FindingYour Path: Navigating Life Choices in Your 20s and 30s"
I have often heard people say your 20s define your personal and professional life more than any other decade. According to psychologist Dr Meg Jay, our 20s are the “Defining Decades” of our lives because many of our choices during this period determine the outcome of our personal and professional development. I know being an adult is nothing like what we imagined as children. Personally, I thought all I had to do was graduate from university, get a good job, get married to the love of my life, start my family, and grow old with my husband, children, and grandkids. I literally thought it was going to be as straightforward as that! But being in my twenties now, I know life is so much more complex than all of those fairytales we all probably envisioned it to be.
In as much as you can’t control all of the things that happen in your life, you still have the power to make some choices that would make “Adulting” a meaningful journey.
Staying Ahead Of The Curve
Navigating life in your 20s and 30s can be a challenging and transformative time, especially when it comes to finding yourself. Here are some insights to help you along the way:
Self-reflection and self-awareness: You’re more likely to make wiser life choices when you can truly say “I know who I am”. So take the time to understand yourself. Ask yourself meaningful questions about your values, passions, strengths, and aspirations. Reflect on what brings you joy, fulfilment, and purpose in both your personal and professional life and leverage them.
Goal setting and planning: Please don’t be a part of the “When that time comes” culture. Stop leaving your life to chance!! Because those who fail to plan plan to fail. Be very intentional about setting clear realistic goals for the different areas of your life, such as career, relationships, personal growth, and health. Not having standards or expectations is a recipe for premium tears.
Continuous learning and growth: Approaching life with a growth mindset is probably the best decision you’ll ever make. Why? Because the minute you do that is the moment you decide to never get beaten down by the challenges and oppositions of life. You see failures and obstacles more as learning and growth opportunities rather than setbacks which in turn makes you more receptive toward continuous learning and development.
Cultivating meaningful relationships: Are you familiar with the African proverb “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”? The importance of a support system can never be overemphasized. Try not to get caught up in the idea that you can do it all on your own because you most likely can’t. So, rather than burning bridges, invest in building and nurturing meaningful relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and your romantic partner. Focus on quality connections and prioritize open communication, empathy, and mutual support with the people who can inspire and uplift you.
Embrace Change and Experimentation: In the league of procrastination, lack of proper planning, and nonchalance, comfort can be a great killer of purpose and ambition. Why? As people, when we get too comfortable with a thing, person, or idea we sometimes don’t see the need to putting in effort toward making things better and this can be very fatal to development. Thus, be open to change and embrace new experiences. Step out of your comfort zone and try different things. Allow yourself the freedom to explore different paths and discover what truly resonates with you.
Practice Self-Compassion: You are a gem, so be kind to your body and your mind because no one is going to love or care for it as you will. Be true to yourself and embrace your uniqueness. Be very mindful about the things you allow access into your space. Practice mindfulness to stay present and grounded and establish healthy habits such as regular exercise, nutritious eating, adequate sleep, stress management techniques, meditation, journaling, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones.
She Said
Let's delve into the profound insights shared by Meg Jay, PhD, a distinguished Clinical Psychologist and Associate Professor of Human Development at the University of Virginia. Dr Jay's expertise lies in the field of adult development, with a particular focus on the unique experiences and challenges faced by individuals in their twenties.
Health and Mindfulness
Adulting would be an incomplete conversation without relationships and finances. Seeing as these two lifelong companions are known for shaking tables and are now considered some of the major stress factors of the 20s and 30s tribe, let's take a look at some mindfulness-based money questions to ask your partner and why they can be beneficial:
What bothers you about how I manage money? This question allows your partner to express any concerns or frustrations they may have about your financial habits or decisions.
Is your money my money? This question allows you to know what the financial boundaries are and whether you view your finances as separate or shared.
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How can we support each other in achieving our financial goals? This question allows you to foster a sense of teamwork and collaboration, and hold each other accountable for your financial commitments.
How do you envision our financial future together? This question helps you set joint financial goals, make financial decisions with intention, and create a roadmap for achieving your shared aspirations.
Is our money shared? Do we want to combine our finances? This question delves into the topic of merging finances and whether you both have the desire to combine your financial resources. It prompts a discussion about joint accounts, budgeting, and financial responsibilities, enabling you to make informed decisions about how you want to manage your money together.
How do you feel about money and its role in our lives? This question allows you to explore your partner's beliefs, attitudes, and emotions around money.
Be Inspired
Adesua Dozie makes history as Exxon Mobil's first appointed female vice chairman
On Monday, June 12, 2023, a significant milestone was achieved as ExxonMobil affiliates in Nigeria, Mobil Producing Nigeria Unlimited (MPN) and Esso Exploration and Production Nigeria Limited (EEPNL), announced the appointment of Adesua Dozie as the Vice-Chairman of the Boards of both companies.
Adesua Dozie, a true trailblazer, has made history by becoming Exxon Mobil's first female Vice Chairman of the Boards for the Exxon Mobil Affiliate, which includes Mobil Producing Nigeria Unlimited (MPN) and Esso Exploration and Production Nigeria Limited (EEPNL). This momentous appointment marks a remarkable achievement in the company's 70 years of operation, showcasing Adesua Dozie's exceptional leadership skills and expertise. Her appointment is a testament to the progress being made in promoting diversity and inclusivity within the organization.
Midweek Tip
It's important that you make the most out of your 20s and 30s, here are a few reminders to help you maximize your youth in terms of your career, finances, and overall health and happiness.
Highly Recommend
The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter And How To Make The Most Of Them Now by Dr Meg Jay
Utilizing insights from extensive experience working with numerous clients and students, The Defining Decade combines the latest scientific research on the twenties with firsthand narratives from individuals in their twenties. This thought-provoking book equips readers with the essential resources to maximize the potential of their twenties, revealing how work, relationships, personality, social networks, identity, and even the brain can undergo significant transformations during this pivotal decade. By making intentional choices and utilizing time effectively, one can navigate the unique opportunities and challenges that arise during this transformative stage of adulthood.