The first of the dictators.

The first of the dictators in my life was my second-grade teachers and at home, they were my parents. :)

Today, after being exposed to many parents, I can only say, no one had more lenient parents than me.

But they still were dictators and here's why.

If parents or teachers don't tell kids they are doing wrong by following my heart and not their instructions, they would always have felt everything is perfectly okay with them and they are flawless.

But it was their inability to do as they would have liked them to do and their labeling what kids wanted to or liked doing as useless, they learned to label themselves as useless. All that they love and choose to do is wastage. All that their teachers and parents tell them to do is everything.

But when these kids grow up and get wings, they close themselves to all kinds of authorities. And so did I. So much that it's my commitment to stay away from them till my last breath.

Which of course poses one small trouble.

While I have successfully got a plan to stay away from authorities... what will I do when I will have kids?

What if what I would like them to do is contrary to what they would love to do? Will I follow my parent's and teachers' way to give them the same messages, that what you want is useless and all that we wish for you is everything?

Being a fair person, and being against authority and doing my heart all my life, I will never agree to hypocrisy and do with my kids what I fought against my whole life.

But I know not all of what my parents and teachers tried to teach me was wrong. What I also know is all that I liked doing or did was not useless either.

We prefer things for a reason. It makes us feel good and it makes us feel it adds to us in ways that will be valuable and helpful to us in the future and in the moment.

So instead of telling children, what they are doing is useless or not that important, I probably will tell them, while what you are doing is important, can you also help me or do this which has its importance too.

And allowing them time to do what they wish to do and then letting them do what you wish to do, might actually allow them to look at both you and what you ask and them and what they want as important.

Maybe then they will think of you less as dictators and more as reasonable human beings. :)

They will have plenty of dictators to deal with all their life, so make sure the first 10-15 years of their life is free of them.

History confirms that kids, who were not born or exposed to dictator type parents or teachers at their starts, went ahead to do extraordinary things in their lives, while those who were exposed to such figures spent all their lives mostly getting rid of the bad effect that the dictator left on them including unlearning their idea about themselves, that they are flawed.

Are you behaving like a dictator in your home?

I remember a small story of a 6-year-old.

I was visiting this family and staying with them for a day.

In the evening in my desire to help the cleanup, I accidentally told the little girl... lets put up all the mess back into its place.

To which she didn't take a moment and angrily retorted... Don't call this a mess. These are my toys. If this is mess than the toy doll you got for me is a mess too. :)

I was startled by her words. And realized my mistake. I should have used the term toys. I instead decided to call it a mess because the room was in a mess with all the toys lying around.

Words we use around kids, matter.

When we tell our kids, their time spent on iPad or watching youtube, or their desire to go play with kids when we would rather finish their last piece of bread or homework, telling them it is not as important when it means the world right now, we are actually in other ways telling them, what matters to you has no meaning and overtime it translates what they want is not important and who they are as a result of that is not important.

And often time these kids take longer to find the confidence in valuing their work and what they like.

Stop being a dictator at home. Just as you don't like having dictators in government and organizations, kids will not appreciate having you as one either.

Fairness begins at home. But in your desire to be fair, do not become democratic around kids too because,

I thought I was the only one who was against democracy. This person is like me. :)