Finding Your Voice as a Woman in the Workplace

How do you advocate for yourself after being overlooked in a work meeting? And how do you set yourself up for success before the next meeting?

Our Women of Ascend leadership-development cohort engaged in empowering candid conversations this week about these situations that too many of us face too frequently: being overlooked in meetings, having our contributions ignored, or watching someone else receive credit for our idea.

Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant wrote about this "speaking while female " obstacle in the New York Times nearly a decade ago, and sadly this gender bias is still our reality today in many workplaces.

Ascend board member Kristin Yoshida astutely summarized the sentiment shared across our 60+ Asian American female leaders: “What is consistent with this group is that everyone is good about advocating for others. We are less good at advocating for ourselves.”

As one of our Women of Ascend breakout-group facilitators, I had the privilege of guiding discussions and capturing the challenges and tactics that we have faced as women in Corporate America. Here are my further reflections:

1. What does being overlooked feel like?

Shrinking in stature as silence follows what you had ventured to say aloud. Flushed cheeks when later in the meeting someone else repeats your idea and it suddenly becomes valuable to the other participants who seem to be hearing it for the first time. These experiences of invisibility feel deeply personal and isolating.

2. How do you advocate for yourself after being overlooked?

• Follow up by underscoring your point of view: Invest time in chatting with individuals who were in the meeting to ensure they hear your voice and your perspective; or reinforcing your points in a post-meeting email.
• Solicit feedback: Ask a trusted colleague, "Nobody seemed to react when I shared my point of view. How could I have presented it more effectively?" Their suggestions can help you refine your approach for future meetings. And by calling attention to this, you might even raise the awareness of colleagues who can re-emphasize your ideas as an ally in future meetings.

3. How do you set yourself up for success before the next meeting?

• Build alliances ahead of time: Meet with colleagues to share your ideas, gather their feedback, and -- ideally -- their buy-in. This may seem like a significant investment of your time, but it's a standard practice that I've seen chief officers ask their chiefs of staff do before presenting a proposal at an important meeting. If time is short, then consider emailing the group with your perspectives before the meeting -- which you could frame as getting the ball rolling; this will associate your name with your ideas.
• Create an opportunity to talk: Be proactive about getting on the meeting agenda to present.
• Self-reflect on your delivery: Invest time to understand how you communicate and how it is perceived. Adjusting your language, tone, and style to better resonate with your audience can make a meaningful difference. Our breakout group realized at one of our employers the company culture values saying "I," whereas at another one of our employers the company culture values saying "we," so these women caught themselves and taught themselves to make that subtle shift.
• Reinforce positive behaviors: Let individual colleagues know as soon as possible how meaningful it was to you personally and to your career professionally when they pounded the table on your behalf you. Perhaps they spoke up in the meeting that the idea people were getting excited about was the same one you had offered 10 minutes earlier. Or they replied to an email thread that you weren't part of by citing the relevance of your work and giving you credit for it. Or they asked that you be invited to the next meeting because of the value you would add to the discussion that pertains to your expertise. They may have felt that their advocacy for you was an easy thing to do or the right thing to do -- and you want them to know that it was an impactful, caring thing to do.

How do you voice your career ambitions in your workplace?

LaSandra Hunt , executive director at JPMorgan Chase, inspired our Women of Ascend cohort with an authentic look back at her career journey marked by courage to create opportunities for herself, resilience when things didn't go as she had hoped, and comfort with being uncomfortable so she could grow.

After nine years at the bank where she had started as a teller and had moved around to other entry-level roles, she felt her career had plateaued. Her manager wasn't thinking about her career advancement, and she didn't have a career sponsor. Hunt realized if she didn't grow, she would wither in her role and grow resentful. "I had to double down and roll up my sleeves and be a little brave," she recalled. She looked at careers outside of her role and even out of state. Hunt blazed a new trail in the bank's California market by applying for and getting a job in a different division, the Commercial Bank, where she is a leader today.

"What I would tell my younger self is I should have reached earlier. I would have really looked to advance my career path versus waiting," Hunt told us. "In this world no one's going to come tap us on the shoulder, so getting out ahead of your career path is an advantage."

Hunt's advice for overcoming plateaus centers on vocalizing your career ambitions:

• Meet with your employers' recruiters so they can help you navigate to internal openings
• Look at other companies' job openings that don't exist as roles at your employer and pitch your company on letting you create that role for here
• Tell your superiors what roles you aspire to. Ask for feedback on what are your shining skills and what are your development areas.
• Tell leaders that if now isn't the time for you to change roles, then you understand and you want to stay super connected because things are moving fast. Force a more frequent touch base -- such as monthly or quarterly conversations -- to stay in step with innovation because you want to know where the firm is moving to, you want to contribute, and you want to be at the top of the list.

Sometimes we refrain from revealing our career ambitions to our bosses because we figure they might worry that we'll compete against them for a role or that they won't support us because they'll have a hard time backfilling us as high performers. However, "any manager worth their salt should support career advancement -- and they should have aspirations as well," Hunt pointed out. "You've got to acknowledge they will have a hard time replacing you. So how are you going to help them find a replacement?" Be a solutions architect: Help your bosses get comfortable with helping you.

What are other ways in which you are finding your voice as a woman in the workplace? Share your tips in the comments so we can continue learning from one another!

Thank you for the thought-provoking discussion Women of Ascend cohort and program staff: Enya Chiu Lisa Manzo, Ed.D. Sharlene H. Justina Yoo Christina Jithin El (Eleanor) Wong CPIC, CFP, Change Practitioner Christen Lee Sally G. Doreen Dongli Liang, CPA Meilani Georgis Sunita Patel, MBA, RN, WCC Khaya C., M.A., PCC Sheetal Pai-Wechsung Shraddha Prabhu Crystal Typermass Tess Shih Marilyn Adan Rachel Huey Desiree V. Tracy Jacquez Melissa Lee, CISA Elaine Zhou, CPA Yen Lin Chung Priyanka Saha, FCA Anchal Sharma Anum Nayani - MBA Olivia Rulin Zhang, CPA Shirley Louie Eva Gooi, CPA Stephanie Yokoyama Loriann Wang, MST, CPA Kalyani Martinelango Yvonne Hillis Siyang Gao, PhD, PMP Joyce Chua Lakshmi Elumalai Tina Cheung Sana Hussain, CPA, CA, MBA Gillian Chu Kamini Sheth Srinivasan