Firefighting & the Monsters Around You

I recently took a leap from a very busy job right into a green field of nothing. After decompressing for a month or so I was finally able to take a deep breath and think about where I was in my life, what I wanted to do, what I hoped would happen next. Taking that moment was a really difficult thing to do during a pandemic where the beautiful parts of life like spending time with friends, enjoying amazing food and drink, and even playing sports with your friends were all gone or under heavy pressure. This led me to internalize a bit and realize how lucky I was in spite of all this and how I was constantly hearing terrible things from all over the globe. Try as you might, 2020 was a year that ignoring the news was near impossible and 2021 wasn't offering much reprieve.

Having lived overseas for a long time I knew that the situation outside of Canada must have been more dire. How many people were out of a job? How many people were hungry? How many people were mourning the dead? I wanted to give back to those that need it in what little way I could. Over the years I had interacted with many around the globe on my social media adding contacts that I had rarely interacted with who came from all different types of economic and social circumstances. I thought that it might be a good time to reach out and see if I could help them look ahead and get excited about the future.

Wow what a response! I was flooded with interest in having a one on one session. As I started the sessions I was confronted by people surrounded by death, people frustrated with how working from home was making them depressed and pessimistic about the future, others were earning money for the entire family and didn’t know how they would keep up with it as all their family members who had lost their jobs were sick. Death, fear, covid-19, and frustration, were everywhere.

The weeks of discussions were a very humbling time as I did sessions with people from India, Philippines, Mexico, and the USA. Through those sessions I noticed a couple things that I wanted to share with you all that may help you through these tough times.

Stop Firefighting

Every day when we wake up we stare at our to do list. Work, errands, kids, gym, phone, bills, the list goes on. All of it keeps our mind focused on the here and now. The beauty of tomorrow, next year, the next decade, is all but lost even though it sits there waiting for us. In order to be positive doing terrible things today we desperately need to know that it's all for the right reasons and that the future is bright. We need to know that if we do the hard work of laying the foundation that the beautiful house is possible. We need to know that if we suffer the terrible boss that one day there will be a reward. If you don't have hope that things will get better is it any surprise that more and more people jump from job to job searching for answers that never arrive?

My quick advice is to take a moment to build a list of hope and quantify it. Don’t tell yourself its not worth it or its not possible. No matter how silly they are write them down as a little bit of optimism will start to flow through your mind. Do you want to ride horses in Mongolia in one day? Finally achieve that 15% body fat? Earn a black belt? Sip espresso in Italy? Life is exciting and the future is bright and thinking about that future will only help transform your today. Write it all down no matter how silly it seems and come back to it when things seem desperate and dark.

After you’ve built up that little hope. Write down what you are not going to do anymore to “fight those fires” every day. Do you stop taking on that extra project at work? Do you stop spending time with that negative friend? Do you stop working that bad job just because the boss is making you feel guilty?

The Monsters Around You

The monsters around you are the others that do not understand who you are and do not understand what motivates you. What brings you joy and gives you the goosebumps when you think about it. They tell you you need to want that promotion, they tell you that you should have that fancy Rolex watch or care about what neighborhood you live in or who you spend your time with. They tell you that everyone should be an extrovert like they are or an introvert to be safe. They say that you can’t be happy unless you have a child of your own. All of these things are not who you are and are not what bring you joy. Social media has compounded this pressure on top of the pressure that already existed from your peers, your parents, your friends, and your co-workers. Most of the time the people closest to you will be the ones most guilty of being your “monsters” in this regard.

My quick advice here is to step outside your life and look at your repetitive actions. Ask yourself, Why am I doing this? Why do I even care about this? Is this job just a step to a different place or do I actually want that next promotion? do I see myself retiring happy after I’ve completed this career path? How much money do I actually need to achieve my joy? Take a moment for yourself and look at what you want versus what your monsters tell you to want. When you look at it from this perspective you can finally decide you don’t care about what others say about the promotion and focus on what will truly make you happy. 

I hope this quick hit advice will be useful to some of you out there and that you can see the future for what it truly is. People all around the world truly are beautiful and have so much in front of them. This includes you. There is beauty in diversity of thought, beauty in diversity of opinion, and beauty in the diversity of our joy.