Finding Your Places In The Sun: A Journey Within

Like a long lonely stream I keep runnin' towards a dream

Movin' on, movin' on

Like a branch on a tree I keep reachin' to be free

Movin' on, movin' on

'Cause there's a place in the sun

Where there's hope for everyone...Stevie Wonder

Seeding Serendipity

I was out at a long leisurely dinner the other night with business colleagues. Discussing our individual styles and successes, somehow the impact of childhood and growing experiences came into the discussion.

Aha moments kicked in for me as I was reminded of the value of earlier lived experiences paying forward into later life mindset and behaviour, which in turn led to personal success in my work with my clients.

Finding meaning and purpose in life is a fascinating enriching quest that evolves as we grow and experience the world. For many, the journey starts young, influenced by societal norms and personal experiences.

This article explores the development of higher values, meaning and purpose, drawing from the life of someone who grew up as a child of migrants, faced various adversities, and ultimately found meaning through education, enforced and catalytic changes, self-discovery, and entrepreneurship.

Weaving in themes from Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey, James Hollis's perspectives on meaning in the second half of life, Robert Holden's insights on Higher Purpose, and the foundational themes of love, self-awareness, serendipity, and possibility, we can see how the call to adventure and the trials faced along the way shape a fulfilling life.

The Roots of Resilience

Growing up as children of migrants fleeing war and settling on a distant tropical island paradise in the South Pacific comes with unique challenges and opportunities. In such a situation, life was often a mix of limited means and yet rich cultural experiences living in a multicultural country. Despite the beauty of their surroundings, the reality of economic hardship was ever-present. This environment fosters imaginative playtime, resilience and the development of higher values from a young age.

Early Adversity and Growth

One of the defining adversities I faced was childhood asthma, a condition that requires careful management and teaches the importance of self-care and perseverance. A path of education became a vital escape route from the limited career possibilities in a small developing country. Attending boarding school at the age of 12 provided rich academic opportunities and also instilled a sense of independence. These experiences collectively shaped an increasingly strong, self-reliant individual.

The Call to Adventure

The call to adventure often comes as a compelling urge to break free from the familiar and explore the unknown. For some, this means traveling solo around the world to see and understand different cultures, landscapes, and ways of life. For some, it's about changing careers; for others it may be about leaving relationships.

For me the solo journey was a combination of everything - education, career changes, relationship breakdown, relocating countries, and a solo trip on a round the world air ticket. The thrill of doing it all in the space of a year; a pivotal moment that initiated a transformative journey.

Navigating Life’s Challenges

Life’s journey is rarely linear, and for many, it involves significant personal challenges. Getting married too young and experiencing the pain of divorce and breakdown can be profoundly transformative. These experiences, though painful, often catalyse deep introspection and growth. They push individuals to explore new realms of real life, seeking self understanding, new meaning and understanding of life’s complexities.

Shifting Geographies and Mindsets

Shifting countries further broadens one’s perspective. The exposure to different cultures and ways of thinking enriches the quest for meaning. This journey is not just about physical relocation but also about mental and emotional transformation. The search for a new purpose often leads to the discovery of passions that were previously unexplored.

Embracing Serendipity and Possibility

The Magic of Serendipity

Serendipity plays a vital role in shaping our journey. Changing our surroundings and exploring new places brings unexpected encounters, unplanned opportunities, and happy accidents often lead to some of the most meaningful and transformative experiences. I met new friends, received unsolicited mentors and in quick time found a new job with a great employer, all of which reshaped my life and me.

Embracing serendipity means being open to the unknown and being willing to explore new paths as they appear.

The Power of Possibility

Possibility is about seeing potential where others see limitations. It’s about believing that there is more to life than what we currently see and being willing to take risks to explore those potentials. This mindset can lead to remarkable discoveries and achievements, turning dreams into reality.

In my new country, I went to night classes to study psychology, philosophy and languages. I then completed a post graduate degree in management and again established new friendships. This in turn enabled me to pivot from being a CFO into the world of being a General Manager in my workplaces.

