Finding Your Purposeful Path

I make no apologies for this much longer than normal post, because what I share here is increasingly a major part of so many conversations, that it deserves discussing properly. I hope you find it interesting.

To embark upon a purposeful life, you must know yourself, determine how you want the world to view you and then define your intent. In those reflective moments which we all get, how do you consider your life story is unfolding? Is it as you would imagine being written up, or potentially turned into a film? Is it an initial set of scenes before the climax of the story? Are you appearing heroic in your own story?

When we talk in these terms, we are also talking about your true story, not an airbrushed, shallow version set to impress via social media, but the truthful story which you know better than anyone. This is important because only by being truthful to yourself and about yourself can you start to build out a true, authentic personal purpose.

To do that you need to form in your own mind understanding of who you are, your values, your dreams and ambitions.  By finding your personal purpose, you will find it enhances your levels of enthusiasm, energy, resilience and positive thinking. You will be better able at discerning what is a distraction to you, contrary to your purpose, making decisions easier and better. In turn the more decisions you make based on your purpose, the more satisfied you will feel and generally happier in truth of your efforts and work.

By sheer co-incidence, American writer Mark Twain visited my home in Shropshire twice, his statement about the two most important days of your life is well known, but consider these words as well;

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  Mark Twain

 In determining your purpose, think about what you have already spent time on, your existing commitments and plans. Ask yourself how many of these would you now choose not to do, which appear to be contrary to your purpose, or simply add nothing to your experiences? Reviewing the past will help you consider what activities you would prefer to focus on and which you will now be determined to reduce. If you consider things which you will regret not following through on, then you will have a sense of where your focus exists. Another, this time great English writer said;

“The only failure one should fear, is not hugging to the purpose they see as best”. George Eliot. Eliot, was a leading Victorian English novelist, poet, journalist

Having purpose is a powerful leadership motivation. Even if you haven't considered yourself in that vein before, you will find that with purpose will come a perception by others that however modest or unassuming you may be, your sense of purpose is infectious. You will end up being attracted to those who have a complimentary purpose and they to you. This may well amplify your passion and enthusiasm in a way which makes others follow your example. In so doing they have created in you a leadership role and with that comes responsibility. I have had the privilege of collaborating with Paul Polman ex-ceo of Unilever and his thoughts are; “The basic skills of leaders are always the same: be driven by a deeper purpose, be a human being, have a passion for what you do, and it's also about hard work and ethics.”

 Sometimes purpose can emerge from a personal tragedy or seeing something wrong in the world which must be addressed. Although some struggle with such matters, most of us are able to derive some meaning in the face of adversity and if some good can come out of it, either, for ourselves or others then this is good. It is the manifestation of our human spirit and how humans have prospered. The good that people make from the bad, has shaped history, from medical advances in wartime to great social and environmental initiatives. We can find personal growth, insight, and compassion through tragedy.

“Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose” Robert Brault: Brault is an American Author and Philosopher

 Indifference exists in the world, as a manifestation of a simple nature and the environment within which we live. However, the solution to the world’s indifference is to ensure one never becomes indifferent oneself. If you succumb to the feeling of not caring about others, about yourself, your life and those of others, then not only are you doomed but those around you will be at loss as well. Taking an action to improve any life even if your own life may not be as you would hope, ensures your human connection to the world and is the basis of a purposeful life.

 “The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death ... our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.”   Stanley Kubrick

 Stanley Kubrick was an American film director, screenwriter, and producer. He is frequently cited as one of the greatest filmmakers in cinematic history.

The phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ is true, but extending the analogy, action is simply the means of making the sound – not the tune which lingers. What people will remember will be how your actions touched them emotionally and this will be based upon human values which you can express through your behaviour. Instead of being resigned to the status quo, thinking there is nothing you can do, become purposeful and become the example to others – in so doing you will help change the world.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  Maya Angelou: American poet, singer, memoirist, and civil rights activist.

 Taking charge of your own purpose and life may be an act of personal responsibility, but it can be daunting.  It requires you understanding the responsibility to yourself and how you change both our life and manifest your purpose on the world around us.  Purposeful people make a difference. Each and every one of us has the capacity, in small and larger actions, singularly and collectively, to be the change that we wish to see. To ‘be the change’, identify your personal purpose, live the values important to you, set an example in your own life that is the opposite of all the bad you see in the world.

