First Impressions - bogies at 12 o'clock high!

I got the inspiration for writing this article from an ill-conceived notice that I spotted last year whilst on a staycation:

I was shocked when I initially read it, and it got worse on closer inspection, so I immediately took a photo of it. As far as first impressions go, just like those nappies (diapers), the message stinks! There are so many things wrong with it - the use of block capitals to indicate shouting, double spaces between words, poor grammar, the sarcastic and negative tone, and the unpleasant subject matter. It's unprofessional, and attention to detail is sadly missing - they couldn't even spell important correctly or should that be "coreectly"!

I suspect it was done to appease the cleaners, but it reeks of desperation. If that's how they treat their customers, imagine what it must be like to work there? When I look at that notice, I visualise a frustrated, angry, sarcastic manager with a potty mouth who's always in a rush, barking out orders, and laying down the law.

A perfectly acceptable message would have been something along the lines of "Please dispose of your nappies using the bags provided and put them in the designated bins."

It could have been a positive, friendly notice highlighting the provision of bags and separate bins thereby creating the impression of a thoughtful organisation with excellent hygiene standards - rather than a chaotic dumping ground for dirty nappies.

And a dirty nappy is not the image you want in your mind during the tour of a... chocolate factory, and it certainly put me off tasting any of the samples!

So, what was my lasting memory from that visit, and what do you think I talked about when I returned to work - the chocolate or the reason why I didn't buy any?

Waste of space

The sign in that chocolate factory reminded me of another shocking notice that I'd seen - it was above the urinals in the Reception toilets at one of my former places of work:

Please don’t wipe your nasal waste on the walls

It was a while ago, pre-dating cameras on mobiles, so I don't have a photo of it, but it’s stuck with me ever since. You could say it got right up my nose!

I remember someone had helpfully written "(bogies)" above the words - in case people didn’t know what nasal waste was!

I couldn't believe that someone in an organisation that was so brand conscious thought it was a good idea to put up that sign in the toilets that were also used by visitors and candidates waiting for job interviews.

In my experience, people with disgusting personal habits don’t pay attention to that type of sign, but it offends everyone else who would never do it anyway. I don’t believe there’s a middle ground - with people thinking "I'm going to wipe my bogies on the wall unless there's a sign telling me that I can't"!

Having said that, the sign sort of worked - the offenders started to wipe their nasal waste on the notice instead, but just like in golf, nobody wants a card full of bogies!

The situation should have been, and eventually was, addressed in team meetings as part of a general hygiene reminder, but only after I'd persuaded the Head of House Services to remove the notice. I've found that peer pressure usually works best - you should ask people to look out for and challenge antisocial behaviour when they see it. If they don't feel comfortable confronting the perpetrators face-to-face, they should report them. They shouldn't just ignore/condone their actions or wait for the nose pickers' heads to cave in!

Bogies don't pick themselves!

Bogie is also military slang for an unidentified or enemy aircraft. That got me thinking about organisations that strive so hard to create a great impression when it comes to the first call, visit, interaction, complaint etc, but then shoot themselves in the foot with these types of notices that seem to go under the radar. It feels like the enemy is within - in the form of poor message etiquette and a lack of judgement.

A wise person once said to me that the quality of an organisation's toilets gives you a good insight into its culture and values, so you should make sure you're sending out the right messages and not early warning signs.

You can ensure that your notices hit the mark by considering each one from the reader's perspective. Ask a trusted colleague to proof-read it, provide objective feedback, and review it against the following checklist:

1. Is a notice the best option - or is there a better way to address your issue?
2. Does it create a favourable impression of your organisation - striking the right balance between polite, professional, and friendly?
3. Does it use positive phrasing - letting people know what you want them to do rather than telling them what they can't do?
4. Is the message clear and concise?
5. Is it written in sentence case rather than BLOCK CAPITALS?
6. Are there any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors?

Using the above checklist, that notice in the chocolate factory would have failed on points 2 - 6, and it would have been re-written. That nasal waste sign wouldn't have seen the light of day due to the first three points, and the issue would have been addressed in team meetings.

Another bugbear of mine is seeing notices that are obviously out of date, so it's a good idea to add a 'remove by' date, if appropriate, and diarise to take it down.

I've captured the above points on a slide - I hope you find it helpful. Please click on this link to view it on SlideShare.

If you get your messages right first time, people will sit up and take notice. Then you'll have your colleagues and visitors forming a positive impression of your organisation - channelling their inner Bogie (Humphrey Bogart) and saying:

Here’s looking at you kid!