Fine-tuning your emotional intelligence to become a better leader

Here at Synaptic Potential , we conducted research and found 8 Hallmarks of High Performance - groups of traits that made up the best leaders and managers in companies that were the most successful.

One of these Hallmarks we’ve called ‘The Prosocial Diplomat.’

As a leader, you need to form deep, trusting, prosocial relationships with your team members that are built on mutual respect and an appreciation of the thoughts, feelings, interests, motives, and values of others.?

By fostering these prosocial skills in others, you can ensure that team performance is greater than the sum of its parts and that people have rewarding and productive relationships with their colleagues. This has been proven in various ways to be essential for the higher level thinking most organisations now require from their people.?

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Building empathy and emotional intelligence

71 percent of employers value emotional intelligence more than technical skills when evaluating candidates (Harvard, 2019), and for good reason.

However emotionally intelligent we may think we are, there is always room for improvement as a leader.?

One of the most common indicators of low emotional intelligence is difficulty managing and expressing emotions.?

Do you find it easy to have difficult conversations? Do you repeatedly blame others when projects don’t go as planned? Are you prone to outbursts??

These are all signs of a lack of emotional intelligence. To move towards becoming a Prosocial Diplomat, how we communicate with others will set the stage with our colleagues.?

Looking for a speaker? Synaptic Potential offers keynotes, workshops and seminars on the neuroscience of high performance. Get in touch with us for a programme brochure

The Qualities of A Prosocial Diplomat

We’ve found that there are four main traits of a prosocial diplomat:

• UNDERSTANDING OTHERS - Appreciates the thoughts, feelings, interests, motives, beliefs and values of others.
• DEEPER RELATIONSHIPS- Confidently navigates the deeper intimacies required to build strong relationships using emotional intelligence and empathy.
• BUILDING TRUST & RESPECT - Proactively invests time and energy building trust and creating psychologically safe, respectful environments and relationships.
• SELF-AWARENESS & ADAPTATION - Shifts, frames, adapts their own thoughts, feelings and behaviours to suit the person and situation.

Want to improve some of these traits? First, start with your mirror neurons.?

It’s the system that allows you to imitate the movements and actions of another person as a way of helping you interpret what they mean through “mirroring” movements at a neural level inside your own head. This action of putting yourself in another person’s shoes can also help you overcome some of the biases that can emerge when you see things from different perspectives.?

But noticing and decoding these social cues is only the start; to become a prosocial diplomat, you have to perform a “leap of imagination into someone else’s headspace” as stated by Simon Baron-Cohen, a Professor at the University of Cambridge.?

One misconception is that people often think that by showing sympathy for someone’s emotional needs or suffering, they are being empathetic. But empathy is so much more than that. In that way, you don’t just say, “Sorry to hear that,” and move on. The next step is to consider compassion…which is even more exciting than either sympathy or empathy.

Here are some reflections to consider:

• How do you demonstrate compassion for your colleagues? Is there a culture of compassion between them?
• How do you help your team members understand one another? Where does personal or professional sharing feature in your weekly business rhythms??
• Is openness and sharing encouraged in your teams?

I’ll be back in a fortnight with more insights from our research into high performance, so stay tuned for the next Hallmark trait of a leader!

Amy

Want a prompt sheet for some thoughtful questions that you can use in coaching conversations with people on your team? We’ve outlined 10 of our favourites in this resource-packed bundle for managers who want to upskill their coaching. Download it here:?https://synapticpotential.com/manager-coach-bundle/

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