Finding Your Way Through: When Awareness Campaigns Feel Overwhelming
Ruhee Meghani
Founder—Allied Collective | LinkedIn Top Facilitation Voice | Creating brave spaces for authentic wellbeing and inclusion through workshops that drive lasting organisational change.
The 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence is an important campaign that sheds light on a reality many live with daily. But if you're experiencing or have experienced gender-based violence, these intensive awareness periods can stir up complex emotions. This is completely normal, and your feelings are valid.
When "Just Leave" Isn't That Simple
The phrase "why don't you just leave?" echoes through many conversations about domestic violence. But those who say this often don't understand the intricate web that makes leaving far from simple. Relationships and situations are complex – there might be children involved, financial dependencies, shared lives built over years, or genuine moments of connection mixed with the difficult times. Sometimes, it's not about leaving immediately but about finding your footing first.
The Hidden Faces of Violence
Violence isn't always visible bruises or loud arguments. Sometimes it's the quiet control of your bank account, making you doubt your ability to survive independently. It might be tracking your location through apps you didn't know were installed, monitoring your social media, or using shared photos as a threat. These forms of abuse – financial control and technology-facilitated violence – are just as real and valid as physical abuse, even if they leave no visible marks.
Finding Your Way, One Tiny Step at a Time
Recovery and healing aren't linear paths. Some days you might feel strong and ready to take action, while others you might need to just breathe and exist – and that's okay. What matters is being gentle with yourself.
Small steps that might feel manageable:
The Reality of Resources
While helplines and services are valuable, we understand that not everyone has equal access to support or feels safe using them. If you're in a regional area, part of a close-knit cultural community, or facing language barriers, reaching out might feel especially daunting. Start with what feels safe and accessible to you. This might mean:
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When Awareness Campaigns Feel Too Much
During these 16 days, it's okay to:
A Compassionate Path Forward
There's no perfect victim, no perfect timeline, and no perfect way to handle your situation. What matters is finding what works for you, with the resources and energy you have right now. Sometimes survival means playing the long game – building strength quietly, gathering information slowly, and making tiny changes that add up over time.
Remember: Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are real. Your timeline is your own. Whether you're ready to talk about it or not, whether you name it as abuse or not, whether you're ready to make changes or not – you deserve support and compassion, especially from yourself.
If you need support:
Always prioritise your safety. If you need to close this page quickly, use the escape key or your browser's back button.
These 16 Days of Activism are about the lived experiences of survivors and those currently navigating abuse – not about the discomfort of privileged onlookers who have the luxury of turning away when conversations get too heavy. While awareness is crucial, this period centers the voices, needs, and journeys of those directly impacted by gender-based violence, particularly those facing intersecting barriers of race, class, disability, sexuality, and cultural background. If you find yourself bristling at these conversations because they make you uncomfortable rather than because they surface your trauma, consider that your role is to listen, learn, and take meaningful action rather than centering your own discomfort.