Finish Your F*cking Novel

End your fear of the blank page

There is a common theme amongst new authors,

and even old ones if I'm being honest…

And that is the very pressing feeling of "DOOM" which comes not only from the blank page.

But also the dreaded "Red Pen of Death".

*Manuscripts coming back from the editors, like a murder victim wrapped in a manilla folder.

When writing the initial first draft of your novel, it is incredibly important to follow these rules to get through the thick of it and actually accomplish - you know, writing a f*cking book.

Step one: Learn to shut the F*ck up

An author's biggest downfall is our ability to talk our way out of actually writing.

Masters of procrastination, we will start in depth conversations, creating stories and wonderful characters, and talk our friends and families ears off -

about a wonderful book we're writing, that doesn’t f*cking exist yet, because YOU haven't ever actually put pen to paper.

If you redirect the energy you use for yapping, to actually jotting the ideas you’re coming up with, down. You might actually begin to create something that’ll culminate into a real Novel some day.

Remember…

A couple lines a day is better than nothing at all.

So just get started already, before your parents start asking why you haven’t found a higher paying Job yet.

Step two: Turn the F*cking phone Off

We live in a world of distractions and pretty colors.

Living in end stage capitalism, means that we will be driven to seek out dopamine from sources like youtube, Instagram and Tiktok.

But, if we remove the device, or at least turn it off, and resist that urge of instant gratification.

You will find that after a few minutes of writing, you will create what is known as

Trumpet sound duh duh duh duh

A flow-state.

This is something every experienced writer knows and covets.

When we sit down to write, the goal is to reach this state of flow.

Distractions break flow, and authors NEED a flow-state in order to create truly compelling works.

Step three: F*ck It

We live in a world of technology, many new authors and even just the new generations cannot for whatever reason get past the blank page of doom.(old authors included)

But, they can talk, I know I said to shut the f*ck up before but this time I actually want you to speak.

Google docs has a new dictation tool which allows you to dictate, edit and give console commands. It’s similar to text to speech but it actually works quite well.

If you can talk and tell a story, then give it a try and watch as the blank page of doom disappears before your blue screen afflicted eyes.

Lastly For all that I have spoken take this next sentence to heart

STOP F*CKING EDITING YOUR WORK AS YOU WRITE

It is called a first draft for a reason, let your mistakes happen. Fixing these as you write will break your flow-state. And a flow-state, like I've mentioned before, is the most important aspect to being a successful writer. No matter the field, no matter the format, if you’re getting distracted by your own mistakes you will not make it to the finish line as quickly as you would have, if you simply just wrote down your first thoughts to begin with.

When you overthink, you usually end up f*cking it up worse. So please just learn to go with the flow.

And remember, unless it’s a major publication or medical discovery, don't take yourself too seriously.

And most importantly know that your self worth does not come from other people’s approval.

Even though modern society would have you think otherwise.