -- to tell you the hard lessons you don’t want to hear, keep you honest, and distill insights from years of experience. As she put it, it’s not about knowing the answers but being open to the wisdom you receive. I certainly have experienced the power of mentors in my own career, and consider paying it forward a key part of my work today.

2. Use what you got (aka be yourself, not who you think you’re supposed to be)?

Sarah shared [17:05] her own journey to embrace that she is “nice”! This may not be the stereotypical model of her role, but she has come to appreciate that it has its own potent value which she should leverage, not shy away from. Arlene emphasized a similar point [5:20], expressing that there is no “born sales person” (though she prefers to call sales “product representation.”) She explained that her first role was from a team full of diverse personalities and skills, but they shared a strong belief in the product they were representing. It goes to show you don’t have to fit a mold; you have to use who you are and how you function as part of a team to convey your passion for a product. I couldn’t agree more: in my career, I have seen people who can talk to anyone, others who can put on a show, others who do the work quietly and gain trust through their steadfast work ethic. It really does take a village, and I’ve come to appreciate the power of a wide range of styles.

3. Be yourself -- it breeds connection

In Dwayna’s journey toward being her authentic self at work, she explained that her initial attempts to win every battle left her winning in the day to day, but “losing the war of her career,” as she put it. She explained how learning to let her true personality come through was the key to let her collaborate more authentically.?

It’s a funny thing, how we often hide and protect, then wonder why we aren’t connecting. No one is immune from this phenomenon, myself included! I’ve seen how my belief that I always had to be “right” held me back early on. It put me in a combative posture and often made people around me shut down. It was through the wisdom of a trusted mentor, willing to give me the tough feedback, that I realized that it wasn’t my job to always be right, but rather to engage the people around me to work together and learn as we go. And, of course, sharing myself is the way to make that happen.?

?As my roles became more about leadership and less about individual contribution, I have come to really see how a unilateral approach solves nothing. The last 18 months have certainly showed us all that we need each other! And showing up as who we really are is a key ingredient to our success.