“You must be the change  you wish to see in the world”. Mahatma Ghandi: Indian activist, leader of the Indian independence movement against British colonial rule

When we were children, we probably were asked what we wanted to do in life. Once asked few of us then follow such a path, but that does not mean we cannot revisit the question. Destiny is shaped by our decisions; it isn’t the other way around. We have the capacity for a unique path, one that we can choose for ourselves and aim to fulfill a destiny we determine, not which is determined by others. “It’s never too late to become what you might have been.”   George Eliot

 Life has vicissitudes, it comes at us in unexpected ways both positive and less so. However, for many people, routine means mundanity, something which the purposeful life addresses. But in taking time to understand oneself within such a routine requires you to take yourself out of your current world.  Find the means to detach yourself, by mediation, reading, playing, walking, or practicing the arts or singing. Find the means through which you can be moved either on an intellectual or emotional level. The purpose of such different exposure is to cause a reaction within you, so that it can create a change; a change in attitude, views or your world view.

Pablo Picasso: Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker, ceramicist, poet and playwright

 To look inside, to ask yourself what you are, is an assessment of the traits of your character and life to date. Think through your temperament, those inborn preferences, which shape your reactions and actions. Try and understand what excites you, what makes you happy or sad. Review your strengths, what people admire in you, any talents or skills which have manifested themselves. Are you confident, emotionally intelligent: what makes you ‘tick’.

What have been the most meaningful events of your life to date?

 “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams. Who looks inside, awakens”  Carl Jung: Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology. His work was influential in the fields of psychiatry, anthropology, archaeology, literature, philosophy, and religious studies

If you are going to make life changing decisions, make sure they are BIG ones.

Make them based on self-analysis, in a clear and confident mental state, putting yourself in the best position to achieve something remarkable. It is your responsibility to put yourself into such a clear mindset, each and every single day. You cannot control the weather, what your boss’s mood is, the pile of work you have ahead, but you can control your attitude, each and every day you rise. So, choose to be courageous, noble, happy and ambitious – why would you choose to be anything less, and make your actions follow your attitude.

 Cecil Beaton was an English fashion, portrait and war photographer, diarist, painter, interior designer and an Oscar–winning stage and costume designer 

 Socrates' claims that only in striving to come to know oneself; understand ourselves; do our lives have any meaning. Aligned with this is that goodness feeds wisdom and If we refuse to question ourselves and the world, we will act without reason, unable to distinguish good from bad and lack wisdom. The good life is one in which through your actions and purpose, you make both ourselves and those around you happier and better off. The only way to pursue life is to pursue wisdom and self-knowledge and the key to this is purpose.

 “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates: Greek philosopher one of the founders of Western philosophy, and the first moral philosopher.

 Question yourself and be honest in how well you know yourself. Then consider how you wish to best project yourself, your character, your personality, to the world. Once you are clear on your motivations, you can more easily consider your future intentions and the audience, the people in the world, or the world issue, which you aim directly to have a positive effect upon.

 ALIGNMENT = KNOWLEDGE = of yourself, your purpose & how the world sees you

 FINDING WHY ? . You now know the value of identifying purpose in your life, have assessed yourself, how you want the world to view you and how you will present your ‘Why’ to the world. Now you must understand and define it. Why do people find it hard to find purpose in life? There is no shortage of causes one could adopt or problems that need solving. Somehow this doesn't always mean that a life purpose simply emerges. The reason is that as we now know, one needs to start with oneself and then apply oneself to finding the place for your skills, interests and passion. Equally, sometimes we might consider ourselves too insignificant to make a difference. You may ask yourself who you are to think yourself special enough to have an influence on the world. But you must change that and in order to do the thing we should all do, namely live our life to the full.

 “The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for”. Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Passion is a key to your purpose and acts as a powerful force. Understand how your passion, depending on your character, can both manifest itself and identify where your purpose can lie. Passion is the energy which will fuel you beyond the point where others would give up. It is that which will fill you with meaning, drives you to go beyond boundaries, to exceed expectations.  It is what fuels Olympians, the artists, musicians, scientists and business people. It makes us love people, places and is the driving force behind success and the happiness that allows us to live our life.

 “If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose “  TD Jakes: pastor, author and filmmaker.