From Corporate Confines to Entrepreneurship

Escaping the confines of corporate life becomes a pivotal moment. Establishing one’s own business, initially in CFO roles and later transitioning into management consulting and business advisory, brings a sense of autonomy and fulfillment. Entrepreneurship is not just about business; it’s about creating a life that aligns with one’s values and aspirations.

Empowering Others

As a Business Advisor, empowering business owners provides a profound sense of meaning purpose. Helping others achieve clarity and confidence intertwines their success with your own sense of fulfillment. This role transcends mere professional engagement; it becomes a mission to uplift and support others on their journeys.

Embracing Life’s Cycles

Psychologist James Hollis, in his exploration of the second half of life, emphasises the importance of embracing life's cycles and the quest for deeper meaning.

The first half of life is often focused on building identity, establishing careers, and creating families. However, as we transition into the second half, there is a shift towards introspection and understanding the larger questions of existence.

The Middle Passage

Hollis refers to the midlife transition as the "Middle Passage," a period where individuals often face a crisis of meaning. This crisis prompts a re-evaluation of life’s priorities and a deeper search for purpose beyond societal expectations. This phase is about shedding old identities and embracing a more authentic self.

Lifelong Learning and Mentorship

Education is not confined to classrooms; it’s a lifelong pursuit. Every experience, formal or informal, contributes to personal growth. Mentorship, in particular, bridges generations, creating a beautiful exchange where knowledge is shared and wisdom is gained. This ongoing learning process keeps the mind agile and the spirit vibrant.

Finding New Companions on the Journey

Lifelong learning also involves meeting new companions along the way—fellow travelers who enrich the journey with their perspectives, experiences, and wisdom. These relationships, whether personal or professional, add depth and dimension to the quest for meaning. They remind us that while the journey is deeply personal, it is also shared.

Higher Purpose

Happiness psychologist Robert Holden’s work on Higher Purpose emphasises living a life that aligns with one’s deepest values and passions. He suggests that a higher purpose is not just about achieving goals but about experiencing joy, fulfillment, and connection.

The Power of Self-Reflection

Regular self-reflection is vital in the quest for meaning. Taking time to reflect on personal values, goals, and experiences helps to align daily actions with a deeper sense of purpose. Self-reflection encourages continuous growth and adaptation, ensuring that one's path remains true to their evolving self.

Fundamental to self reflection is seeking honest feedback from your close friends so as to get past your own blind spots. Good friends will also keep you honest and humble with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Hubris and excessive ego are kicked out the door.

The Foundation of a Meaningful Life

The Role of Love

Love, in its many forms, is a cornerstone of a meaningful life. Whether it is love for family, friends, or a significant other, these deep connections provide support, joy, and a sense of belonging.

Love also extends to the broader community and humanity, fostering empathy and compassion. In the context of personal growth, love serves as a guiding force that encourages us to be our best selves and to support others in their journeys.

Self-Awareness as a Key to Purpose

Self-awareness involves a deep understanding of one’s values, desires, strengths, and weaknesses. It is the foundation upon which a meaningful life is built. By being self-aware, individuals can make conscious choices that align with their true selves, rather than being swayed by external pressures or expectations. This alignment between one’s actions and inner values is crucial for achieving a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Overcoming Adversity

Facing and overcoming adversity is often where profound growth occurs. Challenges like health, economic hardship, or personal loss can become catalysts for resilience and strength. Each hurdle overcome builds confidence and deepens the understanding of one's capabilities and purpose.

The Return and Sharing Wisdom

In Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey, the hero eventually returns home, often bringing newfound wisdom and insights. This stage reflects the culmination of personal and professional growth. Returning to one's roots or a place of origin, whether literal or metaphorical, with a deeper understanding of life's purpose and the desire to share this knowledge with others marks a significant phase in the journey.

