Finding Yourself as a Coach (or anything else)

Since I started my own coaching business in April, I was told I need to find my niche, know this, know that and become a social media queen. I have since learnt that there are many ways to gain clients and that what works for one person may not for another. For a while I felt pulled into these 'rules' and then it started to feel a bit draining - which is more than tired, it is not a good sign and for me, means something is off.

So I took a more experimental approach: the thought being that I am new to running a business and new to coaching independently outside of work so I won't know everything. In fact, I know very little. So I started to connect with other coaches, joined in conversations, seminars, volunteered as an observer with the MOE foundation for their new digital academy. I had a couple of clients with very different issues and I learnt I enjoyed one and not the other so much, so I now know I don't want to do relationship coaching! I also read and researched and listened to relevant podcasts.

I started to build a website - much too soon as I have not completed it yet as nearly every week there as been another step in my evolution as a coach and business. Nearly six months on, I am finally getting to the points that make my heart sing. This feels absolutely wonderful because the years of being a carer for my son took their toll as far as forgetting who I am and what I really, really want and since he left home a few years ago I have been seeking, but sometimes scrabbling around in darkness or thick mud at times. So to finally being close to those long held dreams is exciting, terrifying and curious.

The last few months, as I took each step has allowed me to join the dots and start to give myself permission to follow my own inner guidance outside of all the shoulds. I have some key values that drive my life that I realised I need to bring into my coaching business: integrity, truth, love, courage and creativity. Coaching is service, but to do it authentically, I can not deny all I have learnt, my own development and experiences and mostly that all this plus my values is what makes me ME. I believe we all have unique gifts in some form that are important to share with the world in one way or another and I cannot coach that without living it.

I realised that I have coaching skills that I use uniquely as me, but I am also a mentor and to some degrees a teacher and have been considering how that blend can best serve my clients or if they need to be seperate. I don't have a definitive answer I can write, but I can feel it in my heart, in my honesty with clients, but mostly in the results that come from my coaching.

The world has changed, but even before this we were in crisis and a new approach and big shifts were needed. Coaching itself is evolving, as a whole, right now because the needs of those it has helped has changed and is changing. I am excited to be part of it, but I feel in general this world is crying out for more truth, more authenticity and more humility as well as more love.

Rather than feeling we need to camp out in one region, it's important to examine what emotions are triggered in these crisis and own them; what are our values; how can we care more and how can we work ethically and together. The journey needs to go inwards for us to have true impact outwards. The world is full of facades; of 'shoulds;' of demands to conform to a narrow 'normal' viewpoint and lifestyle and huge fear of change. It is not working!

Hence, I now plan to coach as me; to learn when I am not and change it; to be humble to this whole process of my life and my business and to live as truthfully and as lovingly as I can. I am not an end product, no one is, so these are seeds/small flowers I am watering, but it feels really good. I feel better than I have done for a long time and if I feel better I can serve better.

So be brave, experiment, learn, allow mistakes and be compassionate with yourself and others. You don't need to know the final outcome, even though you may have a goal, be open to what life is showing you.

It's working for me.