First 30 days - Possessed by a dream & a purposeful courage that wouldn't stop

Today I went back in time, to a mentor I met early January, 2020 in California and I wasn't sure what exactly I was looking for, professionally. I had just delivered the best possible project, stretching myself beyond all means at InMobi - and yet, there was a part in me itching for something more in me.

He told me one thing - "Hypothetically, if you were given the job of the Leader you support - Can you do it ?". His direction was on developing a higher order of competence, and I knew the answer was negative, but I couldn't figure out why I didn't even want "that job". It was only after a lot of reflection that I uncovered that I wasn't looking for more of that kind, but re-imagining what I could build over my lifetime. A legacy that I wouldn't be afraid that I tried.

In days before I made the decision, I reached out to another peer at work, with extreme fogginess of what I would build. I joked to him - "People take an year off to do an MBA - this one is going to be one hell of a ride. And an unpaid MBA program" To which he replied, "Better than that". And hell, it sure has been.

"Relentlessness on Uranium" - that is just how a mentor recently described me when I was telling him that we often over-estimate how much we can achieve in a day, but severely underestimate how much we can achieve in a lifetime.

It's been 30 days since I started this unbelievably hairy journey. During this time, pretty much like a struggling celebrity I witnessed my inner most strengths, my fears, and often leading with just conviction. Here's the sum total of what I know so far.

People celebrate "starting-up" - but don't be fooled by it

Starting up is the easiest thing to do. What is difficult is not knowing where in that starting up, to start.

I had to remind myself that everything I did, would not be excel for other's version of success, but only my own. This meant that I had(and still do) many sleep-ness nights visualising what success means to me. And, I channel my talent, energy and time to these.

The hardest part - shifting your frame of reference

This is one thing, I have never heard any entrepreneur say, and I am confident that they are all lying.

When you were making shit loads of money - that frame of reference to "get back" to that level is very very compelling. It pulls you. Puts an artificial pressure to follow the accelerated pack - leading you to build more of another kind of incremental solutions.

Because somewhere you ARE afraid that people will judge you in next 4-6 months of that artificial lowest common denominator of how success is "supposed" to look like for YOUR journey. Stay away from that compulsion. Let go of the impulse to entertain such answers (with grace).

It's like the principle of thermodynamics that water goes to the even-ed out level. But having the courage to shut up this voice, enough so it dies down its natural death with grace, is important. Much like what happens in a loss of any kind - it's your mind's way of making sense of the disruption you have voluntarily inflected upon yourself. Give it some love, and peace. Groom it. And then see it become an ally.

Planning, Self discipline and Managing self

I am so blessed that between 2012 to now, I read "How will I measure my life" by Clayton Christensen over 50+ times, and it changed the way I look at investing in myself. Self Organising. Rebooting. Not falling for Marginal benefits but truly creating a vertical growth path for myself.

Every Saturday morning I did a planning for next week and reflected on the last week. This is something I picked up during my professional journey and is the best part of what keeps me going.

Contain entropy by planning for it 50-60% and be flexible to move the rest.

Here are the broad tracks I planned each week. And I made sure that directionally my energies were going into those broad buckets. Ofcourse I changed it, dropped/added multiple things - but it gave me peace to know that in all madness that can become, I had something in control. It was the anchor point.

Building the A team

Your top priority as an entrepreneur should be to put a committed team together that can self-direct itself to help scale you. Invest in them. Show them a larger future and then just take them there, with you. Products and Unicorns will build naturally on top of that. And do this with sheer authenticity. Rather than "cutting out tasks" as it makes your life easier in the short term. Now, go back to Marginal cost vs Marginal benefit fallacy. Tell them you don't know, get mentors, pair them up AND show how fulfilling learning can be, by first learning to lead with grace.

If you are not hearing (from your team) "Maza aa raha hai" - something is not working. A startup is supposed to feel like that - especially when not one of you knows the path. Invent it. Together.

The culture you build from Day 0 will end up building everything.

When you skip a Sunday family meal and make that 1.5 hours for an intern, you had set only 30 minutes for. And who probably won't "fit" your "company" goals - you are not looking at a 1:1 cost-benefit analysis. You are helping that person excel, even if they can't excel in "your" framework. I spent a lot of my time early on reflecting deeply on the culture I always wanted to build. It wasn't for walls. (It was even simpler, since we won't have any walls/physical presence for a really long time)

Shunya stands for tomorrow. For Future. For everything you can be. With a fierce optimism and a soul.

Because I waited for this clarity to arrive in me, it amplifies at all times, when I sense we are straying amidst the open ended nature of what we are trying to build. I even cancelled the call midway one day in the accelerator program - because I knew that we needed to take some time to reflect that what we were trying to build between us, collectively was doable. It only takes a perspective to see, and acknowledge that just because you can't solve for it today, doesn't limit your ability to solve it tomorrow.

Get & Give Quick feedback

The single most thing that can an entrepreneur can do wrong is to bulldoze into people. Marching orders. I tried to actively give feedback, collect it and tailor my own way of working. Sometimes I blended, I mellowed to close the "experience gap" that usually creates friction for effective collaboration. Eventually folks also started saying "What do you mean by - can you take that. Take what ?". We shared a laugh and my corporate'ish taxonomy. The second worst thing that can happen is when you build fences around believing others have to change.

As a leader you are influencing people all the time. And no matter, who is "actually correct" - you go places WITH people, fully ON. Not nodding the head in deference because of presumed authority. Assume that you will never know, but try to put down the guards as often as you can.

Short moments of delight

Imagine seeing an infant crawl suddenly. Or babble a new set of words. Seeing people become something better everyday, is delightful. For me, there were many such moments. One of which was when in the core track, we were researching on water solutions around the globe, and this intern had listed links. After a 20 minute explanation, we ended up defining a new framework to synthesize all the vectors in the products & Technologies that we were comparing. It was my best work ever, too. And then we spent some time designing a system from the barebones.

Working on a depth, breadth, lateral, sideways, context switching effectively was something I had NEVER worked in 13 years of my career. It re-inforced my belief that there is no limit to how much more you can grow.

Leading in very high ambiguity

Leading with an evolving vision, when there are many versions of what can become - is both challenging and liberating. It's something that deserves a post of its own. It is learning in motion.

Ambiguity can quickly transform into stress and into fear. It seeps. Breeds like mosquitoes on its own ground. But, much like matter, it can only be transformed and not destroyed. Don't make it a whack-a-mole that keeps coming. Blend it in your leadership style.

Do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know the side you are used to is better than the one to come? -- Rumi. 

Trust your conviction and have that SINGLE thing that will the you from a day to another. For me, this was as simple as the girls in picture above, I imagined to be using our product - and seeing their lives change.

No better time to take "calculated risks"

 There will be a moment in your life when you can't stop because that dream of what you want to build will possess you. There is no ore conviction or self convincing required after that.

For the really (very) tough days

Reflect. Be easy. Write down your thoughts. Have faith. It will come. Change the frame of reference. Anything worth building always can be re-built tomorrow and that sometimes just knowing that 10,000 ways won't work - is a better, deeper learning. Thank the process to have not put you in a pigeonhole. Life tests you to see how badly you want something.

“In a car you're always in a compartment, and because you're used to it you don't realize that through that car window everything you see is just more TV. You're a passive observer and it is all moving by you boringly in a frame.

On a cycle the frame is gone. You're completely in contact with it all. You're in the scene, not just watching it anymore, and the sense of presence is overwhelming.”

         —Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

It will be one hell of a ride. Invest in us, with your time!