Chilling Out with Family and Friends

Amid the profound quests for meaning, purpose, and growth, the simple joys of life hold their own significance. Spending quality time with family and friends, sharing stories, laughter, good food, and wine, is an essential aspect of a balanced and fulfilling life. These moments of relaxation and connection are not merely about unwinding; they are about celebrating life, nurturing relationships, and creating cherished memories.

The Joy of Connection

Gathering with loved ones provides a sense of belonging and joy that enriches the soul. These times of togetherness remind us of the importance of human connection and the love that sustains us through life's ups and downs. They reinforce our bonds and help us appreciate the support system we have.

Celebrating Life's Simple Pleasures

Stories, laughter, and shared meals are some of the simplest yet most profound ways to celebrate life. These activities ground us, provide perspective, and remind us of the beauty in everyday moments. They are the threads that weave the fabric of a meaningful life, adding color and texture to our journey.

Conclusion: The Dance of Meaning

Finding your places in the sun is a dynamic, ongoing process. You will have different places as time goes by. It involves navigating adversities, embracing change, and continuously seeking personal growth.

Meaning and purpose are not static destinations but rhythms that sync with your heart. They evolve as you evolve, shaped by your experiences and the choices you make.

Inspiring others to find their purpose can be achieved through empathy, enthusiasm, and integrity. Building communities and engaging in lifelong learning are also essential components.

Embracing serendipity and the power of possibility opens doors to unexpected opportunities and enriches the journey. Ultimately, the quest for meaning is a personal journey, but it’s one that we navigate together, learning and growing with each step we take. ??

All the best in your life!

Frank Choy

16 June 2024

Recommended readings:

Meaning and Purpose

1. "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl - A profound exploration of finding purpose through suffering and the human capacity for resilience.
2. "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren - A guide to discovering your life's purpose from a spiritual perspective.
3. "The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life" by William Damon - Insights into how individuals find and follow their life’s calling.

The Hero's Journey

1. "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" by Joseph Campbell - An exploration of the hero’s journey archetype found in many cultures.

Second Half of Life

1. "Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up" by James Hollis - Insights into the challenges and opportunities of midlife transition.
2. "Living an Examined Life: Wisdom for the Second Half of the Journey" by James Hollis - Practical advice for those seeking to live a more conscious and meaningful life in their later years.

Higher Purpose

1. "Shift Happens!: How to Live an Inspired Life...Starting Right Now!" by Robert Holden - Encouragement and strategies for living a life aligned with higher purpose and joy.
2. "Authentic Success: Essential Lessons and Practices from the World's Leading Coaching Program on Success Intelligence" by Robert Holden - Exploring how to align your life with your true values and aspirations.

Love and Self-Awareness

1. "The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth" by M. Scott Peck - Combining insights into personal growth, self-discipline, and love.
2. "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" by Brené Brown - Encouraging self-acceptance and authenticity.
3. "Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha" by Tara Brach - Exploring how self-compassion and mindfulness can lead to profound self-awareness and inner peace.

Resilience and Adversity

1. "Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" by Brené Brown - Insights on how to rise after falling and learn from adversity.
2. "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth - Examining the role of perseverance and passion in achieving long-term goals.

Lifelong Learning and Mentorship

1. "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck - Exploring the power of a growth mindset for personal and professional development.
2. "The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life" by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander - A book on how to shift perspectives to open up new possibilities in life and work.

Serendipity and Possibility

1. "The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles" by Richard Wiseman - Investigating the role of luck and how to maximize serendipitous opportunities.
2. "The Serendipity Mindset: The Art and Science of Creating Good Luck" by Christian Busch - Exploring how to cultivate a mindset that turns unexpected events into opportunities.
3. "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" by Elizabeth Gilbert - Encouraging readers to embrace curiosity and the unknown, opening themselves up to serendipitous possibilities in their creative pursuits.
4. "When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing" by Daniel H. Pink - Exploring the science of timing and how seizing the right moment can open new doors and possibilities.

These books provide a rich tapestry of insights and guidance for navigating the journey of finding meaning and purpose in life, embracing serendipity, and opening up to new possibilities. Enjoy your reading!