First dates and first interviews

First dates and first interviews: both are scary! I am single, so I’m probably not killing it on the first date front, but I do know a thing or two about interviews. Here is my point of view of how they can be similar and how you can learn from one world and apply it to the other.

A quick note about online dating: you can consider your dating profile to be the same as your application and resume. You want to highlight your best qualities without embellishing or using too many filters. If your in-person self doesn’t look anything like your online self, there may not be a second date or interview, so I strongly discourage putting things in your resume or profile that are not true.

“So tell me about yourself.” This is a phrase that can be used on first dates and in interviews, and in both situations confidence is key (but not to the point of cockiness). Keep your response to this question concise, appropriate, and applicable. On a first date, you may not want to start with stories from elementary school, and in an interview, you may not want to go into roles or education that aren’t relevant to the present role. Do your best to summarize yourself and experience in a few minutes. I know this doesn’t sound like very much time, but try speaking for this long in front of a mirror. You can cover a lot of information in three minutes. Much longer than that can seem like you’re doing a presentation, which isn’t the point of the interview. Plus, you want to leave plenty of time to talk about important topics related to your work experience. Do your best to include experience and education that is relevant to the position, and bonus points if you can connect your last sentence to lead naturally into the next question, which is usually…

“Why did you want to apply to this position?” This is a question that I see many folks miss the mark on. I do not recommend that you start by saying, “I’m not working right now because I was let go from my last job” or “I left my last job because of XYZ.” This is like telling your first date that the reason you were interested in meeting them is because you just got dumped or you broke up with your last partner. It’s not a flattering look. A stronger response to this question is to genuinely communicate what attracts you to the position. Is it the responsibilities? Is it the reputation of the company as a good employer? Hopefully, you know the reason you’re interested in the position before you apply, but if you haven’t nailed this down beforehand, please make sure you know the answer to this standard question before the first interview.

Talking about your exes probably doesn’t come up as often on first dates; in fact, for first dates, it might be good to avoid this area altogether. During a first interview, it probably will come up in the form of the question, “What was the reason for leaving your last position?” Here I recommend being honest about the reasons. You will want to think about this point carefully. For the same reason it might be a red flag if you start bad mouthing an ex-partner, it can be a huge red flag if you start bad mouthing a former employer, boss, or co-workers.

At some point in the first date, you’re going to know if you want a second date. If you want that second date, you’re probably going to make sure that something comes up along the lines of, “I had a lot of fun, can we do it again?” “Can I call you sometime?” or “When can I see you again?” At some point in the first interview, a good interviewer will let you know when you can expect to hear back. In case this was missed, don’t hesitate to ask when you will hear back. I also recommend asking, “If I don’t hear back by that time, can I follow up with you?” This is a polite way of showing your interest, and it subtly forecasts that you will not be ghosted.

There are probably countless other ways that an interview is like a first date, and I know that comparing first dates and interviews isn’t exactly a new hot take, but it is a fun parallel. For more thoughts, feel free to check out these articles.

Comment if you have your own stories or opinions about interviews and first dates!

• 5 Reasons Job Interviews Are Just Like First Dates
• The five stages of a first date (that are just like a job interview)
• First Dates and Job Interviews