A Firefighter, a Cop, and a Veteran Walk Into The Woods - Thoughts On Grit And Manufactured Hardness.

Most years, I spend a week canoeing and fishing in a remote and very wild part of Canada. We eat what we catch, and there's zero connectivity - providing some real life pressure in a very unforgiving environment... It's a hard 7 days, but it's one of my favorite weeks of the year.

I returned two days ago from this year's trip, and I find myself in the sweet spot between freshness and reflection - and I knew I needed to put pen to paper to help process it.

In my work at Team Red, White & Blue we spend a lot of time thinking about how we can challenge veterans to train for and accomplish hard things, mainly via the Big Fitness Goal (BFG). It's a proven approach, and tremendously useful in improving one's physical fitness and mental toughness.

It's not technically a BFG, but this trip serves a similar purpose to me - I do it so that I don't allow myself to get soft... While I exercise regularly, the reality is that I spend most of my days inside with climate controlled comfort, sitting in a cushioned chair. Spending a week in the mud and bugs (while experiencing the best fishing in North America, to be fair) is a great way to help keep me balanced.

While I love this trip, one of the main reasons that we take the time to do it each year is not simply self-serving, but rather because of our kids - it's important to my friends and I that we raise gritty, resilient children, and this trip is one of the best ways that we've found to do it... and here's why I think it works.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about and trying different approaches to raising tough kids, from sports to various protocols and chores (and everything in-between), and I've found most of these attempts to be ineffective. I grew up on a small farm in Michigan, and I think I was trying to recreate some of my childhood for them in some small way - at least the parts that I think proved useful for me...

In discussion one day with my longtime friend and coworker Blayne Smith , he proposed a rationale based on his experiences with his own children that stuck with me - these attempts didn't work because they weren't real... We were trying to manufacture hardness into their lives that didn't really exist. Our kids knew that there was no real existential threat if they didn't finish splitting wood - they weren't going to be cold at night because of the gas furnace in our house...

This trip, however, is the antithesis of manufactured hardness for kids... There are real consequences...

• Don't catch enough fish for dinner? Go to bed hungry...
• Don't get enough firewood or can't start a fire? Wet, cold and buggy night...

And that's why it works...

After reading this, most people probably think that we have to drag the kids kicking and screaming on this trip - that couldn't be more far from the truth... They love it and can't wait to go each year because it makes them proud.

And after writing this article, I think that might actually be the point of the story for adults as well as kids. Challenging yourself to do hard things makes you feel good because you attempted something real and meaningful - don't ever stop doing that, regardless of your age. This is especially important for veterans...

And if you need some help, head over to Team Red, White & Blue - we'll get you hooked up!