 People grow up wanting certainty in their lives, they crave clarity, direction and stability in their circumstances. As such this can mean that regardless of a passion, people hold back from acting on their deepest wishes. This creates a disparity between the inner desire for change and the outer requirement for stability and safety. However, if you can achieve an inner sense of security, through clarity of purpose, you will be more confident in chasing the uncertainty of dreams. Such is the need for courage, to step out from the security of the mundane to embrace what your dreams might become.

 “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt American entrepreneur, animator, voice actor and film producer.

 Often, the difference between actually achieving your goals and simply having them is your own view of the world. It is a mindset, a perspective which either can propel you forward or hamper every move. The only way to pursue a purpose is to think of what you want, not as an unobtainable dream, but rather as specific, achievable goals that your passion will energize you towards. Expectations are a big part of results.  If you wish for things, but you don’t think you have the energy to overcome an obstacle, or the skills, money, contacts or whatever, then you will be applying wishful thinking not purposeful thinking and it will stay a wish unfulfilled. “Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.” Washington Irving: American short story writer, essayist, biographer, historian, and diplomat of the early 19th century. Best known for "Rip Van Winkle" "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow"

 Start asking yourself key questions. What makes you happy? What type of work, people, activities and places engage you in such a way as to make you feel happy and content?What makes you feel you are doing something special? What makes you feel great about the contribution you can make and yourself as a result? What do you like doing the most of? What are your favorite types of jobs. What in the past made you feel passionate about working on?These start to build up a simple but important picture of where you would be most content and most likely to do your best work

Michael J Fox.  Canadian-American actor, comedian, author, and film producer

Then consider the following: Who individually or which type of people do you most admire and who you find inspiring? This can be either personally or professionally, those you know personally or from the media, but what is it you admire, what qualities in them and what is it about the work they do?

If you consider that you want to emulate them in their impact; want people to admire you as you admire them; then you will also need to consider what people consider you have which they admire and what they would ask your support on and why?

 When you get to the point of looking back on your purposeful life, what would you regret not doing?  What would you miss having in your life? Think about all that you will hope to have achieved, what experiences will you have hoped to have had? Think of all the relationships you will have had.  Determine what it is that you will have valued and regretted. If you seek a happy life, then clearly the indicators from the above questions will guide you in terms of how to achieve it.

For life, one needs to be resilient. No matter how privileged, safe, secure or insular your life may be, you will find times in life which don’t go as you would have hoped.   The death of a loved one, the loss of a role, or disappointment in attainment, will make you feel despondent. People with purpose have greater reserves of moral strength, they have persistence born out of purpose and as such have the ability to overcome.

 “He who has a ‘why’ to live for, can bear almost any how.”     Friedrich Nietzsche

 Nietzsche was a German philosopher, critic, composer, poet, philologist and scholar whose work has exerted a profound influence on Western philosophy and modern intellectual history.

We need to acknowledge that a purpose of life, being happy, is only possible if one recognizes that a purpose provides something which no matter the amount of money or ‘things’ can actually do. This goes beyond the material to the experiential, to what you feel rather than what you have, to what you create rather than consume.

 "The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out, eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience" Eleanor Roosevelt: American diplomat, activist and First Lady of the USA from 1933 to 1945 during her husband Franklin D. Roosevelt's four terms in office.

 Life is full of times when you have to face challenges.

There can be major family tragedies, or lesser disappointments such as an academic failure or a business or professional issue. However often you face these, your own character will need to become resilient and such resilience can be enhanced by accepting that such periods simply require greater focus. Others will have survived whatever the issue is, but your chances of prospering are enhanced by a clarity of understanding and a direction created by your purpose.

 “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of. meaning and purpose “     Viktor Frankl: Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor. Frankl was the founder of logotherapy, which is a form of existential analysis, the "Third Viennese School of Psychotherapy".

 Find your purpose by thinking through the experiences which have had a major impact on you, what you think and how you feel.  Understanding how you do your best work, are most happy, confident and motivated, allows you to focus on creating the future circumstances around which you will be best able to work towards your purpose.

 In summary, decide what in the world you care about, believe in your ability to work towards it and define a simple statement that is authentic and true. Once defined, it is beholden upon you to share it as much as possible and with as many people. Through these three you will gain most success.

 ALIGNMENT = PURPOSE of your experiences, of your preferred work, practices & passions